Things Fundies Say On Facebook

[lilcoppertop]

Feed me

 

That is the rebuttal to the Tee shirt - Da munster church neads yuor bludd - actually your hard earned money

 

OH MY FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER! I saw that play when I was a kid and it nearly traumatized me! Or did traumatize me. Or something. It scared me. =D

[2Honest]

Ok, I get the sentiment of this - but this picture is F-ing CREEPY!!! I love my mom and all, but you will never see me sitting naked with her, forehead to forehead. WTF?!

 

 

 

 

 

Letter from a Mother to a Daughter: "My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say: “You said the same thing a minute ago”... Just listen, please.

 

Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep. When I don’t want to take a bath, don’t be mad and don’t embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl?

 

When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don’t look at me that way... remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life’s issues every day... the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If I occasionaly lose track of what we’re talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be nervous, impatient or arrogant.

 

Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you. And when my old, tired legs don’t let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked. When those days come, don’t feel sad... just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love. I’ll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I’ve always had for you, I just want to say, I love you... my darling daughter. "

 

Happy Mother's Day!

[ConureDelSol]

Ok, I get the sentiment of this - but this picture is F-ing CREEPY!!! I love my mom and all, but you will never see me sitting naked with her, forehead to forehead. WTF?!

 

 

 

 

 

Letter from a Mother to a Daughter: "My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say: “You said the same thing a minute ago”... Just listen, please.

 

Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep. When I don’t want to take a bath, don’t be mad and don’t embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl?

 

When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don’t look at me that way... remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life’s issues every day... the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If I occasionaly lose track of what we’re talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be nervous, impatient or arrogant.

 

Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you. And when my old, tired legs don’t let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked. When those days come, don’t feel sad... just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love. I’ll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I’ve always had for you, I just want to say, I love you... my darling daughter. "

 

Happy Mother's Day!

 

I'm not looking forward to when my mom is that old. I don't think we're going to get naked together though...

[stryper]

given that older parents are sometimes bed bound.....you could be in for a surprise.

[Thackerie]

Ok, I get the sentiment of this - but this picture is F-ing CREEPY!!! I love my mom and all, but you will never see me sitting naked with her, forehead to forehead. WTF?!

 

 

 

 

...

 

CREEPY for sure! Brings back bad memories of having to care for my own mother in the last months of her life when she was suffering some dementia and needed help with dressing. There is something depressing, and even shocking, about the first time you have to help your mom pull up her panties and you notice that her pubic hair is all gray. Nope, don't want to think about that any more.

[2Honest]

Another word vomit from our former pastor:

 

 

"One of the best descriptions ever of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil (trying to figure out life in the closed system of appearances only) comes from Pink Floyd: "We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year; running over the same old ground; what have you found? The same old fears...." Jesus delivers from that: In Him, you might be swimming upstream at times, but it is always changing waters, new challenges and REAL growth!"

 

 

Can anyone decipher this?!

[LivingLife]

It is called profound shit. Why fuck up Pink Floyd with imaginary friends?????

[marmot]

Another word vomit from our former pastor:

 

 

"One of the best descriptions ever of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil (trying to figure out life in the closed system of appearances only) comes from Pink Floyd: "We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year; running over the same old ground; what have you found? The same old fears...." Jesus delivers from that: In Him, you might be swimming upstream at times, but it is always changing waters, new challenges and REAL growth!"

 

 

Can anyone decipher this?!

 

It sounds incoherent to me. I have realized that sometimes people have difficulty expressing/communicating their emotional/religious feelings, and so they make up this gobbledygook. It sounds profound to them and to a lot of people in the ingroup, but to everyone else it sounds like they are raving mad.

[marmot]

On that topic, I think the creation myth was one of the things that finally did me in as far as Christianity goes. I can't believe in a supreme being that commands we curb our curiosity and intentionally limit our knowledge. The creation myth smacks of a group of religious leaders trying to suppress the masses by limiting the flow of information. Who knew that the printing press -- invented for the Bible -- would be one of the highest yield conduits to destruction of faith?

[marmot]

 

I found this in a short perusal of my news feed -- more nonsense (apparently a prayer based off the parable of the sower/seeds?).

 

I also found a friend that had taken Psalm 23 and made it into a mad lib (too big to upload). This is how he has fun with his friends -- wholesome mad libs. I swear he was brainwashed by Campus Crusade.

[Akheia]

Those sound like Bastion lyrics.

[Cryptic]

Today's joy. This was posted in a photo, complete with photo of a sandaled man walking on water:

 

 

"When you feel like you're drowning in life,

Don't worry--your Lifeguard walks on water."

 

Hmmm. That has not been my experience.

 

Where was he when I was drowning in the middle of a lake by myself? Oh wait, he wasn't.

 

The life guards on the docks came out and rescued me! Thank Jebus I didn't wait for Him!

[Inqui]

Apologies if this is a repost. Someone I know posted it and I wanted to put up my rebuttal in a way I wouldn't be a bigot. Let them stick to their delusion and all.

 

 

1) It bears the Christian assumption that the world is a glob of darkness in desperate need of saving, without realising how many Christtards there are in the world.

2) It's not hard to take a stand for the majority.

3) I'm pretty sure Tebow's religious zeal is just for show, in the same way as a lot of bands are Christian in name only, and as a PR tool.

4) Even if his faith is genuine, his own holy book says to pray in a quiet place and not boast about it like the hypocrites.

5) It's rather a leap of faith that those 92 million people searched for the verse because they saw it on Tebow's face. Then again, these guys are good at making leaps of faith.

6) It's an even bigger leap of faith to say that those 92 million people hadn't heard it before.

7) Even if they did all see it for the first time, it seems fair to say that many would have immediately shrugged it off and gone on with their lives, with their curiosity satisfied.

8) They still didn't hear the gospel - only one selected part of it. Rather like seeing a nice picture of a house doesn't mean you know all about the house.

[Vigile]

Lying for Jesus again. A youtube vid is a huge hit when it gets 100,000 hits. No fucking way 92M googled this verse. That would be virtually 1/2 of all internet users in America, the only audience even aware of Tebow's existence.

 

If you have told even one lie, that makes you a liar.

-Kirk Cameron

 

BTW, out of curiosity, I thought I'd see how this claim stacked up against a google search. Sports Center, Huffington Post and other traditional media outlets are reporting this as true.

 

Meanwhile, I looked up the number of viewers for a typical NFL championship game and see that this year 57.6 million watched the NFC game this year. http://tvbythenumber...-on-fox/117380/

 

Assuming that at least half the viewers are xian and at least 1/2 again already know that verse by heart given it's been sprayed all over American culture for decades, meaning they have no reason to look it up. On top of that, at least 1/2 of those left would look in their own bibles as opposed to searching the net. Meanwhile, a typical ad campaign is super successful if it has a 10% click through rate. That brings the potential hits down to a very liberal estimate of just 1.15M. It is painfully obvious 92million hits is a complete fabrication, yet it's being claimed by major media outlets across the country. Media integrity appears to be an oxymoron when American is included in the phrase, and Christian integrity, well...

[Suzanne]

My aunt keeps posting on her wall: "On this day, God wants you to know..." I wonder how she knows what God wants today? (If I were controlling an entire planet, I'd want a beer every now and then, but somehow that never appears in those statuses... Hm.)

 

Todays gem? "... that courage is not always obvious.

Sometimes courage speaks in a small voice of quiet determination to return tomorrow and try again." I'm not sure how that even has to do with God, but then again, if you're inventing something every single day then at some point you're bound to stray from the main topic.

 

I've blocked her feed some time ago, when she started spouting crap about abortion which was really making my blood boil, but sometimes I go there just to see what she's said this time. My wall is otherwise pretty fundie-free, thankfully.

[2Honest]

My aunt posted this on FB. The photo and comments got me so worked up that I ended up writing a blog about it. lol

 

 

 

http://www.ex-christian.net/blog/174/entry-652-use-your-brains-people/

[SoftIce]

Oi, what IS it with people and nutty religious aunts? Seriously, I have one too! Is there some nutty religious aunt gene we have yet to discover?

[Suzanne]

Well in that case, I hope I haven't inherited it. My poor future nieces and nephews...

[Thackerie]

My aunt posted this on FB. The photo and comments got me so worked up that I ended up writing a blog about it. lol

 

 

 

http://www.ex-christ...-brains-people/

 

All praise Photoshop™!

[2Honest]

Um...maybe I don't want gawd to touch me there...

 

 

 

[Inqui]

Lying for Jesus again. A youtube vid is a huge hit when it gets 100,000 hits. No fucking way 92M googled this verse. That would be virtually 1/2 of all internet users in America, the only audience even aware of Tebow's existence.

 

If you have told even one lie, that makes you a liar.

-Kirk Cameron

 

BTW, out of curiosity, I thought I'd see how this claim stacked up against a google search. Sports Center, Huffington Post and other traditional media outlets are reporting this as true.

 

Meanwhile, I looked up the number of viewers for a typical NFL championship game and see that this year 57.6 million watched the NFC game this year. http://tvbythenumber...-on-fox/117380/

 

Assuming that at least half the viewers are xian and at least 1/2 again already know that verse by heart given it's been sprayed all over American culture for decades, meaning they have no reason to look it up. On top of that, at least 1/2 of those left would look in their own bibles as opposed to searching the net. Meanwhile, a typical ad campaign is super successful if it has a 10% click through rate. That brings the potential hits down to a very liberal estimate of just 1.15M. It is painfully obvious 92million hits is a complete fabrication, yet it's being claimed by major media outlets across the country. Media integrity appears to be an oxymoron when American is included in the phrase, and Christian integrity, well...

I see your post and I raise you an even more specific statistic.

 

Since Tebow was drafted in 2010, the game will have been the BCS National Championship Game between the Florida Gators and the Oklahoma Sooners.

 

The viewership?

http://blog.al.com/solomon/2009/01/bowl_tv_ratings.html

 

26.8 milion people, and that's with a 10% increase on the previous year. Then you throw in the factors you mentioned: remove the Christians, then people who know it, people who won't know it but will have looked in a Bible, people who won't know it and won't care and people who won't know it and look it up before promptly walking away.

 

92 million people my ass.

[marmot]

I don't think you guys are considering all of the possible factors. Three major factors I can think of:

 

1. Photos online in which people see the verse and google it.

2. Word of mouth from a friend that watched it.

3. See a topic trending on Twitter/Yahoo sports and google it (I do this pretty often...when I see a hot topic I am curious about what happened).

 

I still think 92 million sounds absurd, but there could be some second/tertiary effects from him wearing it -- not JUST people that watched the game.

[Inqui]

That's still a long way to go from the 26 million people who watched it though.

 

http://www.google.com/trends/?q=john+3+16&ctab=0&geo=all&date=all

 

Interestingly enough I had to remove the colon in the verse if that's worth anything.

 

There was indeed a spike at the start of 2009 (the BCS game was played on January 8), but the real spike came at the start of this year - presumably close to when Tebow's Broncos beat the injury-depleted Steelers or got trounced by Brady's Patriots. I can't see Tebow leading that charge.

 

I suspect that was Tebowmania coming to a head as the media began to pick up other stories and run with them - the John 3:16 verse would have been one such favoured anecdote in the way Vigile pointed out. You can see that the news reference spike is massive at the same time.

 

What we can also see is that Manila, Denver and Dallas are the cities that search that the most. Tebow is obviously massive in the first two, and I'd assume he's big in Dallas with his beliefs. What I'd like to see is whether people in those three cities knew the verse already (I suspect they did) or if they learned it through their hero's cult status.

 

Turns out the verse has pretty much only been looked for in 2012 in the Philippines.

http://www.google.com/trends/?q=john+3+16&ctab=0&geo=PH&date=all&sort=0

 

Ditto Colorado.

http://www.google.com/trends/?q=john+3+16&ctab=0&geo=us&geor=usa.co&date=all&sort=0

 

After the game in 2009, however, there was a spike in Texas:

http://www.google.com/trends/?q=john+3+16&ctab=0&geo=us&geor=usa.tx&date=all&sort=0

 

Even bigger in Florida:

http://www.google.com/trends/?q=john+3+16&ctab=0&geo=us&geor=usa.tx&date=all&sort=0

 

Places that I know off the top of my head to love their college ball (Oklahoma who had a team in the game, Alabama, Louisiana) were all too small for Google to quantify.

 

My conclusion, then, would be that the spike in 2009 would have been represented by people being reminded of how much Jebus loved them. I don't think the verse would have been news to people of Texas and Florida. It would certainly start trending in the manner laid out by marmot. The rest of it seems like a result of media hype that didn't come until 2012.

 

What we can still agree on:

*It's not hard to take a stand for Christianity in the United States.

*That number is a complete fabrication.

[freeasabird]

Found out this today god is violating free will on craigslist. Who knew?

 

After less than 24 hours on Craigslist we just sold the end tables and coffee table! Thanks, God!

[2Honest]

Found out this today god is violating free will on craigslist. Who knew?

 

After less than 24 hours on Craigslist we just sold the end tables and coffee table! Thanks, God!

 

Hmph. Guess we didn't pray hard enough when we were trying to sell our house on Craigslist for 3 F-ing YEARS. Maybe god is more into selling furniture.