BeccasStillSeeking Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Becca - if you decide to post, put it maybe in the "ex-christian life" section. If christian spew-meisters show up there, we'll take care of em for ya. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Roight! *rubs hands together* Lemme see what I can crank out, then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 What, you don't believe in the three forms of the chocolate trinity? Cake, Bar and Ice Cream. Be thee gone heathen. For you never were truly a chocolate eater. As a true Dietist I have to believe in one non-personal existence of the holy and supernatural chocolate, and not in a mono teethistic view with the a blasphemous trinity chocolate. I don't think the Chocolate is involved in our daily life, it created the Universe from No-Calori bars, and now let us eat in peace. Even though it seems tempting to believe in white, dark and milk chocolate... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeccasStillSeeking Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 What, you don't believe in the three forms of the chocolate trinity? Cake, Bar and Ice Cream. Be thee gone heathen. For you never were truly a chocolate eater. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> What about ganja brownies? Or is their use considered a "higher mystery"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 As a true Dietist I have to believe in one inpersonal exitence of the holy and supernatural chocolate, and not in a mono teethistic view with the a blasphemous trinity chocolate. Even though it seems tempting to believe in white, dark and milk chocolate... Check out this parody site I made: http://www.geocities.com/chocolate_cult/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sensitive_Flower Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Bullshiticus 17:4 warns us of the corruption of the chocolate: Thou shalt not mix the chocolate with the nut or add the frivolousness of the fruit, for this is an abomination unto him and worthy of death (but he loves you). That verse was shown to be a late insertion by the ones who wanted to remove the fun of having a fruit and nut bar. Im going to respond to that blasphemy in the manner of SBF.... *fingers in ears, singing la la la la la - I cant hear you* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeccasStillSeeking Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Im going to respond to that blasphemy in the manner of SBF.... *fingers in ears, singing la la la la la - I cant hear you* <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Oh, no, see, Chocolatists have their own special way of drowning out logical arguments. *passes over a Nestle Crunch bar* OK, now chew this loudly.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sensitive_Flower Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Check out this parody site I made:http://www.geocities.com/chocolate_cult/ WOW Im impressed!!!!! I bow to your site Im perusing it at this moment and in awe of the holiness oozing from it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeccasStillSeeking Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Check out this parody site I made:http://www.geocities.com/chocolate_cult/ WOW Im impressed!!!!! I bow to your site Im perusing it at this moment and in awe of the holiness oozing from it. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> That's fudge, dear. See? *nips some up with her finger and eats it* Mmmmm...sacrelicious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazy-tiger Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Im going to respond to that blasphemy in the manner of SBF.... *fingers in ears, singing la la la la la - I cant hear you* <{POST_SNAPBACK}> No, there was proof found that it was created by Galaxy in an attempt to convert people from Cadburys... (some people think that's just mis-direction though, and that the true culprits were the Swiss...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sensitive_Flower Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Ganja brownies are a manifestation of the cake. In the beginning was the Bean, and the Bean was with Cake and the Bean was the Cake, and the Bean came to earth and took the form of the Bar. And the Bar did not mix with the Peanut Butter. But there were many wicked among them who mixed the Bar with the evil one, Peanut Butter, and they were given over to the power of reeses. All who do such are an abomination, all who support the eating of reeses shall go to the fudge boiler for all eternity. I think this verse need to be added to the website Beccas. I was moved by the spirit when I read it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Ganja brownies are a manifestation of the cake. In the beginning was the Bean, and the Bean was with Cake and the Bean was the Cake, and the Bean came to earth and took the form of the Bar. And the Bar did not mix with the Peanut Butter. But there were many wicked among them who mixed the Bar with the evil one, Peanut Butter, and they were given over to the power of reeses. All who do such are an abomination, all who support the eating of reeses shall go to the fudge boiler for all eternity. AWESOME! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 To the Chocolate Cult site, you need to add the story of the Great Chocolate Flood too, and how all the sinful chocolate kittens got drowned in it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Checkmate Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 You guys are fucking whacked! I simply LOVE this Chocolate fancy we all share! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 You guys are fucking whacked! I simply LOVE this Chocolate fancy we all share! The best part is that Chocolate actually does exists, so it's not just a fantasy, but the miracle of Chocolate happens right here, right now. Well, except, I have to go to the store to fulfill it... but you get my point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bob Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 As I have asked so many others in these forums, if you can lose your salvation (Christianity), then how do you explain John 6:39 where Jesus says that he lost none of all that the Father gave him. If the Father gave you to Jesus for eternal life, then either Jesus lied or you were not a Christian.Please share with me your thoughts about this. Thanks Ok, I haven't read this entire thread yet, but must chime in.SBF, it doesn't matter what the bible says about salvation, there is no such thing. It is a myth. You are no more "saved" than I am right now, and I am not a believer. "Sin" is a meaningless word, so I have no need of any such "salvation" from sin. There is no need to explain John 6:39 because it has no basis in fact. If you want to discuss it philosophically, fine, but other than that, it has no meaning. As far as I can tell, there is no "Father" to give me to "Jesus", and no "Jesus" for me to be given to. If Jesus did exist, he was simply a man, very capable of lying. In a nut shell, I did not lose my salvation. Like you, I was NEVER saved in the first place because there is no "salvation". The only difference between you and any of us "exchristians" is that you believe now, where as we no longer believe. It's that simple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeccasStillSeeking Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Ganja brownies are a manifestation of the cake. In the beginning was the Bean, and the Bean was with Cake and the Bean was the Cake, and the Bean came to earth and took the form of the Bar. And the Bar did not mix with the Peanut Butter. But there were many wicked among them who mixed the Bar with the evil one, Peanut Butter, and they were given over to the power of reeses. All who do such are an abomination, all who support the eating of reeses shall go to the fudge boiler for all eternity. I think this verse need to be added to the website Beccas. I was moved by the spirit when I read it. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Hmmmmm. I'm feeling poetic. The parable of the Ganja Brownie And so it was in the beginning, when the Sacrament of the Cake was first given to the faithful, that the people cried out to Chocolate and said, Lord, we suffer, and there is no surcease. Your bounty has fed our hunger, made our tummies warm and our thoughts turn to snuggling. And yet this damn arthritis still hurts, we can't keep our food down, anxiety attacks plague us and, well, we're just kind of bored. In thine infinite mercy--whaddaya got for us? And so Chocolate went and woke up Cannabis, who was napping facedown in a pile of cookies, and said: Get your time-dilated ass up, we've got people to help out here! And Cannabis said: Huh? Whu--*blink* Oh, hi man. How you doin'? What was that? *sniff* Sick people? Bummer. Yeah, okay, I'll help out. *koffkoffeyerub* And so the Lord Chocolate and Saint Cannabis did combine their divine power, and when next the people performed the Sacrament of the Cake and opened up their ovens, they all exclaimed: does this stuff smell funny, or it it just me? And Chocolate said unto them: Start with a small piece, all right? And lo, the people ate, and then raised their faces to the heavens and cried: But it's kinda greasy and it tastes funny! And Chocolate replied: Just bear with me for about half an hour. And so the people digested. And their boredom dissolved. And their panics were eased. And their joints were made more limber. And they stopped puking. In short, they found it good. (OK...perhaps a little TOO good). And there was much giggling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Ganja brownies are a manifestation of the cake. In the beginning was the Bean, and the Bean was with Cake and the Bean was the Cake, and the Bean came to earth and took the form of the Bar. And the Bar did not mix with the Peanut Butter. But there were many wicked among them who mixed the Bar with the evil one, Peanut Butter, and they were given over to the power of reeses. All who do such are an abomination, all who support the eating of reeses shall go to the fudge boiler for all eternity. No, you need to read: First Chocolate, Chapter 1, Verses 1-4: (1)In the beginning the Chocolate Goddess created the Chocolate. (2)And the Chocolate was without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the Chocolate. And the Spirit of the Goddess moved upon the Chocolate.(3) And the Goddess said, "Let there be Chocolate," and there was Chocolate. (4)And the Goddess saw the Chocolate, that it was good, and divided the White Chocolate from the Dark Chocolate. See? Nothing about cake or brownies...yet. Maybe I should dig up some recipes and post them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 To the Chocolate Cult site, you need to add the story of the Great Chocolate Flood too, and how all the sinful chocolate kittens got drowned in it. LOL! I didn't think about that, but you're right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Checkmate Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 The best part is that Chocolate actually does exists, so it's not just a fantasy, but the miracle of Chocolate happens right here, right now. Well, except, I have to go to the store to fulfill it... but you get my point. No, no, no, my Chocolate brother. "FANCY", not fantasy. Of all the deviants in the world, trust me NEVER to consider Chocolate a "fantasy". <<<<<shudder!>>>>>> Now THAT would be blasphemy! Fuck. Where's that Hershey Bar? I know one of YOU miscreants stole it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Checkmate Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 I'd better leave this thread, before my family commits me! I'm sitting here giggling my silly ass off, and they're wondering about my sanity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Checkmate Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 I love the chocolate god so much that I feel compelled to melt some and rub it all over my body, run down the street with fellow chocolate lovers so that they can see our joy. Our joy will be PROOF that the chocolate spirit is inside, working us to righteousness. Praise the God Chocolate! QUIT IT, GIRL! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh shit! Here comes the strait jacket! Help! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Checkmate Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 TK...please, you are free in the spirit of chocolate to do this for Chocolates glory! Just watch out for that artificial sweetner lurking in the background, ready to steal the delicious natural flavor and replace with a nasty aftertaste. It will fool those who are not strong in the True Chocolate. "nhjymhukyu,jytumlm hnj mhjtyj6um6tyjum45nh45tgtbrrg7,kk, h5yn5yhnn 67ujm6ujmjmu6 jm u6j6um jm6u mj 67u" [garbled typing as a result of being in a strait jacket!] [snaps strait jacket restraints!] HaHA!! I am free! Free to worship my Chocolate Mistress!!! Come to me my beloved! Fill me with your Chocolatey sweetness!! Mmmm...Chocolate! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dogmatically_challenged Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 You guys are fucking whacked! I simply LOVE this Chocolate fancy we all share! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Heretics! All of you! The lemon drop god rules over all other candy gods! Willy Wanka is a false prophet by putting chocolate first before lemon drops. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
white_raven23 Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 All raise your chocolate up. Begin the Praise of Chocolate: "Oh chocolate! Mighty Chocolate! We lift your name on high! Sweetness praise! Cocoa raise, your mugs up to the sky! Thy goodness test! Dove Dark the best! Our honor be, Things Hershey! May all rejoice thy sacred bean!" Partake the choco-creamy goodness at this time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Priapus Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 Feh. I've gotten that before. I've gotten a LOT of stupid excuses from Christians on this issue. Including them saying that God DID answer my prayers, but I was too blind to see the results. Shyeahright. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Oh, but the best, the BEST one is the "How much worse it might have been had God not watched over you." So, God doesn't care that I get tortured, just so long as it's not fatal and the maiming's only superficial. Talk it out, little sister, that's [part of] how it gets better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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