You Know You're A Fundy When ...... (fill In The Blank)

[NotBlinded]

852. When it is beyond your understanding to grasp the idea that God may not belong to your certain book.

[godlessgrrl]

853. You feel compelled to keep reminding people how humble you are.

 

854. You feel compelled to keep reminding people that you're very humble and not arrogant at all, even though your belief system is (which you refuse to acknowledge).

[Guest JP]

855. You answer a post with, "I have an answer for this, but I'm going to be busy for a few days and I will answer it when I get back..." Then you run to your church for an answer because you didn't have one.

[Thackerie]

855. You answer a post with, "I have an answer for this, but I'm going to be busy for a few days and I will answer it when I get back..." Then you run to your church for an answer because you didn't have one.

 

856. But you never do come back to that thread (at least, not without first changing your user name).

[Open_Minded]

857. You have a sign on your front door that says,"This property is protected by the blood of the Lamb."

[mahjong]

You might be a fundy if

*The song "Jesus is coming again" never made you picture Jesus stroking.

*You are angry that gays took God's sign, the rainbow, for thier evil banner.

*If your child doesn't know the name of Santa Clause and calls Santa "That Christmas Guy" (my oldest son, sorry to say, didn't know about Santa Clause till he was about 10. Sheltered is too kind a word.)*You have told your children that Santa Clause is really Satan's Claws.

*You would never divorce your husband, but you secretely hope he will have an affair so you have a good christian cause to leave him. You might also pray that he will die. I did both.

[Taphophilia]

You might be a fundy if

 

*You would never divorce your husband, but you secretely hope he will have an affair so you have a good christian cause to leave him. You might also pray that he will die. I did both.

 

Hi Mahjong,

 

I did that too.

[Open_Minded]

862. In a lively debate with your liberal neighbors - you lean over to your husband and whisper "Do you want me to go home and get the Bible for more ammunition?"

 

(Yes - that really did happen. My brother's wife overheard the comment.)

 

 

Just 4 more indicators and we'll be at 866 (200 more than our original goal).

[Kelli]

863. You screw around multiple times on your spouse, all the while going to church and acting like the perfect christian. Then when he/she divorces you and you lose your children and realize what a dumbass you've been, you go to church and have a hyped-up salvation experience and proclaim that you "weren't really saved before" in an attempt to get your family back. This also serves to get the church on your side (even though you were the one in the wrong) because now you're a "new creature" and the christian spouse who divorced you after putting up with your cheating, lying BS for years should simply forgive you and take your sorry ass back. (My ex wife actually did this).

[Open_Minded]

864. ALL of the following describe you and your PROUD of it - especially your conspiracy theories regarding the UN ....

• You live in a very rural area
  
• You're male
  
• You like guns - lots of them
  
• You dislike government in general
  
• The United Nations is the work of the devil.
  
• The main organization of your life and where you get your "history" lessons has "militia" and "aryan nation" in the title - or its constitution - or both.
  

http://www.ex-christian.net/index.php?s=&a...st&p=243287

[white_raven23]

(Along the same lines as O_M)

 

865. You are not capable of original thought, so you are incapable of comprehending what plagerism is, that it is taken very seriously among us edjumacated folk, and that it's illegal.

[Taphophilia]

Keeping that ball rolling.

 

866. We can tell which of your posts contain plagerism due to the fact they are not full of invented grammer and spelling, and are easy to read.

[Kalidasa]

867. You tell your son/daughter that because they go to a Christian school, it automatically makes them a Christian.

[Open_Minded]

868. When people disagree with you, your response is: "Father, Forgive Them; For They Know Not What They Do."

[Mythra]

869. You can find no flaws in the following:

 

1 John 4:8 - "God is love."

1 Corinthians 13:4 - "Love is not jealous."

Exodus 20:5 - "I, the Lord thy God, am a jealous God."

[Ramen666]

870. You pray for people and hope God will show us up, so you can throw it in our faces. When the prayer is not answered you run and hide and try to come up with something not in the Bible.

 

871. You will not belive Jesus returned because he is obviousally the Anti-Christ and the Christians will kill Jesus again.

 

872. You believe sending troops to Iraq is ok and they will loose their lives but you think stem cell research is.

 

873. You believe global warming is not real and a plot by evil democrats.

 

875. You search on google for Christian and you find ExChristian.com, you come and look and you see were it lists hypocracy, evils in the Bible and you think Satan is pulling you away from God.

 

876. You get offended if me or anyone else spells Jesus as the following: Jeebus, Cheezus, Gawd, Christ the lawd

 

877. You think Harry Potter is evil and cruel but Passion of the Christ is perfect for kids

 

878. You sing songs and laugh out loud at Veggie Tales

 

879. You drive your car and pull out in front of people, they flip you off and you stop your car and pray for them.

 

880. You believe the Republicans are reliable as the Bible is.

 

881. You bought the Left Behind game and feel joy when you KILL those evil nonbelivers

 

882. You stopped reading this list at 10

[Taphophilia]

883. You think that 3000 US troops dead in Iraq is a drop in the bucket since 58,000 died in Vietnam.

 

884. You think 58,000 dead in Vietnam is no big deal because after all 40,000 people die in car crashes every year.

[pug]

885. You forgive.

[crazy-tiger]

885. You forgive.

 

 

Someone doesn't know what he's talking about... again. (which is yet another sign of a Fundy )

[Taphophilia]

885. You forgive.

 

All the while plotting your revenge in the afterlife dreaming of helping god kick their ass into hell.

[Open_Minded]

885. You forgive.

886. But only because Jesus commands you to love your enemies - not because you actually feel it in your heart.

[Thackerie]

... 880. You believe the Republicans are reliable as the Bible is. ...

 

Hey! I also believe that the Republicans are every bit as reliable as the bible -- i.e., not at all.

[pug]

887. Because Jesus commands you to love your enemies - not because you actually feel it in your heart - and you gnash your teeth, and reluctantly follow, but eventually you can do it willingly lovingly, and you realise how much greater love can be.

[crazy-tiger]

887. Because Jesus commands you to love your enemies - not because you actually feel it in your heart - and you gnash your teeth, and reluctantly follow, but eventually you can do it willingly lovingly, and you realise how much greater love can be.

Pug... you do know what this thread is about, don't you?

 

 

Here, I'll fix that for you...

 

887. When you insist that Jesus commands you to love your enemies, yet you declare undying hatred for various groups of people while claiming to be a True Christian

[pug]

887. When you insist that Jesus commands you to love your enemies, yet you declare undying hatred for various groups of people while claiming to be a True Christian™

 

Hmmm. Nahh, this is the correct interpretation:

 

888. When you insist that Jesus commands you to love your enemies, yet you declare undying hatred for various groups of people while claiming to be a True Christian; and you wake up one day and realise it would be better to claim to be a fundy ex-c where you don't have to insist that Jesus commands you to love your enemies, yet you can declare undying hatred for various groups of people while claiming to be a fundy ex-c.