Things Fundies Say On Facebook

[Ranger26]

'A 2.5 hour date with Jesus was way overdue. So happy that something so simple as spending time reading and listening can be so transforming for my heart and soul.

"For you are all children of light, children of the day. We are not of the night or of the darkness." 1 Thess. 5:5'

 

sigh, I remember thinking like that. 

i still feel like that, and i believe it can be helpful, its like nature walks, meditation, relaxing...it does one good. Doesn't mean i believe in the same God as she does

[Ranger26]

some of my friend's quotes:
As the one who knows the end from the beginning, Father purposed to forgive you before you ever sinned.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=791113975258&set=p.791113975258&type=1&theater
 

 

When they adopted their new dog, one of their friends wrote "The Lord has found him a new home!" - really?

[Lilith666]

 

 

 

Oh yes, and I can't forget about this comment as well:

 

"Sorry. but as a Christian I feel that the so-called "female orgasm" should be avoided at all costs. The fact the good women don't experience orgasms is proof of God's love. Only vile whores seized by demons can possibly welcome such unbridled madness. REMEMBER- sex has but one purpose-procreation within marriage. A woman's job is to quietly receive her husbands seed & provide nurture for his offspring. Stimulation & enjoyment is NOT a part of God's plan!

 

 

SMH.

Then I like being a vile demon-possessed whore.

Is she for real??? even while being a Christian my only response for be a face-palm...now i can't even believe people think that way today. too bad for her, she is missing out on a lot of good time with her husband!

This woman's (or man's) mindset is so sad. But not all Xians think like that....I'm always seeing books about how Gawd meant sex to be enjoyed within "His design for marriage." Meaning no live-in or same-gender relationships, of course. But there may be hope for the semi-fundies....

[bfuddled]

 

 

 

Oh yes, and I can't forget about this comment as well:

 

"Sorry. but as a Christian I feel that the so-called "female orgasm" should be avoided at all costs. The fact the good women don't experience orgasms is proof of God's love. Only vile whores seized by demons can possibly welcome such unbridled madness. REMEMBER- sex has but one purpose-procreation within marriage. A woman's job is to quietly receive her husbands seed & provide nurture for his offspring. Stimulation & enjoyment is NOT a part of God's plan!

 

 

SMH.

Then I like being a vile demon-possessed whore.

Is she for real??? even while being a Christian my only response for be a face-palm...now i can't even believe people think that way today. too bad for her, she is missing out on a lot of good time with her husband!

This woman's (or man's) mindset is so sad. But not all Xians think like that....I'm always seeing books about how Gawd meant sex to be enjoyed within "His design for marriage." Meaning no live-in or same-gender relationships, of course. But there may be hope for the semi-fundies....

 

 

We just finished a study on a book called "Intimate Issues" in the Christian women's group I was attending (we're off for the summer and I don't think I'll be going back in the fall) that was about sexual issues/questions from a woman's perspective. I was actually very pleasantly surprised that it was pretty open and honest and encouraged women to be sexual and enjoy sex.

 

They didn't plug the whole "It's your wifely duty" line about having sex when you don't want to but your husband does, but they did say that we should pray for God to make us willing to have sex for our husband's edification. There was also a freaky suggestion to envision Jesus by the side of the bed when you're having sex. Somehow it was connected to it being a "holy and pleasing act" and the Jesus would want to be there??

[WaitingInfinity]

 

The above got messed up and became undeletable.

 

bfuddled:

"They didn't plug the whole "It's your wifely duty" line about having sex when you don't want to but your husband does, but they did say that we should pray for God to make us willing to have sex for our husband's edification. There was also a freaky suggestion to envision Jesus by the side of the bed when you're having sex. Somehow it was connected to it being a "holy and pleasing act" and the Jesus would want to be there??"

 

 

 

Well that's scary.  And a turn off. 

 

Jesus wants to see your orgasm face.

[TrueFreedom]

I never pictured Jesus as such a freak!  Let's get freaky with Jesus, baby!

[FreeThinkerNZ]

Nuns used to use a canvas cover they put over the bath so god wouldn't see their nakedness.  I always wondered though didn't god see them as they were getting in?

[★ Citsonga ★]

 

We just finished a study on a book called "Intimate Issues" in the Christian women's group I was attending (we're off for the summer and I don't think I'll be going back in the fall) that was about sexual issues/questions from a woman's perspective. I was actually very pleasantly surprised that it was pretty open and honest and encouraged women to be sexual and enjoy sex.

 

They didn't plug the whole "It's your wifely duty" line about having sex when you don't want to but your husband does, but they did say that we should pray for God to make us willing to have sex for our husband's edification. There was also a freaky suggestion to envision Jesus by the side of the bed when you're having sex. Somehow it was connected to it being a "holy and pleasing act" and the Jesus would want to be there??

 

 

I guess even Jesus likes to watch couples do their thing.

[Cousin Ricky]

Nuns used to use a canvas cover they put over the bath so god wouldn't see their nakedness.  I always wondered though didn't god see them as they were getting in?

 

They just need to slip a fig leaf under the habit before they take it off.

 

Hey, it worked for Adam and Eve, didn't it? (Genesis 3:7-9) (Thinking of the towel in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.)

[Lilith666]

This annoyed me, until I realized it's only a display of insecurity.

[Lilith666]

 

 

The above got messed up and became undeletable.

 

bfuddled:

"They didn't plug the whole "It's your wifely duty" line about having sex when you don't want to but your husband does, but they did say that we should pray for God to make us willing to have sex for our husband's edification. There was also a freaky suggestion to envision Jesus by the side of the bed when you're having sex. Somehow it was connected to it being a "holy and pleasing act" and the Jesus would want to be there??"

 

 

 

I hope not....

[midniterider]

 

 

 

 

Oh yes, and I can't forget about this comment as well:

 

"Sorry. but as a Christian I feel that the so-called "female orgasm" should be avoided at all costs. The fact the good women don't experience orgasms is proof of God's love. Only vile whores seized by demons can possibly welcome such unbridled madness. REMEMBER- sex has but one purpose-procreation within marriage. A woman's job is to quietly receive her husbands seed & provide nurture for his offspring. Stimulation & enjoyment is NOT a part of God's plan!

 

 

SMH.

Then I like being a vile demon-possessed whore.

Is she for real??? even while being a Christian my only response for be a face-palm...now i can't even believe people think that way today. too bad for her, she is missing out on a lot of good time with her husband!

This woman's (or man's) mindset is so sad. But not all Xians think like that....I'm always seeing books about how Gawd meant sex to be enjoyed within "His design for marriage." Meaning no live-in or same-gender relationships, of course. But there may be hope for the semi-fundies....

 

 

We just finished a study on a book called "Intimate Issues" in the Christian women's group I was attending (we're off for the summer and I don't think I'll be going back in the fall) that was about sexual issues/questions from a woman's perspective. I was actually very pleasantly surprised that it was pretty open and honest and encouraged women to be sexual and enjoy sex.

 

They didn't plug the whole "It's your wifely duty" line about having sex when you don't want to but your husband does, but they did say that we should pray for God to make us willing to have sex for our husband's edification. There was also a freaky suggestion to envision Jesus by the side of the bed when you're having sex. Somehow it was connected to it being a "holy and pleasing act" and the Jesus would want to be there??

 

 

Or if that doesnt kill your arousal, envision your mother there by the side of the bed.

[bfuddled]

Yeah.. the other suggestion was to strip naked and go look in the mirror and pray and ask God to tell you what he thinks about your body. That one weirded me out too.

 

There was a woman there who is in her 40s and dating a guy and was asking for advice about the whole sex thing. She said they are struggling to remain abstinent because they know it's "god's plan" that they don't have sex before they're married, but they're not ready to get married yet. Some women recommended getting married ASAP so as not to displease God by having sex outside of marriage. What kind of f'd up advice is that? Get married to someone before you're sure you're ready, just so you can checkmark the "good" box for God and get it on? The sad thing is that the whole "hurry up and get married so that we can have sex" thing happens all too often in Christians. It's ridiculous when you actually look at it.

[rach]

 

ok that response didn't even make sense.

Sounds like it just gave the guy an excuse to preach. I am sure "grace abounded" for the people in the towers that day - like they could really see the "greater good" as they were debating whether to jump or be incinerated. What a crock!!

 

I am sure the victims were overjoyed to be burnt to death in order that god could achieve his great plans.  What a joy it is to serve our gracious god who lets us burn alive so that "greater goods" can be achieved such as large crowds of people gathering at mass to pray to his Holiness.  God must have really been lonely and needing some attention that day.  "It's been awfully quiet up here in the Heavens of late.  I guess it's time to stir the pot, murder a bunch of people.  They'll come running to me then, they always do, the damned fools"

[bfuddled]

Just read this Gem:

 

 

Disclaimer: before I even start let me pre face this by saying that this post is NOT pointed at anyone or incited by anyone and I realize that not everyone that wears a swimsuit is a "flaunt it like you got it" kind of person. A friend and I were discussing swimwear and because modesty is ALWAYS appropriate and we can't promote it enough, I'm posting this. There are young girls out there (and women) that need to know modesty is still in style, it's always classy and ALWAYS Godly!

So I've came to the conclusion that for most people their underwear receives more respect than their bodies. Why? Because I don't know any good moral person that would walk around in their underwear but yet doesn't have a problem wearing the same thing in public if it's labeled "swimwear" or "bathing suit". That means it's not inappropriate to show your body, just your underwear.................?!?!? Now I realize I've been raised to keep myself covered so the idea of wearing a bathing suit is abhorrent to me but lets just take a look at this............if a article of clothing covers your private parts that is called your underwear, right? WHY IS A BIKINI/SWIMSUIT, ETC ANY DIFFERENT?
It's not about being ashamed of my body, in fact its the opposite! I am so proud of my body (in a holy way) that I don't share it with anyone, except my husband..........that includes looks from other people. It's not for everyone to look at. You wouldn't allow a man to touch you inappropriately(I hope!).......don't give them something to cause them to look at you that way either. I know, I know, the men should keep their eyes to themselves, it's their fault, not yours. That is the sorriest excuse I've ever heard! When you put on skimpy, indecent artilces of clothing, people WILL look whether you are skinny OR fat! Because it is not natural (or Godly) for people to walk around undressed. You try it, go stand on the street fully dressed and watch how many people drive by and never even glance your way. Then take off all your clothes except your underwear and stand there and see how many people nearly have a wreck trying to look!! (ok, please don't do that, that was just and example! lol!) The point is, God made our bodies to be sacred, we ARE the temple of God after all! When I walk out of my house I wear clothing that I wouldn't be ashamed or embarrassed for Jesus Christ to see! My momma always said it's more fun to open a wrapped present anyway! lol! (in a married situation, of course!)
Remember the story of the man that had the legions of devils in him? No man could bind him, he had an unclean spirit but when Jesus delivered him he went home CLOTHED AND IN HIS RIGHT MIND! Mark 5: 1-15

1 Corinthians 6:19 - What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost [which is] in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?

Matthew 5:28 - But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

Looking for modest swimwear? Want to know what we wear? Personally, everyone in our family wears those quick drying athletic shirts, the guy's wear those super thin, light weight slick pants and us girls make a skirt out of a pair of men's swimming trunks. Everything dry's quick and no one has to view our bodies in the process

[amateur]

^^But consensual inappropriate touching is FUN!!!!

 

[Autumn2909]

This has done the rounds of my Christian FB friends.

[VOM.]

 

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=323629531128280&set=a.167931683364733.1073741826.167928726698362&type=1&theater

[FreeThinkerNZ]

 

Just read this Gem:

 

 

Disclaimer: before I even start let me pre face this by saying that this post is NOT pointed at anyone or incited by anyone and I realize that not everyone that wears a swimsuit is a "flaunt it like you got it" kind of person. A friend and I were discussing swimwear and because modesty is ALWAYS appropriate and we can't promote it enough, I'm posting this. There are young girls out there (and women) that need to know modesty is still in style, it's always classy and ALWAYS Godly!

So I've came to the conclusion that for most people their underwear receives more respect than their bodies. Why? Because I don't know any good moral person that would walk around in their underwear but yet doesn't have a problem wearing the same thing in public if it's labeled "swimwear" or "bathing suit". That means it's not inappropriate to show your body, just your underwear.................?!?!? Now I realize I've been raised to keep myself covered so the idea of wearing a bathing suit is abhorrent to me but lets just take a look at this............if a article of clothing covers your private parts that is called your underwear, right? WHY IS A BIKINI/SWIMSUIT, ETC ANY DIFFERENT?

It's not about being ashamed of my body, in fact its the opposite! I am so proud of my body (in a holy way) that I don't share it with anyone, except my husband..........that includes looks from other people. It's not for everyone to look at. You wouldn't allow a man to touch you inappropriately(I hope!).......don't give them something to cause them to look at you that way either. I know, I know, the men should keep their eyes to themselves, it's their fault, not yours. That is the sorriest excuse I've ever heard! When you put on skimpy, indecent artilces of clothing, people WILL look whether you are skinny OR fat! Because it is not natural (or Godly) for people to walk around undressed. You try it, go stand on the street fully dressed and watch how many people drive by and never even glance your way. Then take off all your clothes except your underwear and stand there and see how many people nearly have a wreck trying to look!! (ok, please don't do that, that was just and example! lol!) The point is, God made our bodies to be sacred, we ARE the temple of God after all! When I walk out of my house I wear clothing that I wouldn't be ashamed or embarrassed for Jesus Christ to see! My momma always said it's more fun to open a wrapped present anyway! lol! (in a married situation, of course!)

Remember the story of the man that had the legions of devils in him? No man could bind him, he had an unclean spirit but when Jesus delivered him he went home CLOTHED AND IN HIS RIGHT MIND! Mark 5: 1-15

1 Corinthians 6:19 - What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost [which is] in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?

Matthew 5:28 - But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

Looking for modest swimwear? Want to know what we wear? Personally, everyone in our family wears those quick drying athletic shirts, the guy's wear those super thin, light weight slick pants and us girls make a skirt out of a pair of men's swimming trunks. Everything dry's quick and no one has to view our bodies in the process

 

Good times.

[midniterider]

 

Just read this Gem:

 

 

Disclaimer: before I even start let me pre face this by saying that this post is NOT pointed at anyone or incited by anyone and I realize that not everyone that wears a swimsuit is a "flaunt it like you got it" kind of person. A friend and I were discussing swimwear and because modesty is ALWAYS appropriate and we can't promote it enough, I'm posting this. There are young girls out there (and women) that need to know modesty is still in style, it's always classy and ALWAYS Godly!

So I've came to the conclusion that for most people their underwear receives more respect than their bodies. Why? Because I don't know any good moral person that would walk around in their underwear but yet doesn't have a problem wearing the same thing in public if it's labeled "swimwear" or "bathing suit". That means it's not inappropriate to show your body, just your underwear.................?!?!? Now I realize I've been raised to keep myself covered so the idea of wearing a bathing suit is abhorrent to me but lets just take a look at this............if a article of clothing covers your private parts that is called your underwear, right? WHY IS A BIKINI/SWIMSUIT, ETC ANY DIFFERENT?

It's not about being ashamed of my body, in fact its the opposite! I am so proud of my body (in a holy way) that I don't share it with anyone, except my husband..........that includes looks from other people. It's not for everyone to look at. You wouldn't allow a man to touch you inappropriately(I hope!).......don't give them something to cause them to look at you that way either. I know, I know, the men should keep their eyes to themselves, it's their fault, not yours. That is the sorriest excuse I've ever heard! When you put on skimpy, indecent artilces of clothing, people WILL look whether you are skinny OR fat! Because it is not natural (or Godly) for people to walk around undressed. You try it, go stand on the street fully dressed and watch how many people drive by and never even glance your way. Then take off all your clothes except your underwear and stand there and see how many people nearly have a wreck trying to look!! (ok, please don't do that, that was just and example! lol!) The point is, God made our bodies to be sacred, we ARE the temple of God after all! When I walk out of my house I wear clothing that I wouldn't be ashamed or embarrassed for Jesus Christ to see! My momma always said it's more fun to open a wrapped present anyway! lol! (in a married situation, of course!)

Remember the story of the man that had the legions of devils in him? No man could bind him, he had an unclean spirit but when Jesus delivered him he went home CLOTHED AND IN HIS RIGHT MIND! Mark 5: 1-15

1 Corinthians 6:19 - What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost [which is] in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?

Matthew 5:28 - But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

Looking for modest swimwear? Want to know what we wear? Personally, everyone in our family wears those quick drying athletic shirts, the guy's wear those super thin, light weight slick pants and us girls make a skirt out of a pair of men's swimming trunks. Everything dry's quick and no one has to view our bodies in the process

 

 

Sexually inhibited Christian women who wear conservative clothing....are hot!!! lol.

[owen652]

 

 

Just read this Gem:

 

 

Disclaimer: before I even start let me pre face this by saying that this post is NOT pointed at anyone or incited by anyone and I realize that not everyone that wears a swimsuit is a "flaunt it like you got it" kind of person. A friend and I were discussing swimwear and because modesty is ALWAYS appropriate and we can't promote it enough, I'm posting this. There are young girls out there (and women) that need to know modesty is still in style, it's always classy and ALWAYS Godly!

So I've came to the conclusion that for most people their underwear receives more respect than their bodies. Why? Because I don't know any good moral person that would walk around in their underwear but yet doesn't have a problem wearing the same thing in public if it's labeled "swimwear" or "bathing suit". That means it's not inappropriate to show your body, just your underwear.................?!?!? Now I realize I've been raised to keep myself covered so the idea of wearing a bathing suit is abhorrent to me but lets just take a look at this............if a article of clothing covers your private parts that is called your underwear, right? WHY IS A BIKINI/SWIMSUIT, ETC ANY DIFFERENT?

It's not about being ashamed of my body, in fact its the opposite! I am so proud of my body (in a holy way) that I don't share it with anyone, except my husband..........that includes looks from other people. It's not for everyone to look at. You wouldn't allow a man to touch you inappropriately(I hope!).......don't give them something to cause them to look at you that way either. I know, I know, the men should keep their eyes to themselves, it's their fault, not yours. That is the sorriest excuse I've ever heard! When you put on skimpy, indecent artilces of clothing, people WILL look whether you are skinny OR fat! Because it is not natural (or Godly) for people to walk around undressed. You try it, go stand on the street fully dressed and watch how many people drive by and never even glance your way. Then take off all your clothes except your underwear and stand there and see how many people nearly have a wreck trying to look!! (ok, please don't do that, that was just and example! lol!) The point is, God made our bodies to be sacred, we ARE the temple of God after all! When I walk out of my house I wear clothing that I wouldn't be ashamed or embarrassed for Jesus Christ to see! My momma always said it's more fun to open a wrapped present anyway! lol! (in a married situation, of course!)

Remember the story of the man that had the legions of devils in him? No man could bind him, he had an unclean spirit but when Jesus delivered him he went home CLOTHED AND IN HIS RIGHT MIND! Mark 5: 1-15

1 Corinthians 6:19 - What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost [which is] in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?

Matthew 5:28 - But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

Looking for modest swimwear? Want to know what we wear? Personally, everyone in our family wears those quick drying athletic shirts, the guy's wear those super thin, light weight slick pants and us girls make a skirt out of a pair of men's swimming trunks. Everything dry's quick and no one has to view our bodies in the process

 

Good times.

 

Sounds like a fun family. I would bet my house that this woman masturbates compulsively.

[FreeThinkerNZ]

The facepalm moments came when I read the comments below this innocuous quote:

 

 

Fundie #1: That's debatable.  There is so much literature out there that is harmful, even for adult minds.

Fundie #2: Not every book is good for you.

 

I think books scare them.  Newsflash:  books cannot hurt you, fundies!

 

[Cousin Ricky]

I think books scare them.  Newsflash:  books cannot hurt you, fundies!

 

But they certainly can hurt the faith of the people who fill the plate. In a sense, they're right to be scared.

 

I don't believe in a supernatural heaven, but by encouraging reading, Maya Angelou has given many children a bit of heaven on earth.

[Neverlandrut]

The facepalm moments came when I read the comments below this innocuous quote:

 

 

Fundie #1: That's debatable. There is so much literature out there that is harmful, even for adult minds.

Fundie #2: Not every book is good for you.

 

I think books scare them. Newsflash: books cannot hurt you, fundies!

God forbid you should read something other than the bible and books by Christian authors! You know, god made our minds so fragile that if we read something against god's will in the slightest, we could get sucked into the bottomless void of the devil's trap and commit terrible sins such as thinking the wrong things! Even worse, we could become atheists!!

 

Funny... Reading the bible made me an atheist.

[bfuddled]

Just read this:

 

 

My X (33) has thyroid cancer. I went with her for the biopsy and just spoke with her Dr. Obviously, there are are no good cancers but this is the best one to have. Praise God in all things. Expecting Him to shine in X's life!!!

 

Does that make sense to anyone?? Praise god that it's a "good" cancer?? How about God could have "shined" by not allowing her to get the cancer in the first place?!

[Neverlandrut]

Just read this:

 

 

My X (33) has thyroid cancer. I went with her for the biopsy and just spoke with her Dr. Obviously, there are are no good cancers but this is the best one to have. Praise God in all things. Expecting Him to shine in X's life!!!

Does that make sense to anyone?? Praise god that it's a "good" cancer?? How about God could have "shined" by not allowing her to get the cancer in the first place?!

A couple in the church I used to go to lost both of their young boys in a recent tornado. I would never want to diminish their loss or put down whatever coping mechanism helps them, but of course they (and the whole church) are praising god that somehow he is going to use their story to lead others to him. I just don't understand it anymore!!