mcdaddy Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 We have dominion Fic. So, fuckin rape the earth for all it has like a poor innocent child. Besides Jesus is comin back any day now, DUHHHH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdaddy Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 Oh and yeah, hot weather is always a sign god is pissed. And they make fun of pagan religions? This is nothing different than Greeks with Zeus and his thunderbolts. Jackasses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ ficino ♦ Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 A friend posted this and I wanted to comment, but decided to post here where people will relate ... God helps us in the midst of troubles, protects us from harm & guides us to go home safe!!! Ty for letting my brakes fall when I was about to park ! So does that mean god is not watching over the people who's brakes fail when they are driving? And why not letting them not fail at all? Why would God not have moved them to have their brakes maintained in an orderly and regular way? It blows my mind how God always creates these dramatic situations (car crashes, house fires) etc. in order to help his people. He sounds a little like a drama queen to me. I would prefer it if he just took care of business and preemptively gave more assistance. Marmot, are you the one who a while ago asked, about a fundy's long imaginary conv w/ God saving them from a fire that could have been caused by a short circuit in the house, etc.: "why is your house not up to code?" That cracked me up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akheia Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 That makes me think of that poor woman last Christmas who lost her entire family in a house fire caused by not having her dream McMansion up to code. I cried reading about her; there is no logic Christians can contort themselves into that will ever make me stop despising their vision of a God who says he loves all his people yet didn't even send an angel nor even a prophetic dream to tell her that her house was unsafe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marmot Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 Marmot, are you the one who a while ago asked, about a fundy's long imaginary conv w/ God saving them from a fire that could have been caused by a short circuit in the house, etc.: "why is your house not up to code?" That cracked me up! It could have been but to be honest I don't remember that. I know I have experienced similar kinds of situations on a near daily basis at my Christian workplace. I guess God just gets a little bored and likes to let things get interesting before he swoops in and saves the day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 It blows my mind how God always creates these dramatic situations (car crashes, house fires) etc. in order to help his people. He sounds a little like a drama queen to me. Hmmmm. Maybe God has borderline personality disorder, or is a wee bit histrionic...... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 Religion: A set of beliefs concerning the cause, future and purpose of the universe. Atheism: A set of beliefs concerning the cause, future and purpose of the universe. ATHEISM IS A RELIGION. No, that's a worldview or ontology you're talking about, which includes an explanation of the world and a futurology. Gawd. Will the crazy people please stop trying to run the asylum? The full dictionary.com version for definition #1 of religion is a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, especially when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs. Religious people dont really concern themselves with the cause, nature and purpose of the universe except to say god did it all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 Religion: A set of beliefs concerning the cause, future and purpose of the universe. Atheism: A set of beliefs concerning the cause, future and purpose of the universe. ATHEISM IS A RELIGION. No, that's a worldview or ontology you're talking about, which includes an explanation of the world and a futurology. Gawd. Will the crazy people please stop trying to run the asylum? God, i geuss that makes political beliefs a religion too, since they care about the fate and purpose of their country. i didnt realize that since i wanted to learn about the universe i was a religious fanatic, and that since i wanted to help the world in the name of humanity i worship the religion of atheism. i really want some one to post something like this on my facbook, i want to rip them a new one. Carl Sagan could have been pope of the Cosmology religion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 Religion: A set of beliefs concerning the cause, future and purpose of the universe. Atheism: A set of beliefs concerning the cause, future and purpose of the universe. ATHEISM IS A RELIGION. No, that's a worldview or ontology you're talking about, which includes an explanation of the world and a futurology. Gawd. Will the crazy people please stop trying to run the asylum? Even if atheism was classified a fuckin religion, at least it doesn't have you believe in dumb ass shit. Jeemeeny chrimas For sure. Atheism is a religion? Alright then: The religion of atheism allows you to keep 100% of your income, not 90%. The religion of atheism doesn't guilt you into praying, going to church, or talking about your imaginary friend continuously. The religion of atheism allows you to think about whatever you like. There are no thought crimes in atheism. The religion of atheism means you don't have to fear going to hell or other retribution by some supernatural terrorist. The religion of atheism has no doctrine. It is what you make it. So, who still wants to be an xian? :-) 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 A former work colleague of mine posted this: "It cannot get any hotter Saudi is 114 this morning!!!! Toronto 90"s all day NY 89+ Everyone everywhere has a never heard of temp today! What the heck is going on?! Pretty soon People will ignite -never mind the dried out forest areas! God is sending ANOTHER message we're NOT listening to!!!" I did not bother replying, though this raised my temp on top of what the weather did! Why can't the fundy/oil cartel establishment not classify degrading and destroying the earth as a sin? God was so pissed at his people that he made Antarctica impossibly cold to live there. Why aren't we listening to His warnings? God was so pissed at his people that he made Oregon so wet, cold and foggy. It's His warning of another flood, I'm afraid. God was so pissed at his people that he made Los Angeles shake. We should heed his anger. God was so pissed at his people that he made Nevada a wasteland of sagebrush and cactus. God needs a Xanax. Or should we say, "Our imagination" needs a Xanax. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stryper Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 ___Snip____ The religion of atheism doesn't guilt you into praying, going to church, or talking about your imaginary friend continuously. ___Snip___ But I like talking to my imaginary friends..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akheia Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 Um considering that the hottest part of the country is also the most fundie part of it, what's that say for God's aim? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Droptail Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 KJV-humping Baptist aunt posted the following joke: An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.” The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, “What would you want to talk about?” ” Oh, I don’t know,” said the atheist. “How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?” as he smiled smugly. “OK,” she said. “Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?” The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.” To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death, when you don’t know shit?” And I thought it was sophomorically clever...but overdone (it originally was about a Congressman and a child on a plane). I replied with the following joke, which I found elsewhere (nota bene: not my creation), inspired by the spirit of her post: Q: Why did God make homosexuality a sin? A: His boyfriend thought that would make it hotter. It could be entertaining when I see her in meatspace tomorrow. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 KJV-humping Baptist aunt posted the following joke: An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.” The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, “What would you want to talk about?” ” Oh, I don’t know,” said the atheist. “How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?” as he smiled smugly. “OK,” she said. “Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?” The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.” To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death, when you don’t know shit?” And I thought it was sophomorically clever...but overdone (it originally was about a Congressman and a child on a plane). I replied with the following joke, which I found elsewhere (nota bene: not my creation), inspired by the spirit of her post: Q: Why did God make homosexuality a sin? A: His boyfriend thought that would make it hotter. It could be entertaining when I see her in meatspace tomorrow. I happened by reddit/imgur and saw this...lol. http://i.imgur.com/mR6kq.png Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConureDelSol Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Yall will like this one. Same girl as the last few posts (I can always count on her for obnoxious hilarity): Dream last night: I ran Tim Burton, and he encountered the love of Jesus. He was so moved by it that he contacted me again, and was about to encounter more! #yesLord! #Hollywoodlove Then she commented right after: Tim Burton is known for his part in creating the movies such as The Nightmare Before Christmas, Dark Shadows (out now), Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, Edward Scissorhands, and Beetlejuice. His works are very creative but also have a very strong, dark element to them. Fam, can you imagine what would happen if this influential Hollywood film director, producer, and artist encountered the love of Jesus? The world would change! Because, you know, Tim Burton would start making happy and Christian movies and completely abandon his art style and everything that makes people love his movies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdaddy Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Yall will like this one. Same girl as the last few posts (I can always count on her for obnoxious hilarity): Dream last night: I ran Tim Burton, and he encountered the love of Jesus. He was so moved by it that he contacted me again, and was about to encounter more! #yesLord! #Hollywoodlove Then she commented right after: Tim Burton is known for his part in creating the movies such as The Nightmare Before Christmas, Dark Shadows (out now), Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, Edward Scissorhands, and Beetlejuice. His works are very creative but also have a very strong, dark element to them. Fam, can you imagine what would happen if this influential Hollywood film director, producer, and artist encountered the love of Jesus? The world would change! Because, you know, Tim Burton would start making happy and Christian movies and completely abandon his art style and everything that makes people love his movies. OMFGGGGGGGG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaiser01 Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Yall will like this one. Same girl as the last few posts (I can always count on her for obnoxious hilarity): Dream last night: I ran Tim Burton, and he encountered the love of Jesus. He was so moved by it that he contacted me again, and was about to encounter more! #yesLord! #Hollywoodlove Then she commented right after: Tim Burton is known for his part in creating the movies such as The Nightmare Before Christmas, Dark Shadows (out now), Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, Edward Scissorhands, and Beetlejuice. His works are very creative but also have a very strong, dark element to them. Fam, can you imagine what would happen if this influential Hollywood film director, producer, and artist encountered the love of Jesus? The world would change! Because, you know, Tim Burton would start making happy and Christian movies and completely abandon his art style and everything that makes people love his movies. OMFGGGGGGGG The nightmare before the passion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConureDelSol Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Yall will like this one. Same girl as the last few posts (I can always count on her for obnoxious hilarity): Dream last night: I ran Tim Burton, and he encountered the love of Jesus. He was so moved by it that he contacted me again, and was about to encounter more! #yesLord! #Hollywoodlove Then she commented right after: Tim Burton is known for his part in creating the movies such as The Nightmare Before Christmas, Dark Shadows (out now), Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, Edward Scissorhands, and Beetlejuice. His works are very creative but also have a very strong, dark element to them. Fam, can you imagine what would happen if this influential Hollywood film director, producer, and artist encountered the love of Jesus? The world would change! Because, you know, Tim Burton would start making happy and Christian movies and completely abandon his art style and everything that makes people love his movies. OMFGGGGGGGG The nightmare before the passion. IN 3D!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merck Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 What is this? I don't even. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lunaticheathen Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Yall will like this one. Same girl as the last few posts (I can always count on her for obnoxious hilarity): Dream last night: I ran Tim Burton, and he encountered the love of Jesus. He was so moved by it that he contacted me again, and was about to encounter more! #yesLord! #Hollywoodlove Then she commented right after: Tim Burton is known for his part in creating the movies such as The Nightmare Before Christmas, Dark Shadows (out now), Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, Edward Scissorhands, and Beetlejuice. His works are very creative but also have a very strong, dark element to them. Fam, can you imagine what would happen if this influential Hollywood film director, producer, and artist encountered the love of Jesus? The world would change! Because, you know, Tim Burton would start making happy and Christian movies and completely abandon his art style and everything that makes people love his movies. You know what? Burton's movies may be dark, but they're far more uplifting and cheery than ANY FUCKING THING IN THE BIBLE. Leave Tim alone, or I'm gonna have to go Vodou on some asses. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConureDelSol Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Posted by my aunt who is somehow younger than me who reposts every Jesusy thing she can find. Wow...that is the EXACT OPPOSITE of what the Bible did for me! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaiser01 Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Posted by my aunt who is somehow younger than me who reposts every Jesusy thing she can find. Wow...that is the EXACT OPPOSITE of what the Bible did for me! The bible stressed me out, the blood and killing was something i had to stew theologically on all the time and then the subliminal impossible things in the new testament are unforeseeable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdaddy Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Posted by my aunt who is somehow younger than me who reposts every Jesusy thing she can find. Wow...that is the EXACT OPPOSITE of what the Bible did for me! Your aunt is younger than you?? WTF!?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConureDelSol Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Posted by my aunt who is somehow younger than me who reposts every Jesusy thing she can find. Wow...that is the EXACT OPPOSITE of what the Bible did for me! Your aunt is younger than you?? WTF!?? She was adopted by my dad's father and step-mom. Even though she was born after me, she was adopted by the same parents that raised my dad which made her his sister. Even worse, her brother, my uncle, is even younger. They just love to wave that around in my face for some reason. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GardenerGal Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 What is this? I don't even. Ok, had to think a bit. The kid must've have put his hands in front of Jesus's eye and said "guess who?!" Makes total sense now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now