PRIAPUS

[Ouroboros]

I love the chocolate god so much that I feel compelled to melt some and rub it all over my body, run down the street with fellow chocolate lovers so that they can see our joy.  Our joy will be PROOF that the chocolate spirit is inside, working us to righteousness.  Praise the God Chocolate!

I'd like to see that!

[Checkmate]

Chocolations (The end times for chocolate  )

 

I, John, a chocolate covered almond, was caught up into the third wing of the chocolate factory in the sky.  I noted amazing sights.  In those days, an anti-cocoa, Atkins, shall rise up and many will be induced to take the mark of the dieter, denying the Chocolate.  Then I saw a dreadful sight, a woman with crazed eyes came riding on a red beast.  The beast had many names and on his forehead was written PMS.  This is a mystery and a wonder to all who are male.  The woman went about devouring all the chocolate.  Many chocolate nuts were martyred that day. 

 

<<<<wipes tears of joy>>>>>

You guys simply MUST begin a seperate thread for this! It is TOO precious to stay buried here!

 

edited to add: Never mind! Sensitive Flower JUST did it! WoW! Talk about "answered prayers!" The Chocolate Goddess rules!!!

[Ouroboros]

Yes, THIS IS TOO FUNNY!

 

Praise our Lord and Flavor Hersus Chrispus Bar!

 

 

We have to start a thread to figure out the answers to these questions:

 

Do you have to be Churn again to be saved?

 

Do you need to be Dipped in Chocolate to be saved?

 

Are you a Chocoist or a Cocoist?

 

 

And here's some history too:

 

I know the history tells that in 350 AC (Anno Cocoi) Constipatin gathered all the priests to create the first State Chocoism.

 

From that time we have a Paper who wrap up all liturgy and dogma in the faith.

 

Later in 1517 AC Nutty Litter broke free from the Chocolist Church, and the now people could go nuts on any flavor, and any wrapper by choice.

[Sensitive_Flower]

   

<<<<wipes tears of joy>>>>>

You guys simply MUST begin a seperate thread for this!  It is TOO precious to stay buried here!

 

edited to add:  Never mind!  Sensitive Flower JUST did it!  WoW!  Talk about "answered prayers!"  The Chocolate Goddess rules!!! 

 

 

The choc God works in mysterious ways

[Kryten]

Mmmmm...sacrelicious.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ha! Good one.

 

"But be not ye dismayed when thou seekest the fudgesicle and findeth goo, for many are chilled but few are frozen."

Cocoarinthians 2:20

[BeccasStillSeeking]

Oh, but the best, the BEST one is the "How much worse it might have been had God not watched over you."

So, God doesn't care that I get tortured, just so long as it's not fatal and the maiming's only superficial.

Talk it out, little sister, that's [part of] how it gets better.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

*bitter snort* I have gotten that one too. And mocked it extensively. "Okay, yeah, granted. It could have been worse. I could have been beaten to death repeatedly with a flaming Semi. What is your point again?"

 

Besides, "protection from misfortunes that might have come to pass, whose non-existence does not in any way mitigate what I DID go through, but oh well" was not what I most desperately needed.

[NotBlinded]

I know you're baffled SBF, but you're going to have to accept that we are EX-CHRISTIANS.  Meaning we WERE christians and NOW we AREN'T.

 

[sBF] Well, we will just have to disagree. As I have asked so many others in these forums, if you can lose your salvation (Christianity), then how do you explain John 6:39 where Jesus says that he lost none of all that the Father gave him. If the Father gave you to Jesus for eternal life, then either Jesus lied or you were not a Christian.

Please share with me your thoughts about this. Thanks

How can you possibly be hung up on one contradiction and ignore all the others?

 

There are more choices than your either or situation that you give above.

 

You say, "If the Father gave you to Jesus for eternal life, then either

 

1) Jesus lied or

2) You were not a christian"

You forgot:

3) The writers lied

4) Misunderstood what Jesus said

5) Message lost in translation

6) etc...

 

Your black and white thinking must make life so pleasant for you.

 

 

Edit...Dang-it! Skankboy already said that...oh well.

[Ouroboros]

I guess you guys know about Mother Teresa being a strong proponent and preacher of Suffering.

 

Her mission was to comfort the suffering people, but never help them.

 

I saw the Penn&Teller show, where they interviewed people from the organization, and the money Mother Teresa Ministry was getting, went to build more nunneries, and not help anyone that was in real need of medical or financial help. It was really interesting. I got the feeling she wanted people to suffer, "suffer is good", and if we didn't, we should find a suffering.

[Savedbyfaith]

Thanks Doom!

 

Where is the fulfillment of the promises of the Psalms? You went out of your way to show me PROMISES, not Fallen World justifications for Earthly badness, but straight up promises. IF you are faithful to Him, THEN this will happen.

 

[sBF] You're asking me to tell you why God didn't answer your prayers. If I could tell you why he didn't I would be like God. Look, God is not obligated to do all that we ask. Look at Paul who prayed to be delivered from his affliction. If God didn't deliver him, why is he obligated to deliver us from ours? As Christians, we are called to suffer as Christ did (2 Cor. 1:5, Phil. 1:29, 2 Tim. 2:12, 2 Tim. 2:3, 1 Pet. 2:20, 1 Pet. 4:19, 5:9). I don't know why God didn't give you the grace to endure or the peace that surpasses all understanding (Phil. 4:6,7). That's the one thing he does promise in our pain and suffering. (2 Cor. 12:9). A Chritian friend of mine was just told that his brain cancer came back. You should see this guy. He has a huge hole in head and the cancer comes back! But he is filled with more joy than many Christians who are well!! I'm serious about that. I can also tell you how I felt when by doctor told me I had lung cancer. Suddenly, a verse came to mind: "He will have no fear of bad news, for he is trusting in the Lord." (Ps. 112:7). I should have been in anguish and fear, but "the peace of God that surpasses all understanding," came over me. I was not delivered from the cancer (which strangely turned out to be tuberculosis), but I was from anxiety and fear. I don't know why you didn't experience these things.

 

It did not, as my examples show.

 

I'll go one better: it is written that the Lord will not subject you to more than you can bear. I heard nothing from Him for 12 years.

 

[sBF] Neither did the man who was blind from birth, or the paralytic who stood by the waters for years, hoping to be healed. Don't you think they prayed for healing? God finally came through for both.

 

You think with my parental-abandonment issues He'd know that was beyond my limit and he'd have done something. I mean, maybe at 11 years 11 months say something. Not a dramatic party trick, but just a little something to say, "you held on, kept faith, and I'm proud of you. You're my guy."

 

[sBF] Please read that verse carefully (1 Cor. 10:13). I don't think it's talking about the trying or painful circumstances that come our way. It's more about standing firm when temptation comes our way. Paul cites the Israelites who were being disobedient in their pilgrimmage in the wilderness. They were tempted with idolatry, pagan revelry, sexual immorality and grumbling (1 Cor. 10:5-10). He sites all that for our benefit and then says that we too will be tempted, yet not beyond that which we are able to endure, having provided the means to stand. When we draw near to God, submit to him and resist the devil, that is all we need to resist temptation (Jas. 4:7,8). When satan sees us submitting to God, and resisting him, he bugs out. I know Christians who pray constantly for every conceivable form of pain, grief and sorrow they experience. Some are at the brink of questioning God and why he doesn't heal them. It's not easy. Look how Job responded to his suffering (talk about suffering big time), "Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him." (Job 13:15). I'm not saying that Christians should start tossing Bible verses when someone is suffering, but those who know them have them availabe to help comfort themselves. No matter how painful or long your circumstances were, God still wanted you to trust in him and know that he still loves you. Very few suffered more than Paul, yet his trust in Christ never waivered. Imagine keeping yourself afloat in the sea over night and almost being stoned to death. Were it not for the strength Christ gave him, he wouldn't have made it.

 

Nothing. THAT is why I am no longer a Christian.

 

PS. Thanks for merely suggesting, not coming right out and declaring, that I was never really a believer.

 

[sBF] I won't deny that I haven't challenged some here about losing their Christianity. I have shown what I believe are the appropriate verses. Perhaps I should not have. But then I would be denying what I believe to be true.

 

Edit: To answer your church question: When I first invited Jesus to be my king and saviour and the Holy Spirit to search and cleanse me I attended the Vineyard Christian Fellowship in San Francisco. Later I moved to Washington DC where I attended, and later left, a prominent evangelical Episcopal church.

 

[sBF] Yes, you had told me this in your previous message. Why not do something really radical this Sunday. Go to church :-)

[Savedbyfaith]

Ok, I haven't read this entire thread yet, but must chime in.

SBF, it doesn't matter what the bible says about salvation, there is no such thing. It is a myth. You are no more "saved" than I am right now, and I am not a believer. "Sin" is a meaningless word, so I have no need of any such "salvation" from sin. There is no need to explain John 6:39 because it has no basis in fact.

 

[sBF] Right, it doesn't apply to you because you're not an ex-Christian, but it does for those who say they once were.

[Ouroboros]

SBF, You're back! You disappeared there for a while.

 

So would you say that you gave your life to Jesus or did you gave your life to the Father?

[Savedbyfaith]

[sBF]  Vineyard is a great fellowship.  Perhaps now would be a good time to re-read chapter 15 of John where Jesus is the vine and we are the branches.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

I'm sorry for the "thrice" remark. Indeed, your hands are truly full carrying on a halfdozen discussions simultaneously. Forgive my impatience and impertinence for I am a hooligan.

 

[sBF] Forgiven:-) Would you do something? I'm sure you have heard of Campus Crusade for Christ. They have a booklet called "How to be filled with the Holy Spirit." I've been studying it and I think everyone can benefit from it. Sometimes Christians fall into the trap of "self-trust" without realizing it. That is exactly what satan wants us to do. That way, we are not effective, for apart from Christ, we can do nothing. We are still Christians but not experiencing the Spirit-filled life. Anyway, I think this booklet could be very illuminating. It's posted on their website:

http://www.transferableconcepts.com/transc...irit/index.html

Or you can call them and order one- 800-827-2788

 

Don't play the septugenarian card, though, some of the sharpest men I know are from your class. You're suggesting I was cut off because I "bore no fruit?"

 

[sBF] Being cut off could mean one of two things: 1) The "branch" that is cut off is not a true believer, 2) the branch is a useless Christian. But notice that Jesus said, "any branch IN ME that doesn't produce fruit is cut off." A non-believer CANNOT possibly be IN CHRIST. So if the doctrine of eternal security is true, then the cut off branches are useless, fruitless, Christians. This doesn't mean that they never produced any fruit, but that their lifestyle is such that they are in the non-production mode. If the branch NEVER produced ANY fruit, then the only reasonable conclusion is that he was never a Christian. True believers WILL produce at least some fruit during their lives. It could also mean that God will bring home a Christian who is not producing fruit and an encouragement to get back into union with Christ; become a "sap-sucking branch" :-) Abiding in Christ through his word and obeying his commandments is the key. Where Jesus says in 15:6 that anyone who does not abide in him will be "thrown away," is not saying that he is now lost. The Christian who does not abide in Christ cannot do what is pleasing to God, for apart from him he can do nothing (15:5). Therefore, what works he does have will be burned up at the judgment seat (1 Cor. 3:11-15) and he will suffer loss of reward, but he himself will be saved.

 

Return to your first love (Rev. 2:4). Begin by going on line and reading "How to be filled with the Holy Spirit." Confess your sins and receive God's forgiveness. I think you will be amazed.

 

Let me ask you this. During the twelve years, were you angry with God for not "doing something?" What was your mental attiude about your salvation?

 

Of course. I expected you to denounce the churches I attended as apostate, thus accounting for the Trinity's utter lack of manifestation to me. I guess the trusty ad hominem will have to do.

 

[sBF] So you believed in the Trinity, one God manifested in three persons? Did you also believe in the deity of Jesus?

[Savedbyfaith]

(SBF)

You're asking me to tell you why God didn't answer your prayers. If I could tell you why he didn't I would be like God. Look, God is not obligated to do all that we ask.

 

SBF, how do you know that God answered your prayer for salvation? He is not obligated to do all you ask, not even that.

 

[sBF] The only prayer God will hear from the non-believer is the prayer of repentance and faith. From that point on, the believer has God's ear because he is now his child (John 1:12). I know I'm saved because Jesus said whoever believes in him has eternal life. How do you know if you REALLY believe? Look at your life. Is Christ in the center, or is it self. Do you hate sin? Do you love righteousness? Are you in the word every day? Do you seek to become more like Christ? Are you trusting God to change your life? Are you producing fruit? Are you "plugged in" to the lifeline of your church? Are you telling other people about the saving grace of God? The Christian life is the continual process of dethroning self, and letting Christ reign in your heart. It is not alway easy, but, "He who began a good work in you will complete it until the day of Christ Jesus." (Phil. 1:6) I know that I am a true believer because my life is typified by these things. I'm not saying that I don't sin, or that there isn't room for improvement, but again, "He who began a good work in you will complete until the day of Christ Jesus."

 

Are you an ex-Christian?

[Savedbyfaith]

 

How can you possibly be hung up on one contradiction and ignore all the others?

 

[sBF] What others?

[Ouroboros]

SBF, Do you go on mission trips to Muslim countries and preach the gospel there? Praying for the sick, doing miracles and casting out demons?

 

Did you get baptized? If so did you do it as a baby or as a convert?

 

Are you filled with the Holy Spirit, and speak in tongues?

[Amethyst]

I'm sure you have heard of Campus Crusade for Christ.

 

Yeah, they claim all women are evil if they wear makeup or jeans (like the vast majority of women in the 21st century do), claim that everyone is going to hell for taking aspiring and drinking coffee because those count as drugs...oh, and let's not forget listening to even remotely popular music. Did I miss anything? Oh, wait, just being human will also get you sent to hell.

 

I can't stand people who think like that. I really, really can't. Reminds me too much of my mother.

 

I don't need to be part of any cult that is that judgmental of others.

[white_raven23]

[sBF] The only prayer God will hear from the non-believer is the prayer of repentance and faith.  From that point on, the believer has God's ear because he is now his child (John 1:12).

 

John 1:12 - NIV, "Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name he gave the right to become children of God."

 

Funny SBF, I don't see anything about the "Only prayer god will hear from the non-believer is the prayer of repentance and faith", in that verse.

 

Referring to that verse only covers your second sentence, NOT your first. The first sentence is not reinforced by the bible, it is something you pulled out of your butt. It is your opinion.

 

 

Perhaps you are unclear as to the rules of referencing, but let me tell you. Whenever you reference something, it is supposed to reinforce EVERYTHING you said in the same paragraph.

 

If you want to give your biased (god only hears believers) prejudiced opinion fine. You give it its own paragraph, totally unconnected with the paragraph that is covered by the reference you've cited.

 

Otherwise it smacks of bearing false witness. Good way to get in big trouble on a term paper.

[Ouroboros]

Referring to that verse only covers your second sentence, NOT your first. The first sentence is not reinforced by the bible, it is something you pulled out of your butt. It is your opinion.

 

 

 

Perhaps you are unclear as to the rules of referencing, but let me tell you. Whenever you reference something, it is supposed to reinforce EVERYTHING you said in the same paragraph.

 

If you want to give your biased (god only hears believers) prejudiced opinion fine. You give it its own paragraph, totally unconnected with the paragraph that is covered by the reference you've cited.

 

Otherwise it smacks of bearing false witness. Good way to get in big trouble on a term paper.

Amen Sister!

[Savedbyfaith]

[sBF] Well, we will just have to disagree. As I have asked so many others in these forums, if you can lose your salvation (Christianity), then how do you explain John 6:39 where Jesus says that he lost none of all that the Father gave him. If the Father gave you to Jesus for eternal life, then either Jesus lied or you were not a Christian.

Please share with me your thoughts about this. Thanks

 

John 6:39 is talking about THINGS that GOD GAVE JESUS. But You gave your life to Jesus, not God.

 

When you got saved, or born again, you gave your life to Jesus, right?

 

[sBF] My last communication to you was you're history because of your disrespect and profanity. If you want to apologize, we can talk about some things. If so, I hope you will act with decency and civility. I would expect that even from "ex-Christians."

[Checkmate]

[sBF] My last communication to you was you're history because of your disrespect and profanity.  If you want to apologize, we can talk about some things.  If so, I hope you will act with decency and civility.  I would expect that even from "ex-Christians."

 

On the Debate Forums description it warns to "Expect heated responses!"

 

Which word don't you understand?

 

We're "heathens". "Deceived by Satan". Perhaps even "his" servants.

 

Do you REALLY expect us to "watch our language"? Why? YOU are the "new creature in Christ". Why do you expect us, NON-Holy Ghost filled people, to exercise the Fruit of Self-control? Isn't THAT YOUR look-out?

 

WWJD with a bunch of foul speaking heathens? Would he correct their language, or just ignore it and preach his message?

 

If you can't stand the "heated responses", stay out of the fucking kitchen!

[Savedbyfaith]

John 1:12 - NIV, "Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name he gave the right to become children of God."

 

Referring to that verse only covers your second sentence, NOT your first. The first sentence is not reinforced by the bible, it is something you pulled out of your butt. It is your opinion.

 

[sBF] Perhaps it is. But consider Acts 3:19a: "Repent then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out..."

 

If God doesn't hear unrepentant sinners (Isa. 59:2, John 9:31), and Jesus commands repentance and faith (Mark 1:15), then repentance must open the lines of communication between men and God. Prior to repentance - no communication. Following repentance - God hears prayer.

 

If you want to give your biased (god only hears believers) prejudiced opinion fine.

 

[sBF] "We know that God does not listen to sinners. He listens to the godly man who does his will." (John 9:30)

 

"Your sins have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you so that he will not hear." (Isa. 59:2)

[Savedbyfaith]

I find it telling that SBF has chosen to only respond to one person for whom he has an excuse not to respond to. Others have given responses to SBF too. of course, I am female, so maybe not worthy of response, since women are supposed to be silent little mouses and defer to the wisdom of the male gender.

 

[sBF] Some of the greatest preachers for Christ are women. Please understand that I have to deal with several here. Most are disrespectful or profane. Please don't think that I am purposely avoiding you. But I have determined to communicate with those who are genuinely interested in sharing views in civility and decency. Nobody wins when there is anger, profanity, personal attacks, etc. Would not you agree? I'll be happy to respond to anything you would like me to.

[Savedbyfaith]

Ok, I haven't read this entire thread yet, but must chime in.

SBF, it doesn't matter what the bible says about salvation, there is no such thing. It is a myth.

 

[sBF] Well, I guess there's not much point in responding if you think the Bible is a myth.

If you would like scriptural evidence why it isn't, then I would be happy to respond.

[Ouroboros]

[sBF] Well, we will just have to disagree.  As I have asked so many others in these forums, if you can lose your salvation (Christianity), then how do you explain John 6:39 where Jesus says that he lost none of all that the Father gave him.  If the Father gave you to Jesus for eternal life, then either Jesus lied or you were not a Christian.

Please share with me your thoughts about this.  Thanks

 

John 6:39 is talking about THINGS that GOD GAVE JESUS. But You gave your life to Jesus, not God.

 

When you got saved, or born again, you gave your life to Jesus, right?

 

[sBF] My last communication to you was you're history because of your disrespect and profanity. If you want to apologize, we can talk about some things. If so, I hope you will act with decency and civility. I would expect that even from "ex-Christians."

You're in my iggy list... bye!

[crazy-tiger]

"We know that God does not listen to sinners.  He listens to the godly man who does his will." (John 9:30)

 

"Your sins have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you so that he will not hear." (Isa. 59:2)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

So God doesn't listen to sinners.

 

Since we have to ask God to forgive our sins before we can be washed clean of them, that means God would have to listen to sinners to be able to forgive their sins...

 

Now, that might not look like a real problem to you, but the upshot is, you can't ask God to forgive your sins since he will not listen to you until he's forgiven your sins... which he can't do because he doesn't listen to sinners.

 

 

Even better, since every human alive is a sinner, (Christianisms definition, not mine...) then God will not listen to ANYONE...

The only prayer God will hear from the non-believer is the prayer of repentance and faith.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

No, he won't... BECAUSE HE DOESN'T LISTEN TO SINNERS!

Perhaps it is. But consider Acts 3:19a: "Repent then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out..."

 

If God doesn't hear unrepentant sinners (Isa. 59:2, John 9:31), and Jesus commands repentance and faith (Mark 1:15), then repentance must open the lines of communication between men and God. Prior to repentance - no communication. Following repentance - God hears prayer.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

But God needs to listen to you to be able to hear you repent, but he won't, because repenting doesn't stop you being a sinner... Only God can stop you being a sinner, but he can't, because he won't listen to you asking him for forgivness, because you're a sinner and God doesn't listen to sinners.

 

 

 

You do realise that you've just proven that God doesn't listen to anyone? (and that's what the bible confirms...)