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Goodbye Jesus

You Know You're A Fundy When ...... (fill In The Blank)


Open_Minded

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819. You rudely pound people with Bible verses, then when they protest your arrogance, you use the flimsy excuse of "Hey, it's not me saying it, it's God/Jesus/the Bible! Don't blame me!" instead of taking responsibility for the words that come out of your mouth.

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This is so interesting, seeing the messages people have been given from different Christians. I want in!

 

820. You're catch phrase is "Praise Jesus!"

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821. You annoy the natives, of ex-Christian forums, by saying "Jesus loves you"... by the way, Jesus does love you! :grin:

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822: You double post in the "You Know You're A Fundy When ...... " thread.

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821. You annoy the natives, of ex-Christian forums, by saying "Jesus loves you"... by the way, Jesus does love you! :grin:

 

 

823. you think the above point is cute. (sigh)

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822: You double post in the "You Know You're A Fundy When ...... " thread.

 

Hey, no fare! My "edit" isn't working properly so I couldn't just edit the first post to add the second comment. The EDIT works for a while and then stops working again.

 

821. You annoy the natives, of ex-Christian forums, by saying "Jesus loves you"... by the way, Jesus does love you! :grin:

 

 

823. you think the above point is cute. (sigh)

 

And it annoyed you! THAT'S what makes it so funny!

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821. You annoy the natives, of ex-Christian forums, by saying "Jesus loves you"... by the way, Jesus does love you! :grin:
823. you think the above point is cute. (sigh)
And it annoyed you! THAT'S what makes it so funny!

 

I agree with Piprus, "Funny in what way?"

 

Also - note the "(sigh)" at the end of my statement, Honey. You didn't annoy me (sigh) - you're post was a typical fundy post (sigh - boredom sigh) and so it merited as another point on a list of ways you might know you're a fundy. Sorry to disapoint you.

 

Now - back to Piprus' question, "Funny in what way?" :shrug:

 

Oh - and for one more point - Thank you for inspiring the following:

 

824. You just don't get it - you don't get why people respond to you the way that they do. :shrug:

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825. You get your sense of humor from a gumball machine. *Tee Hee* [Gag!]

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826. You think that including holiday carols from different religions is a bad thing just because Christianity is the dominant religion.

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827: you think that anyone who tries to mention another religious celebration that goes on at the same time as xmas is persecuting you

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41. You think the primary use of the brain is to keep the skull from collapsing.

 

42. You think "Boys to Men" is a day care center.

 

43. You think "Nights in White Satin" is satanic, because you ignorantly add a "K" to "Nights"(And that makes it satanic how......??)

 

44. You think "Peter, Paul, and Mary" are gospel singers.

 

45. You think that "Proctor and Gamble's" trademark is "of the Devil"

 

46. You think that barcodes have "The Mark of the Beast!"

 

47. You confuse the "hook 'em. horns" hand sign for "Il Cornuto"(The Devil's Sign)

 

48. You rebuke the calories in your food to keep from getting fat.

 

49. You think Amy Grant sold out to the Devil.

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41. You think the primary use of the brain is to keep the skull from collapsing.

........

49. You think Amy Grant sold out to the Devil.

OOPS.... Don't want to get out of numerical order here these should be

 

828.

 

......

 

836.

 

 

Thanks - next number up...

 

837. :)

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Funny? In what way?

 

Just in a playful kind of way. By making a joke, instead of trying to push Jesus on you, it's my personal way of saying "I may disagree with your opinion but I do respect it. So let's just make light of our difference in opinion." OH, and here is another one...

 

837. When you hear the story, of the woman who thought she saw Jesus and jumped out of a moving vehicle because she didn't want to miss the rapture, part of you feels very sad for her. The other parts says "GREAT! Another nut job making us look bad!"

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837. When you hear the story, of the woman who thought she saw Jesus and jumped out of a moving vehicle because she didn't want to miss the rapture, part of you feels very sad for her. The other parts says "GREAT! Another nut job making us look bad!"

Er...T'aint funny, McGee...

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838. When you use marshmellows being toasted by a campfire as a way to convert nonbelievers ("Do you want the flesh to melt off your bones like this here marshmellow?")

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839. Your response to the issue of Gay Marriage is the following.

 

Gays are allowed to marry just like everyone else without redefining marriage. They are allowed to marry someone of the other sex, just like everyone else. Whether they want that or not is up to them...

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840.

 

When you feel blessed for not having to endure the suffering of others without regard to the 'others'.

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841. If your entire presence on Ex-C is within one thread. Unless you got stuck, and started a new thread so you didn't feel obligated to answer the old thread. And when the powers that be take away your right to start new threads, it's naturally because they are persecuting your faith, and not because you are a message board troll.

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842. You throw away a Christmas Card because it doesn't mention Jesus or "the reason for the season".

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843. Before you answer our posts, you pray for the right words to answer us.

 

844. You don't understand why we don't accept everything you say, just because you say it.

 

845. You get offended when we ask you to back up your statements with solid evidence and/or proof.

 

846. You dont' think Open Minded is really a Christian.

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847. You really believe there is a secular conspiracy to take the christian meaning out of christmas.

 

848. You don't really celebrate christmas anyway as it is "Saturnalia"

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Actually I think that a truly diehard, literalist, fundy would in fact:

 

849. Be aware that Xmas is in fact derived from pagan rituals, and is one variation on the ages-old theme of solstice celebration; and...

 

849b. ...consequently refuse to celebrate Xmas at all, because of its pagan origins, and...

 

849c. ...would roundly and loudly condemn anybody else for celebrating it at all.

 

Shallower, fluffy-bunny fundies, on the other hand, would:

 

850. Seriously think that Xmas is a Xian holiday, and deny or dismiss claims of pagan origins as a "deception of Satan", and...

 

850b. ...seriously believe there's a "War on Xmas", and think it's because people hate Jesus, and...

 

850c. ...have a major shit fit every time someone says "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" to them, or when retail stores refuse to have religious displays, or when they run into displays based on religions or traditions other than theirs, or what have you.

 

(And actually these are kind of repeating stuff that's been put up already anyway, I just reiterated for the distinction between hardcore fundies and fluff-bunny fundies.)

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(And actually these are kind of repeating stuff that's been put up already anyway, I just reiterated for the distinction between hardcore fundies and fluff-bunny fundies.)

 

You mean there are kind of like spikey fundies and fluffy fundies? Yeah, I see what you mean...

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851. When called on to explain something about your dogma/theology that is violent and flies in the face of a supposedly infinitely loving GOD you say things like:

  • I don't know the mind of God
  • God's way is not my way
  • God has His reasons - we don't have to know them - we are required to walk in faith.

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