owen652 Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 "God is on the throne in North Carolina! ." yuck. I'm not goin in there after him. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdaddy Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 Funny how many atheists from NC we have here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjessen Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 An acquaintance of mine posted this in a group and it came up on my feed: "Oh Jesus! I am literally on the floor and overwhelmed by His presence while reading all of these testimonies. God is doing something amazing in North Carolina! I'm so glad I got to come down and meet everyone and let God do His thing! Anthem was the birth of something great in Gastonia and I'm so excited to see where God takes this as you lay everything down to let Him move in your city. Bless the Lord oh my soul and let all that is within me shout out!" And then he subsequently updated his status with this: "God is on the throne in North Carolina! It has been such a great weekend of worship and prayer. Go God." Yes, go God As if, if He really existed, he needs an "attaboy" Yeah, Christians are always looking for the next great move of the Spirit and thinking they see it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GardenerGal Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 "Anyone can make an ugly face and utter a heavy, frustrated sigh over a little mishap. Christians are called to be better than that, to live ABOVE the petty responses we so often encounter in the world." Don't call my face ugly! This is a young girl who has not experienced much in the world. She posts stuff like this all the time. But the most annoying person on my fb feed is a lazy bitter Catholic/athiest? He tends to sway. I just want to say PICK A SIDE ALREADY AND get off your fat butt and stop judging those who are just trying to figure things out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 "Anyone can make an ugly face and utter a heavy, frustrated sigh over a little mishap. Christians are called to be better than that, to live ABOVE the petty responses we so often encounter in the world." ...petty responses we so often encounter in the world church. I have found the world to be a very pleasant place full of kindness! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akheia Posted May 29, 2012 Share Posted May 29, 2012 The church trains its members to expect ugliness and evil all from "the world," but the worst ugliness and evil I ever saw came from church members and leaders. By contrast, I've found the world to be a very open, accepting place in a lot of ways. You're absolutely right, Positivist. As long as Christians are trained to think that they'll be devoured alive by the evil outside their circled wagons, it'll be that much harder for them to think straight about the idiocy they are force-fed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marmot Posted May 29, 2012 Share Posted May 29, 2012 A friend posted his most recent update to his blog on facebook. Ever the self masochist, I checked it out. (does anyone else have a rash of friends in ministry positions posting their religious babble on Facebook?) He apparently things that Song of Solomon is talking about Christ. It almost sounds Smeagol-esque at the end: "Song of Solomon 1:13a says that a bundle of myrrh is my beloved. There is so much of Christ for all of our needs that we’ll never run out. A bundle is an understatement. Christ must be as precious to us as myrrh was in in the time of Solomon. Not to be lost or dropped on the floor, but stored and kept. We must value Him as our best treasure; we must prize His words. The bundle of myrrh is my everything. It’s precious. Solomon is comparing the value of the bundle to the value of Christ’s love." I looked up Song of Solomon 1:13a, and laughed when I saw the "b" part of 1:13. The whole verse says, " A bundle of myrrh is my well beloved unto me; he shall lie all night betwixt my breasts. Now how the hell did he get Christ out of that? Or am I just blind? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thought2Much Posted May 29, 2012 Share Posted May 29, 2012 A friend posted his most recent update to his blog on facebook. Ever the self masochist, I checked it out. (does anyone else have a rash of friends in ministry positions posting their religious babble on Facebook?) He apparently things that Song of Solomon is talking about Christ. It almost sounds Smeagol-esque at the end: "Song of Solomon 1:13a says that a bundle of myrrh is my beloved. There is so much of Christ for all of our needs that we’ll never run out. A bundle is an understatement. Christ must be as precious to us as myrrh was in in the time of Solomon. Not to be lost or dropped on the floor, but stored and kept. We must value Him as our best treasure; we must prize His words. The bundle of myrrh is my everything. It’s precious. Solomon is comparing the value of the bundle to the value of Christ’s love." I looked up Song of Solomon 1:13a, and laughed when I saw the "b" part of 1:13. The whole verse says, " A bundle of myrrh is my well beloved unto me; he shall lie all night betwixt my breasts. Now how the hell did he get Christ out of that? Or am I just blind? Well, I guess it kind of ties in with the whole "sex with Jesus" thing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
★ Citsonga ★ Posted May 29, 2012 Share Posted May 29, 2012 A friend posted his most recent update to his blog on facebook. Ever the self masochist, I checked it out. (does anyone else have a rash of friends in ministry positions posting their religious babble on Facebook?) He apparently things that Song of Solomon is talking about Christ. It almost sounds Smeagol-esque at the end: "Song of Solomon 1:13a says that a bundle of myrrh is my beloved. There is so much of Christ for all of our needs that we’ll never run out. A bundle is an understatement. Christ must be as precious to us as myrrh was in in the time of Solomon. Not to be lost or dropped on the floor, but stored and kept. We must value Him as our best treasure; we must prize His words. The bundle of myrrh is my everything. It’s precious. Solomon is comparing the value of the bundle to the value of Christ’s love." I looked up Song of Solomon 1:13a, and laughed when I saw the "b" part of 1:13. The whole verse says, " A bundle of myrrh is my well beloved unto me; he shall lie all night betwixt my breasts. Now how the hell did he get Christ out of that? Or am I just blind? Haha! That is hilarious! It's funny how Christians accuse nonbelievers of taking things out of context, when in reality it's Christians themselves who are the most guilty of it. By the way, something that stood out to me was the claim that "Christ" is to be "stored and kept." So, I guess Christians aren't supposed to share Christ anymore. Wouldn't it be great if they would abide by that? No more cramming their religion down our throats! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eugene39 Posted May 29, 2012 Share Posted May 29, 2012 A bundle of myrrh is my well beloved unto me; he shall lie all night betwixt my breasts. Now how the hell did he get Christ out of that? Or am I just blind? No, you're fine. He's just plain stupid!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjessen Posted May 29, 2012 Share Posted May 29, 2012 Oh man, this is sort of a rant. I am so sick of this one "friend" who is constantly putting Bible verses on her status and Christian song lyrics. Just recently she said how she loves God for his kindness and that she didn't think she would love him if he weren't so kind. Part of me wants to find some Bible verses to show her how un-kind the Bible said he was. Maybe I'll start a thread on that so I can start posting things of my own from the Bible...Ha! Wouldn't that be funny. Start posting these crazy things from the Bible. OMG, I love it, just might do that. Am feeling better now! Thanks for listening. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackpudd1n Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 Oh man, this is sort of a rant. I am so sick of this one "friend" who is constantly putting Bible verses on her status and Christian song lyrics. Just recently she said how she loves God for his kindness and that she didn't think she would love him if he weren't so kind. Part of me wants to find some Bible verses to show her how un-kind the Bible said he was. Maybe I'll start a thread on that so I can start posting things of my own from the Bible...Ha! Wouldn't that be funny. Start posting these crazy things from the Bible. OMG, I love it, just might do that. Am feeling better now! Thanks for listening. lol I would love to see that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marmot Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 Oh man, this is sort of a rant. I am so sick of this one "friend" who is constantly putting Bible verses on her status and Christian song lyrics. Just recently she said how she loves God for his kindness and that she didn't think she would love him if he weren't so kind. Part of me wants to find some Bible verses to show her how un-kind the Bible said he was. Maybe I'll start a thread on that so I can start posting things of my own from the Bible...Ha! Wouldn't that be funny. Start posting these crazy things from the Bible. OMG, I love it, just might do that. Am feeling better now! Thanks for listening. Ask her to take a quick perusal of the book of Joshua. That one gets me every time I start questioning. "Joshua completely destroyed the city and everyone in it. They hung the king on a tree outside. Then they moved on to the next city and did the same thing. There were no survivors. Copy/Paste for about 4-5 more cities." Uh...God? A little bloodthirsty, are we? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marmot Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 A friend posted his most recent update to his blog on facebook. Ever the self masochist, I checked it out. (does anyone else have a rash of friends in ministry positions posting their religious babble on Facebook?) He apparently things that Song of Solomon is talking about Christ. It almost sounds Smeagol-esque at the end: "Song of Solomon 1:13a says that a bundle of myrrh is my beloved. There is so much of Christ for all of our needs that we’ll never run out. A bundle is an understatement. Christ must be as precious to us as myrrh was in in the time of Solomon. Not to be lost or dropped on the floor, but stored and kept. We must value Him as our best treasure; we must prize His words. The bundle of myrrh is my everything. It’s precious. Solomon is comparing the value of the bundle to the value of Christ’s love." I looked up Song of Solomon 1:13a, and laughed when I saw the "b" part of 1:13. The whole verse says, " A bundle of myrrh is my well beloved unto me; he shall lie all night betwixt my breasts. Now how the hell did he get Christ out of that? Or am I just blind? Haha! That is hilarious! It's funny how Christians accuse nonbelievers of taking things out of context, when in reality it's Christians themselves who are the most guilty of it. By the way, something that stood out to me was the claim that "Christ" is to be "stored and kept." So, I guess Christians aren't supposed to share Christ anymore. Wouldn't it be great if they would abide by that? No more cramming their religion down our throats! Yup, they take anything they can out of context and twist it to fit their needs. Stored and kept...not gonna let anyone else have a look see at it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marmot Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 Well, I guess it kind of ties in with the whole "sex with Jesus" thing... Let's play a game: Making worship or whoopee? 1.Come Lord Jesus Come! 2. I feel like moving to the rhythm of Your grace Your fragrance is intoxicating in our secret place Your love is extravagant 3. More? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 A friend posted his most recent update to his blog on facebook. Ever the self masochist, I checked it out. (does anyone else have a rash of friends in ministry positions posting their religious babble on Facebook?) He apparently things that Song of Solomon is talking about Christ. It almost sounds Smeagol-esque at the end: "Song of Solomon 1:13a says that a bundle of myrrh is my beloved. There is so much of Christ for all of our needs that we’ll never run out. A bundle is an understatement. Christ must be as precious to us as myrrh was in in the time of Solomon. Not to be lost or dropped on the floor, but stored and kept. We must value Him as our best treasure; we must prize His words. The bundle of myrrh is my everything. It’s precious. Solomon is comparing the value of the bundle to the value of Christ’s love." I looked up Song of Solomon 1:13a, and laughed when I saw the "b" part of 1:13. The whole verse says, " A bundle of myrrh is my well beloved unto me; he shall lie all night betwixt my breasts. Now how the hell did he get Christ out of that? Or am I just blind? Well, I guess it kind of ties in with the whole "sex with Jesus" thing... BOOBIES! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
owen652 Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 A friend posted his most recent update to his blog on facebook. Ever the self masochist, I checked it out. (does anyone else have a rash of friends in ministry positions posting their religious babble on Facebook?) He apparently things that Song of Solomon is talking about Christ. It almost sounds Smeagol-esque at the end: "Song of Solomon 1:13a says that a bundle of myrrh is my beloved. There is so much of Christ for all of our needs that we’ll never run out. A bundle is an understatement. Christ must be as precious to us as myrrh was in in the time of Solomon. Not to be lost or dropped on the floor, but stored and kept. We must value Him as our best treasure; we must prize His words. The bundle of myrrh is my everything. It’s precious. Solomon is comparing the value of the bundle to the value of Christ’s love." I looked up Song of Solomon 1:13a, and laughed when I saw the "b" part of 1:13. The whole verse says, " A bundle of myrrh is my well beloved unto me; he shall lie all night betwixt my breasts. Now how the hell did he get Christ out of that? Or am I just blind? the thing i noticed with preachers is that, being beholden as they are to come up with a sermon every week (except for when they recycle them from three years ago, fooling no-one), they start to get pretty desperate for relevant metaphors and are more than willing to draw extremely long bows. they must sit around at home going, 'shit, it's friday already? what can i do this week? Um... the kingdom is God is like a.. a.. a toaster. No, that's crap. The Holy Spirit is like...like.. uh.. Dr Phil. No, no, no... FUCK!' 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stryper Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 the thing i noticed with preachers is that, being beholden as they are to come up with a sermon every week (except for when they recycle them from three years ago, fooling no-one), they start to get pretty desperate for relevant metaphors and are more than willing to draw extremely long bows. they must sit around at home going, 'shit, it's friday already? what can i do this week? Um... the kingdom is God is like a.. a.. a toaster. No, that's crap. The Holy Spirit is like...like.. uh.. Dr Phil. No, no, no... FUCK!' I love the part about how the pastor comes up with the sermon. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ope-1Zb5t-k EDIT: since I can't ping youtube from work....copying the link from google apparently fails as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akheia Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 I've met quite a few fundies who thought they were awesome at making "allegories" (I think they meant "metaphors"), but I've never met one who actually could manage even a decent one. FB Christian... seriously, that has got to be one of the most annoying type of person ever--thanking God that he miraculously gave them a perfect-temperature latte while God-fearing women are being splashed with acid in the Middle East. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjessen Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 FB Christian... seriously, that has got to be one of the most annoying type of person ever--thanking God that he miraculously gave them a perfect-temperature latte while God-fearing women are being splashed with acid in the Middle East. Oh, that just burns me! You are so right. Here we are with everything we need and more and people are relying on God for help and they don't get it. Then when stuff like that happens (like the women getting hurt), it is the person's fault or part of some "better" plan. Bullshit! It's all bullshit. A person's faith is good enough and there is no better plan, a person's pain is not part of a better plan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hazelline Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 Well, I guess it kind of ties in with the whole "sex with Jesus" thing... 2. I feel like moving to the rhythm of Your grace Your fragrance is intoxicating in our secret place Your love is extravagant Heh, I used to like that song when I was a Christian. Thought it was really pretty. I still kind of find the melody pretty, but the subject matter... yeesh. Anyway your post made me laugh out loud - the whole intimacy with Jesus thing in Christianity is downright creepy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilcoppertop Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 Just saw this one tonight: "You know your mind's renewed when the impossible looks logical." Bill Johnson Forgive me for asking but......wouldn't that indicate something's wrong in your head? 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedStar Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 "You know your mind's renewed when the impossible looks logical." Bill Johnson Hmm, I can fix Bill's quote: "You know your mind's ruined when the impossible looks logical." Bill Johnson 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akheia Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 It's not FB, but holy fucking cow. On a gaming board, of all places, I'm noticing more and more that the resident older ladies are trying their best to skirt the mods' rule that religion is not to be discussed. That means no prayer requests, no giving thanks to the lawd, none of that crap. So they're saying, instead, "I'll pr*y for you!" and the like. I heart them, but I don't come to a gaming board to hear church-speak. The latest big blowup: one lady had an accident and posted how blessed she was that it hadn't been worse, and all the others are pr*ying for her. I'm holding myself back, I'm grabbing my hands and thinking "I'll just come to ex-C and bitch about it--she's just a nice old gal who doesn't realize that the real blessing would have been to grab her arm before she fell and keep her from falling at all," but one more outburst and I think I will have to (in my subtle and oh so delicate way) remind folks that Christian privilege isn't welcome there. They've probably got a billion other forums to spew ignorant crap--why do they have to shit up EVERYTHING? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scriptor Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 "A low view of Jesus keeps us trapped in spiritual boredom. Besides condemnation, the most dangerous thing [in a sincere Christian's life] is spiritual boredom." ~ Mike Bickle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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