RosebudMarie Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 This isn't about sex though, it's about marriage. (haha I made a funny!) I understand some people feel that way… but not everyone has the same view, or experience, on casual and/or premarital/post-marital/non-marital sex. Sometimes you WANT them to leave. I wholeheartedly agree that not everyone has the same view. That was my opinion based on my own experience. Most importantly we should give utmost respect and love to them, no matter what their romantic situation, and LET THEM LIVE THEIR OWN FREAKING LIFE! (Sorry, it's also my experience that Christians tend to be pushy, nosy, judgemental and a bit controlling, so I got a bit emotional for a sec.) 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 Sheesh, SanDiego, it's almost like the wimmens around this forum can actually think and form their own opinions and guide their own lives without advice of a man! Next thing ya know, they'll wanna be able to vote and even have careers. O.o You better start learning to cook your own meals, buddy. :-) (Satire, no flaming allowed) 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WaitingInfinity Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 Well, excuse me for wanting to live with my boyfriend! I can't get married right now. I can't. I'm in college and I cannot support myself until afterwards. We have decided to get married after we graduate. However, I still want to live with him. Why? Because I love him, I love being around him. I hate having to wait to get married, but it is my only choice right now. So next year, when I get to secular college, I'm gonna spend plenty of nights and days living at his apartment. Why? Because I'm an autonomous human being and I make my own choices. Not some 2,000+ year old book or non-existent God. And you know what? I am excited to get to live with him because over our 2 year relationship, I have been at a different college. We have only ever spent weekends together. I'm excited to be with him constantly because it'll really help me make the decision that I do want to marry him. We get along very well and rarely argue. I wonder how living together will change that--and I would like to find out what it would be like BEFORE I get married to him. And, I invite you sandiego4me to dare to question my boyfriend that he loves me and wants to marry me. You'll probably get an earful. He is so committed to me. Would you like to see the love letters he has sent me for proof or will you accept that he truly loves me in faith? How dare you judge me and countless other individuals? You don't know what love is. Love is not imposing your opinions on others. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandiego4me Posted December 11, 2013 Author Share Posted December 11, 2013 You do realize that a marriage is merely a legal agreement sanctioned by the state right? A couple can be equally committed without having to get the piece of paper. You can even get a ring and have a ceremony and not be "married". Ahhh, the old "it's just a piece of paper argument." Guys who truly love their women don't make this lame argument. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted December 11, 2013 Super Moderator Share Posted December 11, 2013 You do realize that a marriage is merely a legal agreement sanctioned by the state right? A couple can be equally committed without having to get the piece of paper. You can even get a ring and have a ceremony and not be "married". Ahhh, the old "it's just a piece of paper argument." Guys who truly love their women don't make this lame argument. How would you know what guys who truly love their women do? Who are you to speak for men in general like that? And where the hell is my Slushie? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 You do realize that a marriage is merely a legal agreement sanctioned by the state right? A couple can be equally committed without having to get the piece of paper. You can even get a ring and have a ceremony and not be "married". Ahhh, the old "it's just a piece of paper argument." Guys who truly love their women don't make this lame argument. Fuck off you judgmental troll. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandiego4me Posted December 11, 2013 Author Share Posted December 11, 2013 What sticks in my craw is women who are obviously being used. For example, I had two separate clients who each had 3 kids, but weren't married. Yes, that is what children want to see: Dad's too much of a weenie to commit to mom. Kind of like Matthew McCaughney (however he spells his name): His girl friend got pregant for the third time and he decided to marry her. It's about time. I'm all for women's rights. Raised by a single mother who raised 6 kids on her own with no help. Please, don't presume that everyone who is a Christian believes that all women should be Quakers. I'm just saying that it's sad when a guy won't marry a woman. Yes, there are exceptions to the rule, but, if a guy has been living with a woman for an extended period of time, he has his eyes elsewhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted December 11, 2013 Super Moderator Share Posted December 11, 2013 Excuse me, I asked you a question, Sandiego. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 Excuse me, I asked you a question, Sandiego. Keep that up and you will force him to start a whole new thread. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeadTOm Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 You do realize that a marriage is merely a legal agreement sanctioned by the state right? A couple can be equally committed without having to get the piece of paper. You can even get a ring and have a ceremony and not be "married". Ahhh, the old "it's just a piece of paper argument." Guys who truly love their women don't make this lame argument. OH man, this is such bullshit. What the hell does marriage have to do with love or commitment? How is marriage a guarantee of love and commitment? Marriages fail all the time. People marry people that they don't love, all the time. Men who claim to love their wives, beat them and cheat on them ALL THE TIME. Just what in the BLUE FUCK, does marriage have to do with anyone's love or level of commitment, to anyone else? My girlfriend and I have been together for eight years. We have no intention of getting married. In fact, we specifically have the intention of NOT getting married. I'm not just assuming this, we've actually had numerous discussions about it and she's just as adamant about it as I am. Neither of us wants to get married. We see absolutely no compelling reason to do so, least of all, the ridiculous idea that marriage will somehow seal our love and commitment for all eternity or give us some kind of guarantee that it will last forever. Seriously, dude. Go spew your bullshit at people that are actually interested in what you have to say. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RosebudMarie Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 My husband and I were married from the beginning. We GOT married to satisfy family and religion, and I wants marriage because I wanted to be his in any way possible. Was there ever a difference between married and not for us? NO. it never changed our level of commitment, our love for each other, or any other aspect of our life. The only thing it changed was our sex life, since the ONLY reason we weren't having sex was to satisfy some sky-daddy who seemed to be obsessed with our genitalia. That 'piece of paper' really was just that. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandiego4me Posted December 11, 2013 Author Share Posted December 11, 2013 You do realize that a marriage is merely a legal agreement sanctioned by the state right? A couple can be equally committed without having to get the piece of paper. You can even get a ring and have a ceremony and not be "married". Ahhh, the old "it's just a piece of paper argument." Guys who truly love their women don't make this lame argument. How would you know what guys who truly love their women do? Who are you to speak for men in general like that? And where the hell is my Slushie? I'm a man. I have inside information. Your clueless if you don't think men know what men think. Women clearly know how women think. Why would it be any different for men? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeadTOm Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 Raised by a single mother who raised 6 kids on her own with no help. Ah... it's all clear now. You have daddy issues. I don't know why I didn't see this sooner. This explains it all. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandiego4me Posted December 11, 2013 Author Share Posted December 11, 2013 My husband and I were married from the beginning. We GOT married to satisfy family and religion, and I wants marriage because I wanted to be his in any way possible. Was there ever a difference between married and not for us? NO. it never changed our level of commitment, our love for each other, or any other aspect of our life. The only thing it changed was our sex life, since the ONLY reason we weren't having sex was to satisfy some sky-daddy who seemed to be obsessed with our genitalia. That 'piece of paper' really was just that. Sorry, but society looks differently upon women who live with their boyfriends as opposed to those who are married. Just a fact. You can curse, yell, and do whatever else you feel is necessary, but it's the truth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 My husband and I were married from the beginning. We GOT married to satisfy family and religion, and I wants marriage because I wanted to be his in any way possible. Was there ever a difference between married and not for us? NO. it never changed our level of commitment, our love for each other, or any other aspect of our life. The only thing it changed was our sex life, since the ONLY reason we weren't having sex was to satisfy some sky-daddy who seemed to be obsessed with our genitalia. That 'piece of paper' really was just that. Sorry, but society looks differently upon women who live with their boyfriends as opposed to those who are married. Just a fact. You can curse, yell, and do whatever else you feel is necessary, but it's the truth. The truth is that society has too many judgmental pricks who let a cherry picked book do their thinking for them. I don't think anybody here disputes that fact. It just doesn't have any bearing because we are not going to let somebody else control our lives. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slave2six Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 I'm a man. Not bloody likely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
◊ crazyguy123 ◊ Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 You do realize that a marriage is merely a legal agreement sanctioned by the state right? A couple can be equally committed without having to get the piece of paper. You can even get a ring and have a ceremony and not be "married". Ahhh, the old "it's just a piece of paper argument." Guys who truly love their women don't make this lame argument. How would you know what guys who truly love their women do? Who are you to speak for men in general like that? And where the hell is my Slushie? I'm a man. I have inside information. Your clueless if you don't think men know what men think. Women clearly know how women think. Why would it be any different for men? You say this as if all men and all women are the same. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 I'm a man. I have inside information. Your clueless if you don't think men know what men think. Women clearly know how women think. Why would it be any different for men? You cannot be this stupid. Clearly you can read and write so you must be pretending to be this stupid. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeadTOm Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 If all men and all women thought alike, we'd have each other figured out long ago. I have no idea why most men act the way that they do. Ask any woman and they'll probably tell you that they're just as baffled by female behaviour as men are. If all women thought alike, we would have recognized patterns and learned to anticipate their behavior centuries ago, the same goes with women understanding men. Perhaps all the men and women in your congregation think the same, which would be because they're all told what to think and most of them have no idea why they should think that way, nor do they have the wherewithall to wonder why. The rest of the world, is very different. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandiego4me Posted December 11, 2013 Author Share Posted December 11, 2013 I'm a man. I have inside information. Your clueless if you don't think men know what men think. Women clearly know how women think. Why would it be any different for men? You cannot be this stupid. Clearly you can read and write so you must be pretending to be this stupid. Dude, what planet have you been living on? Men tend to think like men. Sorry if that comes as a surprise to you. If your position is to be logically taken, then the converse (i.e., your argument) is false as well. Bottom line, if a guy doesn't want to marry a woman it's likely because he's not in love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
◊ crazyguy123 ◊ Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 I'm a man. I have inside information. Your clueless if you don't think men know what men think. Women clearly know how women think. Why would it be any different for men? You cannot be this stupid. Clearly you can read and write so you must be pretending to be this stupid. Dude, what planet have you been living on? Men tend to think like men. Sorry if that comes as a surprise to you. If your position is to be logically taken, then the converse (i.e., your argument) is false as well. Bottom line, if a guy doesn't want to marry a woman it's likely because he's not in love. You seem to think that all men think the same. Where do you get that idea? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted December 11, 2013 Super Moderator Share Posted December 11, 2013 You do realize that a marriage is merely a legal agreement sanctioned by the state right? A couple can be equally committed without having to get the piece of paper. You can even get a ring and have a ceremony and not be "married". Ahhh, the old "it's just a piece of paper argument." Guys who truly love their women don't make this lame argument. How would you know what guys who truly love their women do? Who are you to speak for men in general like that? And where the hell is my Slushie? I'm a man. I have inside information. Your clueless if you don't think men know what men think. Women clearly know how women think. Why would it be any different for men? You are the clueless one, kid; especially if you think you know anything about love, or what men and women want out of their lives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 I'm a man. I have inside information. Your clueless if you don't think men know what men think. Women clearly know how women think. Why would it be any different for men? You cannot be this stupid. Clearly you can read and write so you must be pretending to be this stupid. Dude, what planet have you been living on? Men tend to think like men. Sorry if that comes as a surprise to you. If your position is to be logically taken, then the converse (i.e., your argument) is false as well. Bottom line, if a guy doesn't want to marry a woman it's likely because he's not in love. You are so stupid that you just contradicted yourself. I'm a man. How can I be surprised by what you think since as a man I would already know? Stupid Stupid Stupid Troll. What the hell is my position? What argument did I make? You are acting sexist and it is stupid. You are throwing buzz words and catch phrases like this is a Disney movie. Love's first kiss doesn't break magic spells. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrNo Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 As a marriage researcher, let me assure you that marriage does not offer any magical protection against cheating, nor does marriage in and of itself have any effect on the well-being of the kids. The research is clear that what does have an effect is the parents' respect for each other. Parents can be just as disrespectful to each other married or unmarried, or just as committed. The most recent research has suggested that one of the main reasons that we have seen marriages lasting longer over the last 10-15 years or so is because more couples are willing to live together before they decide to marry. I should preface this by explaining that the most recent research is controlling for confounding variables such as religious and moral beliefs, age (people are living a significantly longer amount of time which may increase the odds for divorce in later life) and social class (e.g. couples who live together to save money on rent as opposed to those who are making a more conscious decision to progress their relationship). This means couples wait to get married (read, they don't feel pressured to get married early so they can have sex) and they can see what it is like to live with someone before they make that sort of legal commitment. If he turns out to be a cheater, guess what? He would have been a cheater if they were married too. So they (hopefully) break up before they get married, which is a hell of a lot better than a divorce. I would love to see a study comparing cheating between partners who were just living together vs. married partners (there may be one, but I haven't looked). I would not be surprised if there was more cheating among married partners (again, controlling for confounding variables). Why? Because if you become unhappy with the relationship it is far easier to walk away from it than if you are married. If you are unhappy in a marriage, cheating can be a more attractive option than divorce. (Note that I am not endorsing cheating). Bottom line is that cheating happens, married or not, and we are seeing less divorce today because of cohabitation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted December 11, 2013 Super Moderator Share Posted December 11, 2013 My husband and I were married from the beginning. We GOT married to satisfy family and religion, and I wants marriage because I wanted to be his in any way possible. Was there ever a difference between married and not for us? NO. it never changed our level of commitment, our love for each other, or any other aspect of our life. The only thing it changed was our sex life, since the ONLY reason we weren't having sex was to satisfy some sky-daddy who seemed to be obsessed with our genitalia. That 'piece of paper' really was just that. Sorry, but society looks differently upon women who live with their boyfriends as opposed to those who are married. Just a fact. You can curse, yell, and do whatever else you feel is necessary, but it's the truth. No, only christian society looks differently upon such women. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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