Things Fundies Say On Facebook

[ReasonQuest]

The other day a FB friend had posted that he had witnessed a car accident and helped an injured person until the ambulance came. Someone replied to the post and said something like:

"Isn't God just amazing for always just putting us in the right place at the exact right time to help in a situation like that. Praise Jesus!"

 

This person has never herd of the term confirmation bias. How would we know a situation where God didn't put us there? If God is going to take the time to intervene to put you in place to help a car accident victim, why didn't he just keep the accident from happening in the first place? Sick bastard!

[Will02]

"22 years old today and a day closer to God's Kingdom!"

 

Jesus Fucking Christ, why can't they look around them and actually enjoy the ride?

 

 

That's the most depressing thing I've seen all day. Whoever wrote that on FB should go on suicide watch with that sort of mentality.

[Adamtrev11]

The other day a FB friend had posted that he had witnessed a car accident and helped an injured person until the ambulance came. Someone replied to the post and said something like:

"Isn't God just amazing for always just putting us in the right place at the exact right time to help in a situation like that. Praise Jesus!"

 

 

This person has never herd of the term confirmation bias. How would we know a situation where God didn't put us there? If God is going to take the time to intervene to put you in place to help a car accident victim, why didn't he just keep the accident from happening in the first place? Sick bastard!

 

Ugghh.. so typical! I'm glad I don't have FB. My family wants me to join.. they think it's weird that I'm the only one they know that hasn't joined.. but this thread confirms that I'll be staying away from FB. I couldn't deal with the fundie comments.

[ConureDelSol]

Ugh...there's a church I pass by on Tuesdays that has a sign out front reading:

 

"You have a new friend request from Jesus. Accept or ignore?"

 

If I had the time and food in my stomach, I would have stopped and barfed on the sign.

Missed opportunitty. Stop an pose with hand or finger on Ignore and other had thumbs up, post to facebook and here

 

 

 

You have officially lived my dream. You are truly awesome.

[stryper]

Here's a recent one

 

 

 

 

(fundy) So, what, it's okay to not cover it because it happen overseas?

 

Yes, there is also persecution of Christians here. Right now, it just looks a little different than in a place like Burma, China, Syria, etc. the ACLU tries to eliminate all references to Christianity by pressuring elected officials ti continuously legislate Christianity out of the public eye not just around Christmas but in all things. (read: holiday tree, happy holiday, exclusive teaching of (flawed) theory of evolution (a theory Darwin himself disputed later in lufe but textbook dont teach that), elimination of the Ten Commandments at justice buildings, I could keep going but I'm really hoping you get my point)

 

(additional comment removed)

 

ME add to that which of the some 30,000 different Christian sects to teach. If that were to happen in the US you can bet Evangelicals would be the most vicious in getting their brand of Christianity taught.

about an hour ago as to persecution in the US.... http://api.ning.com/...ression_pie.png

 

http://api.ning.com/...Ka37qYcNf8RtpuZ

api.ning.com

 

(fundy) Your tone and that sarcastic picture represent persecution of Christians. It's that very attitude that I'm talking about. Like I said above, persecution here in the U.S. looks different. In other countries, Christians are burned, stoned and more. Here, we get to deal with the sarcastic snarking of people like you. I'm sure that "oppression pie" was based on totally accurate statistical Census Bureau data too, right?? You've obviously missed the point. There may be more Christians here, but it's the only group that people just like you find it acceptable to make fun of with images like that. You likely don't go around making fun of Muslims, Catholics, Jews, Buddhists, etc. do you?? No...because THAT would be intolerant. But, hey. Let's make fun of Christians. Let's make them look like the blundering idiots in film/TV. Let's post immature, intolerant pictures on Facebook.

 

 

(fundy) Hillary Clinton called on the world to not discriminate against gays, etc. My first comment was that it would be nice if she did the same for Christians. Hence, my posting of www.persecution.org. If you're going to snark, consider doing it only after reading an entire post (Christian & Trevor). It makes you look a tad more intelligent. Like I said, you missed the point and further helped me make mine.

 

(me) And what about the persecution of Tibetan buddhists and the fulun gong in China. How about the persecution of those perceived as witches in Africa by Christians. How about the persecution of Muslims by Jews in Palestine. or Mutual persecution of the different islamic sects against each other. Or my personal favorite the persecution of Christians against former Christians or even those who aren't True Christian ™. In short your point was gotten but deemed fallacious because what you deem persecution isn't. As to making Christians look like blundering idiots, it's not that hard. Ray Comfort is a buffoon for example by trying to disprove evolution with the banana. The banana in the form most people know today was the result of 1000's of years of evolution and then a few hundred years of genetic tampering through selective breeding.

 

(me) Additionally, Benny Hinn making claims without proof that he can heal people through his television broadcasts....seriously. It doesn't take much to find the absurd and ridiculous when it is put up on youtube or TV.

 

(me) As to Hillary not calling for an end to the persecution of Christians, the US has no official religion. It was not founded as a Christian nation. Therefore, she cannot go to other countries a talk about fighting Christian persecution without facing a political firestorm here.

 

That is why the argument often gets phrased in terms of civil rights for a specific group.

[jblueep]

On one of my "evangelists" friend's status just now...

 

Jesus was placed in a manger a feed trough so that shepherds pastors would know what to feed there flocks feed them on lamb. It will cause them to declare peace on earth good will to men!

 

I don't even know what this means?

 

So, here's some fundy's response to the above status. Talk about streeeeeeeeeching for meaning! Yikes

 

So that we can eat the whole Lamb and express his life..what a trend of thought. Let's look at Isaiah 1:3 :The ox knoweth its owner, the donkey the master's crib" .....crib/manger/stall. Malachi 4:2 says you shall go forth and GROW UP as calves/ oxen of the Stall. After feasting on what's laid in the through/ manger the calf will GROW UP. In Ezekiel1 wesaw four faces-the face of a man, lion, ox and eagle. In Ezekiel 10 we see four faces - the face of a man, lion, eagle and a cherub. The face of the ox became a cherub all because it was feasting on the lamb in the manger. O Glory we see that face of the cherub on the mercy seat and back in the garden...wow! What a finished work...Keep Feasting on the Whole Lamb

[stryper]

So that we can eat the whole Lamb and express his life..what a trend of thought. Let's look at Isaiah 1:3 :The ox knoweth its owner, the donkey the master's crib" .....crib/manger/stall. Malachi 4:2 says you shall go forth and GROW UP as calves/ oxen of the Stall. After feasting on what's laid in the through/ manger the calf will GROW UP. In Ezekiel1 wesaw four faces-the face of a man, lion, ox and eagle. In Ezekiel 10 we see four faces - the face of a man, lion, eagle and a cherub. The face of the ox became a cherub all because it was feasting on the lamb in the manger. O Glory we see that face of the cherub on the mercy seat and back in the garden...wow! What a finished work...Keep Feasting on the Whole Lamb

 

YAY!!!! cannibalism now time for lunch.

[LivingLife]

Not a fundie post but a funny reprisal to all teh baybee jeebus shite floating around at the moment

Please put this on your status if you know someone who is an asshole. Or maybe a two-faced bastard, or someone who deserves a good hard punch in the face. Or a major selfish 'me me me' drama queen. Or even someone that will take advantage of your kindness and give you nothing back. These idiots affect the lives of many. There is still no known cure for these Dickheads, but we can raise awareness. Statistically 93% of people won't copy and paste this, so let's see who the 7% with balls are!

OR

I sent an angel to watch over you last night but she came back saying she can't watch porn!!

Thanks for traumatizing my fucking angel!

 

[Droptail]

Ugh...there's a church I pass by on Tuesdays that has a sign out front reading:

 

"You have a new friend request from Jesus. Accept or ignore?"

 

If I had the time and food in my stomach, I would have stopped and barfed on the sign.

Missed opportunitty. Stop an pose with hand or finger on Ignore and other had thumbs up, post to facebook and here

 

 

 

You have officially lived my dream. You are truly awesome.

 

Oh, I only wish that were me. That's a picture I grabbed off the Intertubes at some point. Tell you what? If I ever see such a church sign around here, I will stop whatever I'm doing and snap my own photo. And there will be much rejoicing.

[jblueep]

I sent an angel to watch over you last night but she came back saying she can't watch porn!!

Thanks for traumatizing my fucking angel!

 

Brilliant!

[stryper]

Not a fundie post but a funny reprisal to all teh baybee jeebus shite floating around at the moment

Please put this on your status if you know someone who is an asshole. Or maybe a two-faced bastard, or someone who deserves a good hard punch in the face. Or a major selfish 'me me me' drama queen. Or even someone that will take advantage of your kindness and give you nothing back. These idiots affect the lives of many. There is still no known cure for these Dickheads, but we can raise awareness. Statistically 93% of people won't copy and paste this, so let's see who the 7% with balls are!

OR

I sent an angel to watch over you last night but she came back saying she can't watch porn!!

Thanks for traumatizing my fucking angel!

 

[Positivist]

So, here's some fundy's response to the above status. Talk about streeeeeeeeeching for meaning! Yikes

So that we can eat the whole Lamb and express his life..what a trend of thought. Let's look at Isaiah 1:3 :The ox knoweth its owner, the donkey the master's crib" .....crib/manger/stall. Malachi 4:2 says you shall go forth and GROW UP as calves/ oxen of the Stall. After feasting on what's laid in the through/ manger the calf will GROW UP. In Ezekiel1 wesaw four faces-the face of a man, lion, ox and eagle. In Ezekiel 10 we see four faces - the face of a man, lion, eagle and a cherub. The face of the ox became a cherub all because it was feasting on the lamb in the manger. O Glory we see that face of the cherub on the mercy seat and back in the garden...wow! What a finished work...Keep Feasting on the Whole Lamb

OMG. I used to understand this stuff. I used to journal stuff like this! Ack! It's a wonder I wasn't committed!

[2Honest]

Just saw this one:

 

"A CAMEL IS A HORSE PUT TOGETHER BY A COMMITTEE; MY HOW WE NEED TO GIVE GOD HIS CHURCH BACK SO THAT HE CAN SHAKE US ONE MORE TIME!!!"

 

 

[Thought2Much]

Just saw this one:

 

"A CAMEL IS A HORSE PUT TOGETHER BY A COMMITTEE; MY HOW WE NEED TO GIVE GOD HIS CHURCH BACK SO THAT HE CAN SHAKE US ONE MORE TIME!!!"

 

 

Holy non sequitur, Batman! It looks like that Facebook post was put together by a committee.

[Sybaris]

Some latest gems from a few of my FB fundy friends:

 

"NEWS FLASH PEOPLE , that Stop Drop and Roll thing won't work in Hell, just an F.Y.I."

 

"Serving God does not mean that we no longer have difficulties in life. We are still on the battlefield, but we never have to fight alone."

 

"OK I am just going to throw this out there. If you read the bible...don't you think that there were ET events? I think there must have been aliens visiting this Earth years ago."

[Positivist]

Ladies: Place your heart in the hands of God and he will place it in the hands of a man who he believes deserves it.

This is just wrong on so many levels

Ew! This is abhorrent!!

[Positivist]

Some latest gems from a few of my FB fundy friends:

"NEWS FLASH PEOPLE , that Stop Drop and Roll thing won't work in Hell, just an F.Y.I."

"Serving God does not mean that we no longer have difficulties in life. We are still on the battlefield, but we never have to fight alone."

"OK I am just going to throw this out there. If you read the bible...don't you think that there were ET events? I think there must have been aliens visiting this Earth years ago."

Christianity is the only socially acceptable delusion, one for which you will not be committed.

 

It blows my mind that that used to be me saying stuff like that!

[Eugene39]

A friend went on this rant this morning.

Hmmm ... not sure what I was expecting when I logged onto F/B this morning, but I certainly was not expecting a large picture of a naked female being painted by a male companion. F/B, not sure what your standards are, but in my book, a painted naked person is still a naked person with a layer of paint. I do not consider a covering of paint the same as coverage by a layer of clothes, particularly when the layer of paint accents the female genitalia and other prominent female body parts. Bad enough on a small picture, but this was a large picture, larger than most pictures displayed on F/B. Maybe time to stop harassing users for perceived violations, as are being reported by several users, and focus on stopping posts and actions such as this picture which has no place on F/B and actually could be potentially illegal in certain situations. Plenty of other sites desire and encourage such posts.

[blackpudd1n]

A friend went on this rant this morning.

Hmmm ... not sure what I was expecting when I logged onto F/B this morning, but I certainly was not expecting a large picture of a naked female being painted by a male companion. F/B, not sure what your standards are, but in my book, a painted naked person is still a naked person with a layer of paint. I do not consider a covering of paint the same as coverage by a layer of clothes, particularly when the layer of paint accents the female genitalia and other prominent female body parts. Bad enough on a small picture, but this was a large picture, larger than most pictures displayed on F/B. Maybe time to stop harassing users for perceived violations, as are being reported by several users, and focus on stopping posts and actions such as this picture which has no place on F/B and actually could be potentially illegal in certain situations. Plenty of other sites desire and encourage such posts.

 

I'd tell your darling xtian friend that they could just delete their account, if they found FB that repulsive, and join another website where THEY could engage with like minded people, instead of being the morality police.

[Prestissimo]

They're typing in tongues on Facebook now.

 

ROFL. I just can't stop laughing! They should add that language to Facebook. they already have Pirate English, Can't wait for Christian English! Google Translate should pick it up too !

[Prestissimo]

I found another classic on facebook. My christian niece from the States:

 

Education:Homeshooled

 

that sure explains a lot...

[Antikristos]

Posts from today:

 

"God isn't an option, he is a necessity." Really?

 

"A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him to find her." Puke.

 

"Love the people God gave you, because He will need them back one day." That is just stupid! Reminds me of "We loved you, but God loved you more." I've always hated that.

 

and this little gem:

 

"Faith in God changes everything." Sure does. It's an absolute mindfuck...praise gawd.

[HappySlap]

They're typing in tongues on Facebook now.

 

Oh, this is way too funny!

[Positivist]

Today's Fundybook posts:

Jesus loves YOU! That's right, you! (Then why doesn't he ever tell me that himself?)

 

What we need is pure religion (James 1:27) (Go crazy. Call me when you're sober?)

 

Pain draws me to commune more deeply with Jesus. (Fantastic. It made me an atheist.)

 

His strength is made perfect in my weaknes. (Right. That makes sense.)

 

Good Morning and Welcome to Flight #2012. We are prepared to take off into the New Year. Please make sure your Attitude and Blessings are secured and locked in an upright position. All self destructive devices should be turned off at this time. All negativity, hurt and discouragement should be put away. Should we lose Altitude under pressure during the flight, reach up and pull down a Prayer. Prayers will automatically be activated by Faith. Once your Faith is activated you can assist other passengers. There will be NO BAGGAGE, allowed on this flight. The Captain has cleared us for takeoff. Destination GREATNESS. Plz repost if you are taking this flight with me.

 

[midniterider]

Amen Joyce

 

 

 

Joyce Meyer Ministries

Don’t mourn bad decisions—overcome them with good ones.

 

.........................

 

The above was today's post I found on FB. Joyce is so full of shit wisdom isn't she? It is funny when supposed learned people spew advice that isn't particularly groundbreaking.