Mythra Posted June 16, 2005 Author Share Posted June 16, 2005 Thanks all, now Back to your regularly scheduled Thread un-hijacking <{POST_SNAPBACK}> No, see, you just proved it can't be hijacked. Now, we just turned the corner, that's all. Now we'll talk about Aaryn (behind his back) - it's o.k., biblegod isn't listening. If he didn't listen to me when I was a christian, I'm sure he isn't now. I failed to read aaryn's post here close enough. HE'S a MARTYR for christ! Well, Geeezus Christ! And the Cross he has to bear is putting up with US!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Japedo Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 I would have preferred to post it on the thread he said it, but it was the thread for Christians only, Sorry his points 1 & 2 just pissed me off.. so wanted to vent, LOL It suxs ya can't ping people here... (Or if you can I haven't figured out how to yet?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purple Rhino Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 Looks like time for another list PR 48 phrases we wish we could say at work 1. Ahhh... I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again... 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 3. How about never? Is never good for you? 4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. 5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me. 6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter. 7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message... 8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant. 9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying. 10. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit. 11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. 12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. 13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn. 14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. 15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you. 16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. 17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist. 18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental... 19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!? 20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. 21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off. 22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial. 23. No, my powers can only be used for good. 24. You sound reasonable... Time to up the medication. 25. Who me? I just wander from room to room. 26. And your crybaby whiny-ass opinion would be...? 27. Do I look like a people person? 28. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. 29. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left. 30. You!... Off my planet! 31. Does your train of thought have a caboose? 32. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. 33. A PBS mind in an MTV world. 34. Allow me to introduce my selves. 35. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed. 36. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. 37. Not all women are annoying. Some are dead. 38. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. 39. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. 40. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet 41. Can I trade this job for what's behind door one? 42. Too many freaks, not enough circuses. 43. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it? 44. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done. 45. How do I set a laser printer to stun? 46. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted the paychecks. 47. If I throw a stick, will you leave? 48. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythra Posted June 16, 2005 Author Share Posted June 16, 2005 #2 is my favorite. Here's a couple more I have PMS and a gun. Don't piss me off. or If I want your opinion, I'll give it to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BeeBee Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 Looks like time for another list PR 48 phrases we wish we could say at work 4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Dearest PR, It seems you have taken number four on your list to heart. As I have warned you; you are on my WATCH list. I do wish Tammy Faye would come here and fight her own battles. Where are you Tammy? Your last post of a list of 48 mildly amusing quips does leave me thinking that I could add just one more. #49 So much ammunition, so little time before my hair appointment. (You remind me so much of my hairdresser Pedro. I know you are both hell-bound, but leaving my coiffure to anyone that is not “touched in that way” is just plain foolish) I think number 20 (I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant) seems an appropriate place to start with you. Anyone who knows me personally could attest to the fact that my powers can only be used for good (#23). This is why I want you know that I do not hate you PR, just your sin (and they are mounting higher and higher by the minute). The power that I have is the power of persuasion. Jesus and I are very tight. If you ask me politely and with humility, I do have the power to ask Jesus to purge this sissy-boy demon from you and return you to full masculinity. Do you not desire to see a day where my very image makes your member (excuse the language please, I could not think of a nicer way to say it) stand at attention? I have friends in BASH (Baptists Are Saving Homosexuals) that can help you, but you must want to be helped first. (So close to Jesus, He is delaying the Rapture to allow my hair to grow out) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purple Rhino Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 Merry Meet Again BeeBee, Is Jesus Pedro or Pedro Jesus? Here you have a hairdesser> Dearest PR,...#49 So much ammunition, so little time before my hair appointment. (You remind me so much of my hairdresser Pedro. I know you are both hell-bound, but leaving my coiffure to anyone that is not “touched in that way” is just plain foolish) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> But here Jesus does your hair> At least one heathen on this forum acknowledges my impeccable coiffure. Jesus insists on helping me with it, (it’s hard to say no to the Lord) but I have to do it over again after he leaves. I think He has a “thing” for hair. ... <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Or is it simply that between dye, age and endless tapes of Falwell screaming like a schoolgirl in a brothel, that has taken their toll on your questionable grey matter? As for #4 on the list. I rather enjoy the freedom to humiliate myself in public. Actually I enjoy many activities in public that would probably straighten your short hairs. You see I have no restraints of a fictional headmaster that has nothing better to do than keep tabs on his lab rats. You see BeeBee you may be watching me but I know you. You're the lonely, shy little girl who was never good enough for daddy. The ugly girl everyone picked on in school. Always looking for a morsel of praise from anyone. Who ended up being bitter, while trying to be perfect. What you really want is to pull off those potato sack clothes, run to a sling and enjoy being the whore you pretend to be when the lights are out and vibrator is on. You stay on your knees and pray sweet BeeBee I'll just stay on mine and enjoy life. May your god give you everything you so richly deserve. PR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purple Rhino Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 ...If I want your opinion, I'll give it to you. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> That was so my father after he turned fundy LMAO PR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeathWorship Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 i want to snog betty bowers 12 ways sideways. uNF uNF uNF.. she can talk to god the whole time, that would turn me on.</perversion> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 Adding to the list of things I wish I could say at work: To my born-again, fundy cubemate: Please shut the f* up about god, and just do your work like a normal person! Do you see other Christians in the office here bringing up god in every conversation? Do you hear them calling up pastors or ordering books from Christian bookstores on the phone while they are supposed to be working? I don't. This is an office, not a church! Argh. Sorry, I just have to rant. But I'm getting sick of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purple Rhino Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 Adding to the list of things I wish I could say at work: To my born-again, fundy cubemate: Please shut the f* up about god, and just do your work like a normal person! Do you see other Christians in the office here bringing up god in every conversation? Do you hear them calling up pastors or ordering books from Christian bookstores on the phone while they are supposed to be working? I don't. This is an office, not a church! Argh. Sorry, I just have to rant. But I'm getting sick of it. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Nice to see that your christian workmate doesn't mind stealing from their employer by conducting personal business on the clock. It must be tough to live so hypocritically. PR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onyx Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 On the same topic, did anyone see the Exodus 34 topic started by A T Thunderbird? Crazy..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 Adding to the list of things I wish I could say at work: To my born-again, fundy cubemate: Please shut the f* up about god, and just do your work like a normal person! Do you see other Christians in the office here bringing up god in every conversation? Do you hear them calling up pastors or ordering books from Christian bookstores on the phone while they are supposed to be working? I don't. This is an office, not a church! Argh. Sorry, I just have to rant. But I'm getting sick of it. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Draw a picture of you beating his(?) brains out with a hammer, and tape it up on your cubewall. Include lots of blood and brains splattering. Then when he starts up, just look over at the drawing and sigh wistfully. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dame Edna Everage Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 Hellooooooooooooooooooo Possums!!!!!!!!!!!!! My My My!!!! What a delightful crowd!!! Years ago when I was a budding glamourpuss, the thing most Australian women wanted was “Poise”. They walked around with books on their heads, spoke in genteel tones, sipping their tea with their pinkie crooked. I was lucky: I had natural poise. When I was born my mother asked the nurse, as mothers did then, “what is it?”. “Poised” was the reply. And I have been poised ever since possums! You know, my mother has always said that there are no strangers!! Just friends you haven't met yet. She is now in a maximum security twilight home. I am in New York sleeping in another bed which was recently occupied by the Queen. Yes I am in the Royal Suite, and I still feel her fragrant presence. I even discovered under the bed, when I was looking for a dropped gem, a little stiff scrunched up Kleenex – a royal rosette if you will – probably chock-a-block with her royal DNA . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imageownershipproblem Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 I love your lists, PR! This resolution of mine to stop being quite such an Internet Junkie isn't going so well. Anywho, I clicked because I wanted to say: Earth to JP, Earth to JP, I'm an attention whore and you weren't giving me enough attention so I figured I'd shake things up a bit because I was feeling ignored. J/K Please check in? Everybody at ex-C isn't as tactless as my illustrious self. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 Draw a picture of you beating his(?) brains out with a hammer, and tape it up on your cubewall. Include lots of blood and brains splattering. Then when he starts up, just look over at the drawing and sigh wistfully. LOL. I wish I could do that, but I'd probably get fired then. Unfortunately, threatening our co-workers is against the rules. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onyx Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 Hello, dear. Haven't seen you a long time.... How's things? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dame Edna Everage Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 Hello, dear. Haven't seen you a long time....How's things? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Why things are just fantastic, my possum! Right now however I am poised on the brink of the most exciting adventure of my life: a new show premiering in San Francisco and shifting to Broadway in November. They have been without me on the Great White Way for over four years now and they're suffering from a severe case of EDS (Edna Depravation Syndrome). Broadway has not echoed with real laughter since I closed my sell-out show and hurried to my late husband's bedside. He wasn't in bed at the time, since he passed away over ten years ago, but a lot of Japanese tourists were milling about in what was once our bedroom in the now world famous Dame Edna museum located in our old home in the Melbourne suburb of Moonee Ponds. I didn't want too many curious tourists plucking at the pink chenille bedspread or fingering the pillow into which I sobbed long ago when I learnt of my husband's complex urological condition. It's funny to think that I left my New York possums wanting more in order to supervise a little laser “fence” built around my marital bed, but I am a sentimental woman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onyx Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 WEll, your husband must get better. I hope, you, Edna, get through this. It doesn't matter whether famous or not, I encourage people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purple Rhino Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 I love your lists, PR! This resolution of mine to stop being quite such an Internet Junkie isn't going so well. Anywho, I clicked because I wanted to say: Earth to JP, Earth to JP, I'm an attention whore and you weren't giving me enough attention so I figured I'd shake things up a bit because I was feeling ignored. J/K Please check in? Everybody at ex-C isn't as tactless as my illustrious self. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Glad you enjoy 'em! Unlike some of the bitchy Bees we have here LOL. And there are worse things than being an internet junkie. But they escape me at the moment! Enjoy your attention! ! PR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveL Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 Oh no! The incarnations and alter ego's are hijacking this thread. I'm not sure who I am anymore. No different to the trinity really. I bet you can't beat Troy's 26 incarnations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onyx Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 I have, some where in my KIFC thread. Over 30. Just joking! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 LOL. I wish I could do that, but I'd probably get fired then. Unfortunately, threatening our co-workers is against the rules. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Well, try these.... Keep a dry erase board or norepad handy. Keep track of everytime he says God or Jesus. Like mark the time and day, or use hashmarks. If he asks about it, go "Oh, nothing...." and change the subject. Just stare at him. Expressionlessly. When he's going on about god, pull out a bookmarked copy of Final Exit, read, glance at him, and sigh. Act normal, like its an everyday conversation, but take out a bottle of some nausea-curing medicine and take a good dose (substitute colored water, of course). While he's going on, peer closely at him. Then brush your finger on your face, like your telling him to wipe off a bit of something, everytime he does, do it again, but an inch off. I wonder why people call me "Crazy Joe".... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 Keep a dry erase board or norepad handy. Keep track of everytime he says God or Jesus. Like mark the time and day, or use hashmarks. If he asks about it, go "Oh, nothing...." and change the subject. That may be an interesting experiment for my live journal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 That may be an interesting experiment for my live journal. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Hey, you like the idea so much you posted twice.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JP1283 Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 I love ice cream. Right now I'm eating Ben & Jerry's Vanilla Caramel Fudge. My gawd I'm in heaven. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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