I Repent

[Guest Perfect Insanity]

Your goals are your goals but many times the goals we set for ourselves are not healthy. For instance, I tried to be the bestest wife I could. To a man that didn't know gold when it was in his hand. An impossible goal and now that I look back on it, a very unhealthy goal. Goals are okay but if you only set your sights on goals you may well miss all that is around you. You may become so focused on certain goals that you don't realize there are other goals available.

 

I won't settle for small goals, I need to shoot for the biggest goals that are within reach... "impossible" or not. Maybe they're impossible now, but I'd rather work towards them and reach them than to settle for less.

 

When I said maybe find a meetup group I didn't mean for humanists I meant for people with OCD or some other emotional support group.

 

I know. There are only six groups period within 50 miles of my area. The group for freethinkers was the closest thing.

 

You are too young to have been much of a failure. You have many more miles to travel. I think, in the end, you will find that your journey has been amazing and well worth the trip. Taking a side road or two doesn't make you a failure.

 

My whole life has been a failure. I blew it in school, I lived part of my years with barely any social life, I'm not good at anything, as a kid I was a wuss, as a young teen I was socially awkward and weird, now as a young adult I'm mentally unstable, I've never been in a relationship, I'm selfish and lack the ability to love, I'm weak and cowardly when life calls for aggression and I'm overly forceful and aggressive when it calls for gentleness. I act like a stupid jackass and I hate every second of it. Hearing myself talk, watching myself act, seeing my face in the mirror, all of that burns me up with rage inside, because I hate it. I hate this person. I'm overly analytical and obsess over stupid shit that doesn't matter. I have small, reasonable goals, and I've failed at every one of them. I've never succeeded at anything in my life. I always failed. At every point in my life, I can pinpoint failure. Nowhere can I find any success. If I merely go out in public and watch people, it pisses me off. Because in everyone else's success, I see my own failure. I see their lives, and I see what I could have been. There's not enough room in my mind to properly express my thoughts on this. With every problem, there is something getting in the way of that. With every potential solution, there's a reason why it won't work. Thinking about who I am boils me up with anger. Because I know exactly what I am, and exactly what I'm not.

[Guest Perfect Insanity]

It was said earlier in this thread that repentance implies change of behavior. That's true.

 

My repentance is counterfeit.

[Guest I Love Dog]

 

My whole life has been a failure. I blew it in school, I lived part of my years with barely any social life, I'm not good at anything, as a kid I was a wuss, as a young teen I was socially awkward and weird, now as a young adult I'm mentally unstable, I've never been in a relationship, I'm selfish and lack the ability to love, I'm weak and cowardly when life calls for aggression and I'm overly forceful and aggressive when it calls for gentleness. I act like a stupid jackass and I hate every second of it. Hearing myself talk, watching myself act, seeing my face in the mirror, all of that burns me up with rage inside, because I hate it. I hate this person. I'm overly analytical and obsess over stupid shit that doesn't matter. I have small, reasonable goals, and I've failed at every one of them. I've never succeeded at anything in my life. I always failed. At every point in my life, I can pinpoint failure. Nowhere can I find any success. If I merely go out in public and watch people, it pisses me off. Because in everyone else's success, I see my own failure. I see their lives, and I see what I could have been. There's not enough room in my mind to properly express my thoughts on this. With every problem, there is something getting in the way of that. With every potential solution, there's a reason why it won't work. Thinking about who I am boils me up with anger. Because I know exactly what I am, and exactly what I'm not.

 

Man, you are so much more "normal"(whatever that is!) than you think. Much of what you say is me when I was young. I didn't have the religious parent problem, I was the religious one. Music was always my saving grace, I started playing in bands when I was 13 and always have until recently(I just play at home now. I was "weird", 'cos I was tall and lanky, girls laughed at me behind my back 'cos I was "slow"(I never put my hands in their shirt or down their panties), I had "respect" for girls/women), and suffered for it. I felt like a moron most of the time, could never understand why I was like I was, up and down, did stupid things, etc. etc. But it all changed over time

 

You've obviously got a lotta baggage that you don't wanna talk about on here. If you wanna talk, then p.m. me. I'd be more than happy to talk things through, try and sort some things for you.

 

I'm an old guy now, but I'm experienced. Done just about everything except drugs, which never interested me.

[renoliz]

Your goals are your goals but many times the goals we set for ourselves are not healthy. For instance, I tried to be the bestest wife I could. To a man that didn't know gold when it was in his hand. An impossible goal and now that I look back on it, a very unhealthy goal. Goals are okay but if you only set your sights on goals you may well miss all that is around you. You may become so focused on certain goals that you don't realize there are other goals available.

 

I won't settle for small goals, I need to shoot for the biggest goals that are within reach... "impossible" or not. Maybe they're impossible now, but I'd rather work towards them and reach them than to settle for less.

 

When I said maybe find a meetup group I didn't mean for humanists I meant for people with OCD or some other emotional support group.

 

I know. There are only six groups period within 50 miles of my area. The group for freethinkers was the closest thing.

 

You are too young to have been much of a failure. You have many more miles to travel. I think, in the end, you will find that your journey has been amazing and well worth the trip. Taking a side road or two doesn't make you a failure.

 

My whole life has been a failure. I blew it in school, I lived part of my years with barely any social life, I'm not good at anything, as a kid I was a wuss, as a young teen I was socially awkward and weird, now as a young adult I'm mentally unstable, I've never been in a relationship, I'm selfish and lack the ability to love, I'm weak and cowardly when life calls for aggression and I'm overly forceful and aggressive when it calls for gentleness. I act like a stupid jackass and I hate every second of it. Hearing myself talk, watching myself act, seeing my face in the mirror, all of that burns me up with rage inside, because I hate it. I hate this person. I'm overly analytical and obsess over stupid shit that doesn't matter. I have small, reasonable goals, and I've failed at every one of them. I've never succeeded at anything in my life. I always failed. At every point in my life, I can pinpoint failure. Nowhere can I find any success. If I merely go out in public and watch people, it pisses me off. Because in everyone else's success, I see my own failure. I see their lives, and I see what I could have been. There's not enough room in my mind to properly express my thoughts on this. With every problem, there is something getting in the way of that. With every potential solution, there's a reason why it won't work. Thinking about who I am boils me up with anger. Because I know exactly what I am, and exactly what I'm not.

 

Welcome to the real world. All those people you see are not all as successful as you think. You are more "normal" than you think. I, too, was awkward and had few friends. People who knew me when I was younger said I think too much. I was more depressed than angry because I didn't even think I had the right to be angry about my situation. If you talk about it you will start sorting your life out.

[Phanta]

All the people I know who looked like they had awesome amazing lives on first glance have tons of problems going on. They cope different, especially regarding how they present or view themselves and their problems. The internal experience of even very similar problems varies.

 

Do you have real problems? Sure. But you're not driving the bus of life, nor are you getting dragged in the dirt off the back fender. You're just another bozo on the bus.

 

Phanta

 

p.s. - Your comment about terminal cancer patients reminds me of a book called "The Butterfly and the Diving Bell, about a man with locked-in syndrome who managed to write his memoir by blinking his eye. He describes his attitude and experiences of joy in a pretty whacked situation which terminated in his death a few days after the book's publication.

[Guest Perfect Insanity]

You've obviously got a lotta baggage that you don't wanna talk about on here. If you wanna talk, then p.m. me. I'd be more than happy to talk things through, try and sort some things for you.

 

I appreciate it.

 

If you talk about it you will start sorting your life out.

 

What more can I say?

 

 

Do you have real problems? Sure. But you're not driving the bus of life, nor are you getting dragged in the dirt off the back fender. You're just another bozo on the bus.

 

That's part of the problem.

[Guest Valk0010]

I have a hard time believing that a person you age is as much as a failure as you say you are, unless your somehow focusing only on the bad.

[Guest Valk0010]

 

Be honest.... does that answer really make any sense? Is that really something that a person can base a firm belief on?

 

Who really knows for 100 percent certainty, anything. You usually are lucky to have reasonable certainty. If you don't see enough of a reason to believe in a theistic god, don't be a theist. I don't know if there is a god, I just haven't seen enough of a reason to believe in a theistic one.

[Guest Perfect Insanity]

I have a hard time believing that a person you age is as much as a failure as you say you are, unless your somehow focusing only on the bad.

 

In my eyes, yes. There is no good to focus on.

[renoliz]

Just chicking in on you PI. I truly wish you would go to the local mental health clinic and see if you can find some therapy that will help you. At least read some positive uplifting material.

 

I know one good thing about you. You write well.

[Guest Perfect Insanity]

Just chicking in on you PI. I truly wish you would go to the local mental health clinic and see if you can find some therapy that will help you. At least read some positive uplifting material.

 

There are none in this town. The psychiatrist I saw before is located 45 minutes away. I sincerely doubt that there are any non-religious therapists/counselors anywhere close. I didn't originally know this, as I was sent to him by a neurologist, but the shrink that I saw was a Christian. I don't have a problem with that, as long as they keep their own beliefs to themselves in the office. I could tell that if I really opened up as much as I had planned on doing, that wouldn't have happened. I kept myself from saying a lot that I was originally going to say.

 

I know one good thing about you. You write well.

 

Thank you. In the long run, though, that's not going to get me very far.

[Guest Perfect Insanity]

On ocfoundation.info, it shows only three results within 100 miles of my town. None of which are in my state. The closest is 81 miles away.

[renoliz]

I added you as a friend so you can find me. Why don't you consider sending me a personal message so we can get to know each other better. I am wondering about you. Do you live out in the country? How old are you? Stuff like that. Since you might not want to put that out in public, maybe you could PM me. Just try to be patient for me to get back to you when you do send me a personal message. I am married and I have a schedule to stay on. Okay?

 

I don't have any ulterior motives and I am not pretending I can fix your life. I just think it would be nice to find out more about you. If you don't think that is a good idea then don't do it. No pressure.

 

It is really rough when you live out in the country and it can be difficult to access health services of any type. There is the internet. Also, have you considered or tried relaxation techniques. You can get a cd or dvd and it will teach you how to relax. I should do that one myself.

[Guest Perfect Insanity]

For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given, and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace.

 

Isaiah 9:6

 

 

How do you explain this?

[Guest Perfect Insanity]

To hell with everything, fuck it all. I don't need friends, I don't need relationships, I don't need love, I don't need peace, I don't need happiness, I don't need purpose, I don't need help, I don't need a crutch, I don't need a god, I don't need a religion, I don't need a life, I don't need a future, I don't need anything, I don't need anyone. Fuck it all. To hell with it.

[Guest Valk0010]

 

 

How do you explain this?

If i recall, the jews still look a messiah. Its obviously wouldn't be a women and those that believed jesus was the mesdiah would use language like prince of peace to describe him. That doesn't mean jesus deserved the title its just same words innaccurately attributed.

[Ouroboros]

For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given, and the government shall be upon his shoulder:

Is the government upon Jesus's shoulders? I didn't know. I thought our government was upon the shoulders of our representative elected.

 

and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace.

Christians picked that for him. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy. They wanted him to be the Messiah from the OT, so they made him such.

 

 

Isaiah 9:6

 

 

How do you explain this?

The explanation is that the early Christians made Jesus to be the one filling the position as the Messiah in Isaiah.

 

Imagine that you are born and raised in a religious community. In that community you have some prophesies about a future king. One day you meet a sage, a skilled and talented orator, who gives you religious advice. You become infatuated in his teachings, and the followers in several generations after revere him greatly. Some suggests that he is the one who fulfilled the "future king" prophecy, and the followers start to fill in blanks, making up stories to fit this sage with the prophecy.

 

How does that make the sage a fulfillment of the prophecy?

 

There has been several Jewish "Messiah" through history, but only the Jesus version won out. Not because of it's truth, but because of the church that reiterated and prolonged the idea.

[Guest Valk0010]

Btw alot of jews if I recall during jesus time, though the messiah was going to save them from the romans. Makes the line about goverment make more sense the the stuff jesus did.

[Ouroboros]

Btw alot of jews if I recall during jesus time, though the messiah was going to save them from the romans. Makes the line about goverment make more sense the the stuff jesus did.

Yup. That's what I've learned too. My understanding (it could be wrong) is that the zealots were a Jewish cult that believed the Messiah would come and fight the Romans, and recreate Israel's glory. And my understanding is also that Barnabas, the guy who got released instead of Jesus, was a zealot. The zealots were pretty much insurgents and terrorists. It's not a new phenomenon.

[Guest Perfect Insanity]

That verse calls the messiah God.

[Ouroboros]

That verse calls the messiah God.

The Hebrew word 'el can also be translated "the mighty one" (like a warrior king).

 

The choice of translating it to "God" was a choice of the translators, not necessarily the intended meaning of the author.

 

In Isaiah 57:5, 'el is translated "idols." Why?

 

" Enflaming yourselves with idols under every green tree, slaying the children in the valleys under the clifts of the rocks?"

[Guest Valk0010]

Ignore the government part you would have an arguement. Its prophecy, its all or nothing, it all has to fit.

[Guest Perfect Insanity]

That verse calls the messiah God.

The Hebrew word 'el can also be translated "the mighty one" (like a warrior king).

 

The choice of translating it to "God" was a choice of the translators, not necessarily the intended meaning of the author.

 

In Isaiah 57:5, 'el is translated "idols." Why?

 

" Enflaming yourselves with idols under every green tree, slaying the children in the valleys under the clifts of the rocks?"

 

Why shouldn't it be translated "idols"? Does "el" generally mean something else? I'm sure you understand the context a lot better than I do.

 

EDIT: Disregard that, I'm stupid. I just now noticed that you were talking about the same word Hebrew word in both verses.

[Guest Perfect Insanity]

Ignore the government part you would have an arguement. Its prophecy, its all or nothing, it all has to fit.

 

I don't see the problem. If someone is God, of course the government is gonna be on their shoulder.

[Guest Valk0010]

Ignore the government part you would have an arguement. Its prophecy, its all or nothing, it all has to fit.

 

I don't see the problem. If someone is God, of course the government is gonna be on their shoulder.

Is jesus a politician? He never at least in my perspective taken government on his shoulders. This is a prophecy for jesus being the messiah right? And what government anyway, the roman government, president obama, what government.

 

If your looking for jesus prophecy in the OT you should find a direct correlation to the NT.