Guest JordanRiver Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 http://media.xfamily.org/docs/fam/gn/Post-It-GN-19-20.htmlt It goes something like this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kolaida Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 I could be wrong but I think I just read porn starring Jesus and the reader. But I could be TOTALLY wrong. But I'm pretty sure that is what I read. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pratt Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 — � — 27. (To Jesus:) You're better than the finest scotch, Either in bed or on the rocks. Smoother than the rarest gin, Drinking You is not a sin. Just like vodka, You get better each shot, It's never a question, the screwdriver or not. The tastiest mix You can concoct; Intoxicated by You, my world has been rocked. this is damn funny like fuck link,,,,,, hilarious & erotic,,,, haha 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Astreja Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 I could be wrong but I think I just read porn starring Jesus and the reader. But I could be TOTALLY wrong. But I'm pretty sure that is what I read. Mary Sue, is that you? (Or is it Marty-Sue?) Y'see, this is --precisely-- why I shredded all My old fanfics, lest they fall into the wrong hands. Oh, and Mr. or Ms. River, what part of Ex-Christian dost thou not grokketh? All you've done is hold yourself, and someone you love, up to ridicule. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 http://media.xfamily.org/docs/fam/gn/Post-It-GN-19-20.htmlt It goes something like this. Okay, whatever floats your boat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RaLeah Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 Ew. This is so gross! Calling Jesus "Babe" and "Baby" and "sexy"??? Wanting to "get naked" with Jesus... and even more X-rated graphic descriptions? Just... Soooo wrong on so many levels. It sounds deeply disturbed. This writing is not the work of a sound mind. At first, I laughed... and then I started to get a very sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that the writer meant this for real, in all seriousness. Then I felt a terrible pity for the writer, and I had to stop. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bornagainathiest Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 I'm deeply in love with a long-dead person who we know about only from ancient texts... ...because I can't deal with loving a real person in the here and now? 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Marty Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 You guys ever see the South Park when Cartman forms a christian band and just changes the word "baby" in secular songs to "jesus" and they go Myrrh (there are no "platinum" albums in christian rock). My favorite song that Cartman sang was a mock gospel tune with the lyrics: "I can't wait to get on my knees and start pleasin' jesus I can't wait to feel the warmth of his salvation all over my face" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 You guys ever see the South Park when Cartman forms a christian band and just changes the word "baby" in secular songs to "jesus" and they go Myrrh (there are no "platinum" albums in christian rock). My favorite song that Cartman sang was a mock gospel tune with the lyrics: "I can't wait to get on my knees and start pleasin' jesus I can't wait to feel the warmth of his salvation all over my face" Wait, the OP link is a parody site. It has to be. 16 "But, Jesus, You're my "extreme sport." Your loving is extreme. Sex with You is extreme" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrotherJosh Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 Go buy a vibrator. You'll get more love from that than a 2,000 year old Jew, who may or may not have existed. Edit: I was going to post some of the more...interesting...verses but then realized we aren't in the right forum for that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator buffettphan Posted September 14, 2013 Super Moderator Share Posted September 14, 2013 Seriously? Naw, she can't be....... Oh well, just another entry under my Christians - Looney file. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denyoz Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
par4dcourse Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 Jesus is a great sex partner! He has three extra holes! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RankStranger Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 This does bring up a point I've wondered about... and that christians never have a good answer for. There are references in the bible to the church being the "bride of christ". I've always wondered if this bothers manly christian men. I mean, aren't they gonna be spreading their legs on their wedding night? Maybe a certain subset christians are ok with the idea, but for lots of guys that's gonna be pretty awkward. And we all know that the bible is LITERALLY true. You don't get to weasel out by calling it an allegory. What's next? The creation account is an allegory? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thackerie Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 Ewwwwwwwwww! That's all. Carry on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Overcame Faith Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 I think the whole thing is a parody playing off the "bride of Christ" concept. It was posted on ExC because the OP figured we would appreciate the parody. If I am wrong and it is serious, then, well, I guess Jesus is bisexual because both men and women are the "brides" of Christ. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 "The bride of Christ" ugh - yes, the Bible encourages it. But, gross. I want to say, just grow up. I was in love with Captain Kirk when I was 14.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RankStranger Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 "The bride of Christ" ugh - yes, the Bible encourages it. But, gross. I want to say, just grow up. I was in love with Captain Kirk when I was 14.. Really? Some females have actually found Captain Kirk attractive? I wouldn't have guessed that. I always thought he was sortof a male scifi nerd's notion of what women would/should find attractive. I wouldn't have guessed that they got it right to any extent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 http://media.xfamily.org/docs/fam/gn/Post-It-GN-19-20.htmlt It goes something like this. So you want to fuck Jesus. Hokey Dokey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 "The bride of Christ" ugh - yes, the Bible encourages it. But, gross. I want to say, just grow up. I was in love with Captain Kirk when I was 14.. Really? Some females have actually found Captain Kirk attractive? I wouldn't have guessed that. I always thought he was sortof a male scifi nerd's notion of what women would/should find attractive. I wouldn't have guessed that they got it right to any extent. Yep, this one did. But I am certainly not your average female. Let me just say that William Shatner in his mid 30s was extremely (emphasized) attractive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RankStranger Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 "The bride of Christ" ugh - yes, the Bible encourages it. But, gross. I want to say, just grow up. I was in love with Captain Kirk when I was 14.. Really? Some females have actually found Captain Kirk attractive? I wouldn't have guessed that. I always thought he was sortof a male scifi nerd's notion of what women would/should find attractive. I wouldn't have guessed that they got it right to any extent. Yep, this one did. But I am certainly not your average female. Let me just say that William Shatner in his mid 30s was extremely (emphasized) attractive.I think Lt. Uhura was really hot in the first season, but for some reason that just didn't last. Even by the second and third season she doesn't do anything for me. Now Yeoman Rand was awesome. I wish they had treated her better and kept her around. And there was this female android with pointy boobs... lots of eye-candy in the first season. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 "The bride of Christ" ugh - yes, the Bible encourages it. But, gross. I want to say, just grow up. I was in love with Captain Kirk when I was 14.. Really? Some females have actually found Captain Kirk attractive? I wouldn't have guessed that. I always thought he was sortof a male scifi nerd's notion of what women would/should find attractive. I wouldn't have guessed that they got it right to any extent. Yep, this one did. But I am certainly not your average female. Let me just say that William Shatner in his mid 30s was extremely (emphasized) attractive.I think Lt. Uhura was really hot in the first season, but for some reason that just didn't last. Even by the second and third season she doesn't do anything for me. Now Yeoman Rand was awesome. I wish they had treated her better and kept her around. And there was this female android with pointy boobs... lots of eye-candy in the first season. Hey I still think Capt. Kirk was sexy! All that stuff with him and other alien/crew/women didn't mean a thing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator TrueFreedom Posted September 14, 2013 Moderator Share Posted September 14, 2013 " For the physical sensations of love and sex, even blissful orgasms and pleasure, are but a foretaste of the spiritual delights awaiting you on the other side." Heh... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 "The bride of Christ" ugh - yes, the Bible encourages it. But, gross. I want to say, just grow up. I was in love with Captain Kirk when I was 14.. Really? Some females have actually found Captain Kirk attractive? I wouldn't have guessed that. I always thought he was sortof a male scifi nerd's notion of what women would/should find attractive. I wouldn't have guessed that they got it right to any extent. You're joking, right??? I mean, I'm a straight man and I even would've fucked Kirk back in the day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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