Things Fundies Say On Facebook

[Lucy]

 

"If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it! Share if you agree!!!"

 

 

 

Does dying count as bringing you through it?

[Guest Furball]

Of course he has a finite mind, he is worshiping the thin air. Hey asshole, there is no one there, get up and go do something productive with your life.

 

 

[★ Citsonga ★]

"If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it! Share if you agree!!!"

 

That's similar to a saying I used to occasionally pull out: "If it's God's will, God will." It seemed profound at the time, but now I cringe at how shallow it is.

[violetbutterfly]

Okay, I'm cheating because I don't have facebook but I stumbled across this looking for something else and it doesn't even deserve it's own thread. But it's totally some shit some fundie would post on facebook so I put it here.

 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-life/11390228/Stephen-Fry-and-his-atheist-flock-be-damned-I-believe-in-God.html

 

I love the comments too. My favorite:

 

Stephen Fry, and those who reject God, are responsible for the suffering of the innocent, starting with God in the person of Christ suffering torture and death so that the guilty may be given the chance to repent and avoid final damnation (in which they totally reject God). This is in the Bible, it's inexcusable that Fry attack religion without havng properly read up.

 

God made man perfect and in a paradise. God never intended anyone to suffer. But now that souls risk eternal damnation: in the light of God's love, the innocent would choose to come here to suffer in order to save the wicked from their deserved fate.

 

Just shut up.

[Ravenstar]

 

my fundie friend:

 

I am not a decendant of an ape but a decendant of a man named Adam who was created by the image of God in either 4004 BC or 200,000 years ago.

 

 

they started pulling out random number out of their a**hole since 6000 is no longer convincing?

 

 

my fundie evanglist : If I had been to the secular (non-religious) University in North America, I would have been difficulty in getting along with classmates. Although there will not be a bulling accompanied by physical violence or verbal abuse there, the chances that I will be isolated from the community due to my adherence to the Word of God. Thanks God for placing me on a good Christian University in North America.

 

one of the response: How are you going to be a missionary if you can't get along with non-Christians?

 

 

 

Although I highly respect MLK (Martin Luther King, personally, I am more interested in the Evangelism of Graham than the Civil Rights Movement of MLK, because Graham boldly preached Christian Gospel in front of the thousands of people and brought them into the eternal relationship with Lord Jesus Christ.

That is why I am an Evangelical Christian instead of social-oriented one.  

 

It's not random at all… that's the time frame that Sitchin claims was when the Annunaki created man from our primate forbears to mine gold in southern Africa. (though they probably aren't aware of it - it's been floating around the new age people for quite a while)

 

All hail EN.KI, Ninhursag and the birth goddesses!

 

sheesh

[FarflungWanderer]

I can't take the stupid.

 

Anyone think we should make a "Douchebag Fundie" meme, like the "Douchebag Dave" one? I think it'd be fun.

[francesco]

 

 

"If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it! Share if you agree!!!"

 

 

 

Does dying count as bringing you through it?

some other examples

1. it was adam and eve not adam and steve

2. We are saved by faith alone but not by a faith that is alone

it have to be true, after all it rhymes

[waitingongod]

Had this morning.

 

Wife shared an article with me on Facebook about atheist parenting.  I knew it would be a bad idea, but what the hell, it might be fun.

 

Didn't take long.

 

My brother: nonsense (that was the entire useful post).

MIL: Just got this in my newsfeed....You don't believe in god?

Wife: It was just a discussion we were having.

MIL: Whatever, it's none of my business what you believe.

ME:  The downside of sharing on facebook is losing the context.  My attempt to cushion the concerns of family members.

 

There's a little more to it than that, but it was interesting to see the initial responses.

 

This was a good testing of the waters to see the fallout of actually being honest with family.

[Guest Furball]

 

 

 

"If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it! Share if you agree!!!"

 

 

 

Does dying count as bringing you through it?

some other examples

1. it was adam and eve not adam and steve

2. We are saved by faith alone but not by a faith that is alone

it have to be true, after all it rhymes

 

How you are not saved by works, yet without works you cannot be saved.

The one thing that drove me insane with the bible is the "which is it" game. I know there are some here who know exactly what i am talking about.

[francesco]

 

 

 

 

"If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it! Share if you agree!!!"

 

 

 

Does dying count as bringing you through it?

some other examples

1. it was adam and eve not adam and steve

2. We are saved by faith alone but not by a faith that is alone

it have to be true, after all it rhymes

 

How you are not saved by works, yet without works you cannot be saved.

The one thing that drove me insane with the bible is the "which is it" game. I know there are some here who know exactly what i am talking about.

 

hey I don't care if it's true or not as long as it's rhyme

[Castiel233]

 

 

 

 

 

"If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it! Share if you agree!!!"

 

 

 

Does dying count as bringing you through it?

some other examples

1. it was adam and eve not adam and steve

2. We are saved by faith alone but not by a faith that is alone

it have to be true, after all it rhymes

 

How you are not saved by works, yet without works you cannot be saved.

The one thing that drove me insane with the bible is the "which is it" game. I know there are some here who know exactly what i am talking about.

 

hey I don't care if it's true or not as long as it's rhyme

 

 

 

 

 

 

"If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it! Share if you agree!!!"

 

 

 

Does dying count as bringing you through it?

some other examples

1. it was adam and eve not adam and steve

2. We are saved by faith alone but not by a faith that is alone

it have to be true, after all it rhymes

 

How you are not saved by works, yet without works you cannot be saved.

The one thing that drove me insane with the bible is the "which is it" game. I know there are some here who know exactly what i am talking about.

 

You are saved by works and faith, unless the works is hard and unpleasant and then its faith alone ..... : )

[rerics]

I can't take the stupid.

 

Anyone think we should make a "Douchebag Fundie" meme, like the "Douchebag Dave" one? I think it'd be fun.

 

 

I can see the TV ad now:

 

"Hi, I'm Rob Lowe, and I have Direct TV."

 

"Hi, I'm Douchebag Fundie Rob Lowe, and I have cable."

[Guest Furball]

 

 

 

 

 

 

"If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it! Share if you agree!!!"

 

 

 

Does dying count as bringing you through it?

some other examples

1. it was adam and eve not adam and steve

2. We are saved by faith alone but not by a faith that is alone

it have to be true, after all it rhymes

 

How you are not saved by works, yet without works you cannot be saved.

The one thing that drove me insane with the bible is the "which is it" game. I know there are some here who know exactly what i am talking about.

 

hey I don't care if it's true or not as long as it's rhyme

 

 

 

 

 

 

"If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it! Share if you agree!!!"

 

 

 

Does dying count as bringing you through it?

some other examples

1. it was adam and eve not adam and steve

2. We are saved by faith alone but not by a faith that is alone

it have to be true, after all it rhymes

 

How you are not saved by works, yet without works you cannot be saved.

The one thing that drove me insane with the bible is the "which is it" game. I know there are some here who know exactly what i am talking about.

 

You are saved by works and faith, unless the works is hard and unpleasant and then its faith alone ..... : )

 

or if faith doesn't seem like enough, as was/is the case with the puritans, then set out driving yourself crazy with as many works as you can. either way there is no assurance of salvation on either part or mixed together -me

[mymistake]

 

 

 

 

"If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it! Share if you agree!!!"

 

 

 

Does dying count as bringing you through it?

some other examples

1. it was adam and eve not adam and steve

2. We are saved by faith alone but not by a faith that is alone

it have to be true, after all it rhymes

 

How you are not saved by works, yet without works you cannot be saved.

The one thing that drove me insane with the bible is the "which is it" game. I know there are some here who know exactly what i am talking about.

 

 

 

Getting saved is easy.  To be saved you must . . . 

 

http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/contra/saved.html

 

Say the right things.   No wait, instead you must do the right things.  No wait, instead you must believe the right things.  No, that isn't quite right; to be saved you must do the right things and believe the right things.  No wait, instead you must work your way to heaven.  No wait, to be saved you must burn your work.  No wait, to be saved you must work out your salvation with fear and trembling.  No wait, you must hunger and thirst for righteousness. No wait, you must do what is lawful and right.  No wait, to be saved you must obey the law.  No wait, to be saved you must . . . 

[GoldenWolf]

Found another gem:

Are you feeling angry, depressed, or worried? If so, pray:

"God, revel Yourself to me in this moment. What are You doing in my life that I am not seeing? If all things work together for good, then show me the good.."

Remember when you're determined to see the good, you will find it in the Lord!

 

I spent 5 years of my life trying to pray my depression and anxiety away and I've gotten shit. There's no good in God either, he's an angry, contradicting, selfish asshole who created a whole species just to worship him for eternity, but if you're not up for that, you'll burn in Hell forever. Sounds like a pretty shit fan club.

[AManWithOutAGod]

 

One of my wisest choices was to attend daily mass, as often as possible, first thing in the AM. This has now aligned me with the 'Holy Spirit' so that people may be physically around but are mentally blocked out; as I meditate my focus on only one man's voice.

You 'just know' you're spiritually connected with the Lord when you can sit back and have those visions; received 1-2 weeks prior, come to pass right before your very eyes. 'Powerful'! ‪#‎MySpiritualJourney‬

maybe its because i only slept 5 hours and i am still waking up.... but this one annoyed me this morning....

 

She may be a Packer fan........ but that will only take you so far with me.......

[Guest Furball]

 

 

 

 

 

"If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it! Share if you agree!!!"

 

 

 

Does dying count as bringing you through it?

some other examples

1. it was adam and eve not adam and steve

2. We are saved by faith alone but not by a faith that is alone

it have to be true, after all it rhymes

 

How you are not saved by works, yet without works you cannot be saved.

The one thing that drove me insane with the bible is the "which is it" game. I know there are some here who know exactly what i am talking about.

 

 

 

Getting saved is easy.  To be saved you must . . . 

 

http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/contra/saved.html

 

Say the right things.   No wait, instead you must do the right things.  No wait, instead you must believe the right things.  No, that isn't quite right; to be saved you must do the right things and believe the right things.  No wait, instead you must work your way to heaven.  No wait, to be saved you must burn your work.  No wait, to be saved you must work out your salvation with fear and trembling.  No wait, you must hunger and thirst for righteousness. No wait, you must do what is lawful and right.  No wait, to be saved you must obey the law.  No wait, to be saved you must . . . 

 

unholy crap, i knew there were many ways to be saved but that list was incredible. Thanks for the link MM -peace

[Cousin Ricky]

Found another gem:

Are you feeling angry, depressed, or worried? If so, pray:

"God, revel Yourself to me in this moment. What are You doing in my life that I am not seeing? If all things work together for good, then show me the good.."

 

Remember when you're determined to see the good, you will find it in the Lord!

 

I spent 5 years of my life trying to pray my depression and anxiety away and I've gotten shit. There's no good in God either, he's an angry, contradicting, selfish asshole who created a whole species just to worship him for eternity, but if you're not up for that, you'll burn in Hell forever. Sounds like a pretty shit fan club.

 

You did well. I spent 14 years believing that if I could just figure out the god's will, my depression would go away.

[GoldenWolf]

oh the joys of having xian fam on FB. 

 

sometimes the things we pray for are actually not what is best for us, that's why sometimes the answer is no

 

So not curing my anxiety and depression is what's best for me? Or not feeling safe to come out to my parents? Fucking fantastic.

[★ Citsonga ★]

^^^ Yeah, and evidently not feeding the starving children in Africa is what's best for them. I suppose not protecting abused children is also what's best for them. And so on....

[Castiel233]

"sometimes the things we pray for are actually not what is best for us, that's why sometimes the answer is no"

 

 

Woman help captive  by a serial killer prays to God to lead the police to her. "What she prayed for is not actually what is best for her, that's why sometimes the answer is no"

 

How Christians square an invisible, yet interventionist God, who watches children die of starvation, yet loves us and wants us to know Him, yet cannot be tested by reality is beyond me.

 

The mental judo flips one has to do  to swallow this BS is breath taking 

 

Christian has all her family killed in a crash (Shuts her eyes to reality and mutters, God is good and good and good all the time, I must trust Him)

 

Remarries: Her new husband gambles away her life savings and runs off with her mum (Its a test, must pray harder, the Lord is good in all things)

 

Gets cancer on the day she forgets to renew her medical insurance (God will provide, truly He is the King of Kings and the Host of Toast)

 

Dies, goes to Hell and sings out Hymns  accepting  her fate as just 

 

1000000 mega zillion zillion  years later and still in Hell, starts to wonder if God might, just might be a fucking lunatic 

[Penguin]

Fifty Shades of Grey is such a popular subject right now. Everyone seems to think it's a romantic relationship between a guy and a girl. I've never personally read it, and if anyone tries to make me I can promise you I will shove all the literature possible down your throat. And I hope it's a hard copy..... ANYWAY..... From what I've heard about it, it's nothing but a disgusting, rich tycoon who has a sick and twisted mind and preys on young, innocent women. He preys on the weaker ones, the easily manipulated ones, and the ones who won't stand up for themselves. He takes out any kind of goodness and love and just has them there for his own disgusting pleasures. I am just amazed that people think THIS is romantic. Someone taking advantage of you, using their power against you, and using you to get his sex fix (in apparently creepy and unspeakable ways) is NOT love! God designed love and physical intimacy to be between a man and a woman in MARRIAGE! He is to LOVE her and CHRIST LOVED the church! Selflessly, passionately, deeply. This is none of those things. Fifty Shades of Grey is nothing but sick fantasies that twist everything God intended relationships to be. This article is spot on and I totally love it. It is so true. We have lost any sense of romance in the world and there are only a few people who manage to hold onto hope that they'll even find true love anymore. It's so sad. It shouldn't be that way. But it is. Because of things like this.

http://fightthenewdrug.org/five-things-fifty-shades-of-gr…/…

 

 

1. So you refuse to read the material about which you're expressing your opinion.

2. You threaten to (metaphorically) hurt anyone who tries to "make" you read it.

3. You're basing your opinion on what someone else has said.

4. You're actually completely ignorant of the story, but you're going to try to give a book review on the characters (and you're completely wrong).

5. You've added the Southern Baptist flourishes about marriage, paraphrasing (and/or quoting) the Bible, and the coup de gras:

 

We have lost any sense of romance in the world and there are only a few people who manage to hold onto hope that they'll even find true love anymore. It's so sad. It shouldn't be that way. But it is. Because of things like this.

 

Whatever it is, it's destroying 'Murica.

[Jeff]

 

Fifty Shades of Grey is such a popular subject right now. Everyone seems to think it's a romantic relationship between a guy and a girl. I've never personally read it, and if anyone tries to make me I can promise you I will shove all the literature possible down your throat. And I hope it's a hard copy..... ANYWAY..... From what I've heard about it, it's nothing but a disgusting, rich tycoon who has a sick and twisted mind and preys on young, innocent women. He preys on the weaker ones, the easily manipulated ones, and the ones who won't stand up for themselves. He takes out any kind of goodness and love and just has them there for his own disgusting pleasures. I am just amazed that people think THIS is romantic. Someone taking advantage of you, using their power against you, and using you to get his sex fix (in apparently creepy and unspeakable ways) is NOT love! God designed love and physical intimacy to be between a man and a woman in MARRIAGE! He is to LOVE her and CHRIST LOVED the church! Selflessly, passionately, deeply. This is none of those things. Fifty Shades of Grey is nothing but sick fantasies that twist everything God intended relationships to be. This article is spot on and I totally love it. It is so true. We have lost any sense of romance in the world and there are only a few people who manage to hold onto hope that they'll even find true love anymore. It's so sad. It shouldn't be that way. But it is. Because of things like this.

http://fightthenewdrug.org/five-things-fifty-shades-of-gr…/…

 

 

1. So you refuse to read the material about which you're expressing your opinion.

2. You threaten to (metaphorically) hurt anyone who tries to "make" you read it.

3. You're basing your opinion on what someone else has said.

4. You're actually completely ignorant of the story, but you're going to try to give a book review on the characters (and you're completely wrong).

5. You've added the Southern Baptist flourishes about marriage, paraphrasing (and/or quoting) the Bible, and the coup de gras:

 

We have lost any sense of romance in the world and there are only a few people who manage to hold onto hope that they'll even find true love anymore. It's so sad. It shouldn't be that way. But it is. Because of things like this.

 

Whatever it is, it's destroying 'Murica.

 

 

This right here is some damn fine criticism!  I only wish it could be posted to the original FBers posting so they would have to face a little reality.

 

[Penguin]

 

 

Fifty Shades of Grey is such a popular subject right now. Everyone seems to think it's a romantic relationship between a guy and a girl. I've never personally read it, and if anyone tries to make me I can promise you I will shove all the literature possible down your throat. And I hope it's a hard copy..... ANYWAY..... From what I've heard about it, it's nothing but a disgusting, rich tycoon who has a sick and twisted mind and preys on young, innocent women. He preys on the weaker ones, the easily manipulated ones, and the ones who won't stand up for themselves. He takes out any kind of goodness and love and just has them there for his own disgusting pleasures. I am just amazed that people think THIS is romantic. Someone taking advantage of you, using their power against you, and using you to get his sex fix (in apparently creepy and unspeakable ways) is NOT love! God designed love and physical intimacy to be between a man and a woman in MARRIAGE! He is to LOVE her and CHRIST LOVED the church! Selflessly, passionately, deeply. This is none of those things. Fifty Shades of Grey is nothing but sick fantasies that twist everything God intended relationships to be. This article is spot on and I totally love it. It is so true. We have lost any sense of romance in the world and there are only a few people who manage to hold onto hope that they'll even find true love anymore. It's so sad. It shouldn't be that way. But it is. Because of things like this.

http://fightthenewdrug.org/five-things-fifty-shades-of-gr…/…

 

 

1. So you refuse to read the material about which you're expressing your opinion.

2. You threaten to (metaphorically) hurt anyone who tries to "make" you read it.

3. You're basing your opinion on what someone else has said.

4. You're actually completely ignorant of the story, but you're going to try to give a book review on the characters (and you're completely wrong).

5. You've added the Southern Baptist flourishes about marriage, paraphrasing (and/or quoting) the Bible, and the coup de gras:

 

We have lost any sense of romance in the world and there are only a few people who manage to hold onto hope that they'll even find true love anymore. It's so sad. It shouldn't be that way. But it is. Because of things like this.

 

Whatever it is, it's destroying 'Murica.

 

 

This right here is some damn fine criticism!  I only wish it could be posted to the original FBers posting so they would have to face a little reality.

 

 

Thank you. I wish I could post it, but borrowing a note from the Christians, it would be "pearls before swine." The girl who posted it is so gone from reality, a case for a psychotic episode could be made.

[Penguin]

Here's a discussion that took place.

 

Christian A: There is so much theological confusion in our world today I don't even know where to begin on this one....

http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2015/02/08/katy-perry-god-spoke-to-me-before-super-bowl-performance/

 

Christian B: It clearly wasn't God. We as believers need to pray for her.

 

Me (Keep in mind I'm not "out" as an atheisty agnostic): How is that not from God? There are many Christian and/or "God acknowledging" celebrities the Evangelical community does not approve of. Sylvester Stallone. Katy Perry. Denzel Washington. Forrest Whitaker. They don't fit an Evangelical profile, but think of the article this way:

If the name of your pastor (be it xxxx or someone else) was the subject of the article, would you say it was not from God? xxxx, you know I respect you and normally I agree with you, but I guess I don't see why you're confused.

I think we shouldn't make judgments about the spiritual claims of someone. You never know if casting criticism will stifle a growing seed. Something like that happened to Brian "Head" Welch, the guitarist for the band Korn. He professed his faith, and--as far as I know--still has it.

Unfortunately Head (2 Christ) learned the hard way how Christians can hold a grudge. "He looks like a drug addict." Well, he was. He's clean. "He's got tattoos and long hair and piercings and..." Right. Because God can't use someone like that. The list goes on and on. The reason Brian turned back to secular music is because they are more accepting of his message than Christians are.

Shame on the Church for that.

 

Christian A: Penguin my push back is this: does God speak outside of His written Word in direct revelation to people? And if He does would not that word not be in contradiction to His written Word and would not the person's lifestyle and fruit be a life of holiness and repentance and obedience to His word? We cannot judge her salvation but does Katy perry have an overall lifestyle of obedience to Jesus in holiness and repentance?

 

Christian C: If she is still talking to God that is a plus. her soul needs Jesus! So many people in society love God and believe their lifestyle is ok because society tells them it is ok. Jesus hangs out with sinners and He will slowly get them back on track. Same as our society we can't shout to the roof tops that homosexuality is wrong we have to love the sinner and hate the sin but gently lead them to Christ and let Him do the rest. Same with people who believe they are satanists, atheists, agnostic, illuminati followers. We have to love them to Jesus and pray for them constantly. I am not disagreeing with anyone here. I think Katy is a beautiful lady with an amazing voice. Just wish she would use it to glorify God's kingdom. 

 

Christian D: I wonder if He also told her to put more clothes and quit producing so much immoral junk. When God genuinely speaks, He always confronts our sin. He is holy. When He reveals Himself, He doesn't hide His holiness. 

If God truly "got her" (her words), then she would repent.

 

 

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