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Goodbye Jesus

Things Fundies Say On Facebook


Brother Jeff

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Hell is going to church every Sunday.

 

Amen to that.

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We deserve hell for...being born...? Why do people buy into this blame-the-victim mentality?

Stockholm Syndrome

Hell is going to church every Sunday.

Ramen

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Ramen

 

Chicken, Beef or Spicy?

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Ramen

 

Chicken, Beef or Spicy?

 

Oh, yeah! Definately spicy!

 

ns_shin_package.jpg

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We deserve hell for...being born...? Why do people buy into this blame-the-victim mentality?

Stockholm Syndrome

Hell is going to church every Sunday.

Ramen

 

You've been touched by His noodly appendage. lol

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Yup old Moses had poor eyesight

 

moses2.jpg

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Pfffffft. My aunt linked to an image some other Christian posted. Something along the lines of 'in God's hands'. The only problem was that the image in question was a photoshop of the well known imfamous goatse image. For those that haven't ever come across the goatse image, it's basically a shot of a nude man, stretching his.. ahem... butthole wide open with both his hands. The photoshopped version had the hands as 'clouds' and the 'butthole' as the sun showing through.

 

If you wanna see what the photoshopped version looks like, here it is: No worries. Safe for work and all that.

 

Sky_81fad2_117221.jpg

 

The irony. It made my entire week. Along with the fact that 90% of the comments were things like 'PRAISE JESUS' and 'GOD IS GREAT!!!11'.

 

Of course there were a few of us that got the joke.

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Pfffffft. My aunt linked to an image some other Christian posted. Something along the lines of 'in God's hands'. The only problem was that the image in question was a photoshop of the well known imfamous goatse image. For those that haven't ever come across the goatse image, it's basically a shot of a nude man, stretching his.. ahem... butthole wide open with both his hands. The photoshopped version had the hands as 'clouds' and the 'butthole' as the sun showing through.

 

If you wanna see what the photoshopped version looks like, here it is: No worries. Safe for work and all that.

 

Sky_81fad2_117221.jpg

 

The irony. It made my entire week. Along with the fact that 90% of the comments were things like 'PRAISE JESUS' and 'GOD IS GREAT!!!11'.

 

Of course there were a few of us that got the joke.

 

Someone should post the real goatse image to that FB page. It would be a public service.

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Today:

 

The moment you say to God, "I hear you, I know what you want me to do, but I'm not going to listen. Not right now." That's the exact moment the enemy has been waiting for so he can take advantage of and blind you. You'll start to believe you have all the time in the world to come back and do things right after you've had some fun. What we forget is that we aren't promised every moment of every day. My fellow believers, let's run this race without looking to the left or right. Let's constantly gaze upon our heavenly Father's face and be faithful to Him and His calling. The riches and pleasures of this world are a tiny grain of sand in comparison to the love, acceptance, and peace He has for us! May God bless you on this beautiful day that He has made. ♥

 

So basically: don't pay any attention to the world aroun you, it sucks. Heavens rulez!!!!!

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  • Super Moderator

Today:

 

My fellow believers, let's run this race without looking to the left or right. Let's constantly gaze upon our heavenly Father's face and be faithful to Him and His calling.

 

 

Ah yes, those god-blinders. Gotta love willful ignorance. Wendyloser.gifWendytwitch.gif

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I'm loving this thread. Despite the majority of people on my FB being Christian I have so few experiences with these kinds of posts. Apparently I was a part of a milder, gentler Christian culture. phew.gif

 

In the event I see something insane in the future I'll know where to share it. FrogsToadBigGrin.gif

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What I really enjoy from fundy's on FaceBook is how every once in a while they get caught going to a "naughty" site because they didn't turn off the track back link to FaceBook. Gonna have to save a screen shot of those or something and save it for their next FB god is great post.

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Today:

 

The moment you say to God, "I hear you, I know what you want me to do, but I'm not going to listen. Not right now." That's the exact moment the enemy has been waiting for so he can take advantage of and blind you. You'll start to believe you have all the time in the world to come back and do things right after you've had some fun. What we forget is that we aren't promised every moment of every day. My fellow believers, let's run this race without looking to the left or right. Let's constantly gaze upon our heavenly Father's face and be faithful to Him and His calling. The riches and pleasures of this world are a tiny grain of sand in comparison to the love, acceptance, and peace He has for us! May God bless you on this beautiful day that He has made. ♥

 

So basically: don't pay any attention to the world aroun you, it sucks. Heavens rulez!!!!!

 

Your last sentence makes me wonder if we can't classify Christianity as Dissociative Disorder....http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissociative_disorder

 

Born again? Sounds like an identity shift.

Ignore your immediate life and wish for heaven...hmmm...sounds like dissociation. haha.

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...track back link to FaceBook.

 

T... Track back? This is something I should be highly aware of. *paranoid eyes* My relatives don't need to know I visited 4chan, mmkay.

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Today:

 

My fellow believers, let's run this race without looking to the left or right. Let's constantly gaze upon our heavenly Father's face and be faithful to Him and His calling.

 

 

Ah yes, those god-blinders. Gotta love willful ignorance. Wendyloser.gifWendytwitch.gif

Can't they see how shitty their metaphors are? Keep your eyes on God and you won't see that pothole.
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Today:

 

The moment you say to God, "I hear you, I know what you want me to do, but I'm not going to listen. Not right now." That's the exact moment the enemy has been waiting for so he can take advantage of and blind you. You'll start to believe you have all the time in the world to come back and do things right after you've had some fun. What we forget is that we aren't promised every moment of every day. My fellow believers, let's run this race without looking to the left or right. Let's constantly gaze upon our heavenly Father's face and be faithful to Him and His calling. The riches and pleasures of this world are a tiny grain of sand in comparison to the love, acceptance, and peace He has for us! May God bless you on this beautiful day that He has made. ♥

 

So basically: don't pay any attention to the world aroun you, it sucks. Heavens rulez!!!!!

 

I hated how they used this sort of imagery in xtianity.How the fuck do you gaze on his face etc when he is invisible and everyone fucking knows this????I know they are meaning in some amazing ethereal manner but the truth is xtians come out with this shit,make themselves look superspiritual which left sincere mena nd women in the church aghast at their own spiritual poverty,meanwhile the originators of this shite would probably fuck off out for an afternoon of retail therapy or somthing instead of an afternoon of prayer and fasting pmsl.I really hated this superspiritual BSl,It was so easy to say that shite and folks would amen it.

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"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28 NASB

 

If there were no other reason, this promise alone would be reason enough to be to be a follower of Christ.

 

Oh vey!

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Today's joy. This was posted in a photo, complete with photo of a sandaled man walking on water:

 

"When you feel like you're drowning in life,

Don't worry--your Lifeguard walks on water."

 

Hmmm. That has not been my experience.

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Today:

 

My fellow believers, let's run this race without looking to the left or right. Let's constantly gaze upon our heavenly Father's face and be faithful to Him and His calling.

 

 

Ah yes, those god-blinders. Gotta love willful ignorance. Wendyloser.gifWendytwitch.gif

Can't they see how shitty their metaphors are? Keep your eyes on God and you won't see that pothole.

Yeah. It's like, as long as you're saying something in the right general direction, it doesn't matter wtf you actually say.
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Today's joy. This was posted in a photo, complete with photo of a sandaled man walking on water:

 

"When you feel like you're drowning in life,

Don't worry--your Lifeguard walks on water."

 

Hmmm. That has not been my experience.

 

OMG I saw this one, too! The photo is SO cheezy!

 

Yeah, some lifeguard! mad.gif

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tee-time_jesus-facts.jpg
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0 calories... All talk but no substance.

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Feed me

FeedMe.jpg

 

That is the rebuttal to the Tee shirt - Da munster church neads yuor bludd - actually your hard earned money

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A friend posted this today:

 

I'm going to quote myself. I normally wouldn't, but it was like this tiny drop of crystal clear water into an enormous brackish swamp that is our mundane human existence. Are you ready? "God sent Jesus to the cross for us because we are worth it. All we have to do is believe in that. We don't have to do anything other than accept the grace that He extends. He holds out his arms and you either say "poo poo poo don't hug me" or you say "wow, really? You love me just because? And even though I've screwed up a million times and will screw up a million times more, I am still lovable? Thank You, Lord, thank You! I have new life in You! I shall be forever grateful for all the ways You know me and love me."" Analogies. I haz teh.

 

It's not even cheezy or imaginative- more like xtian word vomit. WendyDoh.gif

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Word vomit....that is great phrase.

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