SusanStoHeli Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 You can do the same thing here. Look at the divorce rate by state, teen pregnancy rate by state, etc. then look at the level of religious people in that state. More divorce, more teen preg, etc. are always linked to the most religious states. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahinprogress Posted May 25, 2012 Author Share Posted May 25, 2012 update: My mom said she got in a big fight with my dad last night, and that's probably what led this his being so receptive and actually listening to what i was saying rather than just shutting me down. she told him hes too black and white, judgemental,and negetive. She also told him if he wanted to have any kind of relationship with me he was going to have to make an effort to have a relationship with my boyfriend, because he's the man i've chosen. My father told her he didn't think that id get into my nursing program because "why would go bless her," implying that i will be denied that blessing due to my apostate status. My mom got so upset she left, and didnt come home until after i came home, several hours later. sooooo, its probably due more to my mom's fight with my dad than my own ability to stand up to him that we had an actual conversation last night, but im still proud of myself for not shutting down. I just wish i could have a relationship with my dad apart from god/theology, but i dont think that will ever happen. edit: so today my dad bought her an iPad, after she cancelled the movie date they were supposed to go on. this has happened so many times in my life! mom and dad fight -> mom is right - > dad is stubborn -> mom goes silent -> dad buys her gifts and is extra nice. gah! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdaddy Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 The part about "why would god bless you" almost sent me off the road in a blind rage. ( I know I shouldn't be driving and reading...). I haven't heard that line in a long time but damn my mom was a HUGE fan of that line. UGH!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahinprogress Posted May 25, 2012 Author Share Posted May 25, 2012 The part about "why would god bless you" almost sent me off the road in a blind rage. ( I know I shouldn't be driving and reading...). I haven't heard that line in a long time but damn my mom was a HUGE fan of that line. UGH!!! Noooo don't drive off the road! The interesting thing is....it just went right over me. Didnt phase me or make me feel afraid or guilty. It made me sad for him. It made me sad that he bases what he is getting/earning/becoming based on gods blessings and not his own efforts. I should know by Friday if I got in or not...so i guess we'll see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdaddy Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 I wish I'd have stayed with the nursing program I was accepted into. Then I wouldn't have flunked out of my senior year of pharmacy school, and I'd be debt free right now. I guess god proactively deblessed me for my future apostasy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahinprogress Posted May 25, 2012 Author Share Posted May 25, 2012 I wish I'd have stayed with the nursing program I was accepted into. Then I wouldn't have flunked out of my senior year of pharmacy school, and I'd be debt free right now. I guess god proactively deblessed me for my future apostasy. haha! that's the thing: if you DO believe you dont belive enough, or god is testing you. if you DONT believe god is punishing you for your unbelief! its ridiculous Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator TrueFreedom Posted May 26, 2012 Moderator Share Posted May 26, 2012 It gets better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue elephant Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 edit: so today my dad bought her an iPad, after she cancelled the movie date they were supposed to go on. this has happened so many times in my life! mom and dad fight -> mom is right - > dad is stubborn -> mom goes silent -> dad buys her gifts and is extra nice. gah! Hey Duckie Do you realise that this is a washed out version of the domestic violence cycle? Woman gets beaten up. Woman goes to the womens refuge. Man contacts her at the refuge. Brings flowers and chocolates and says it will never happen again. A couple of months later ......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahinprogress Posted May 26, 2012 Author Share Posted May 26, 2012 edit: so today my dad bought her an iPad, after she cancelled the movie date they were supposed to go on. this has happened so many times in my life! mom and dad fight -> mom is right - > dad is stubborn -> mom goes silent -> dad buys her gifts and is extra nice. gah! Hey Duckie Do you realise that this is a washed out version of the domestic violence cycle? Woman gets beaten up. Woman goes to the womens refuge. Man contacts her at the refuge. Brings flowers and chocolates and says it will never happen again. A couple of months later ......... oh i totally know this, we have the honeymoon phase around here quite often, followed by grumpy/angry/confrontational father. If i ever told my mother that though, shed be in deep denial. she asked me recently if i thought my father was just crazy and i told her a very watered down and gentle version of "yes" =/ she just doesnt see it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akheia Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 I admit I feel so sorry for your mom, caught in the middle of all this. She sounds like a decent person deep down. And it sounds like your apostasy is giving her permission to explore her own doubts about her faith and her relationship. My Evil Ex used to buy me shit after we fought too, and I called him on it every single time, not that it stopped him from trying to buy his way into my good graces. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ ficino ♦ Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 I think the most important thing to remember is that your ACTIONS are your own, and HIS are his own. that was the most important thing for me, anyways. Realizing that he might be saying "because you are doing this, i must act this way" its really just "i must act this way." Or maybe it's really even "i wanna act this way." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahinprogress Posted May 26, 2012 Author Share Posted May 26, 2012 I think the most important thing to remember is that your ACTIONS are your own, and HIS are his own. that was the most important thing for me, anyways. Realizing that he might be saying "because you are doing this, i must act this way" its really just "i must act this way." Or maybe it's really even "i wanna act this way." I honestly believe its 'must.' it DOES hurt him to handle this situation, but his god is more Important to him than me, so he must act on those principles. Its very sad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahinprogress Posted May 26, 2012 Author Share Posted May 26, 2012 I admit I feel so sorry for your mom, caught in the middle of all this. She sounds like a decent person deep down. And it sounds like your apostasy is giving her permission to explore her own doubts about her faith and her relationship. My Evil Ex used to buy me shit after we fought too, and I called him on it every single time, not that it stopped him from trying to buy his way into my good graces. Yeah... I try to keep her out of it as much as I can but it is hard because I used to tell her EVERYTHING. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akheia Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 Duckie, my heart goes out to you. I want to make sure you understand something about people like your dad, though. It's not "must." His behavior is his choice, and he's doing it because it feeds him somehow to behave this way toward you. It's his roadmap to relationships. It's a big brass key in his hand that unlocks doors. It rewards him, empowers him, answers his questions, and reassures him of his warped worldview. What he's doing is 100% his choice, and he may say he hates it, but he hates it in the exact same way that a damaged-goods woman hates it that she always picks assholes to date. Somehow, somewhere, it's feeding people to choose the actions they do. When people realize with utter certainty that their behavior is a big problem, they figure their shit out and change. Yes, his religion is more important than you, but if he's over the age of 18, it is completely on him that it is so. It kinda sounded like you were making excuses for him or making him sound helpless. But he's an adult. If he really wants to change, if it becomes important to him to get help for his bizarre, hurtful views, then trust me, nothing in this world will stop him from making amends and getting help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahinprogress Posted May 27, 2012 Author Share Posted May 27, 2012 Duckie, my heart goes out to you. I want to make sure you understand something about people like your dad, though. It's not "must." His behavior is his choice, and he's doing it because it feeds him somehow to behave this way toward you. It's his roadmap to relationships. It's a big brass key in his hand that unlocks doors. It rewards him, empowers him, answers his questions, and reassures him of his warped worldview. What he's doing is 100% his choice, and he may say he hates it, but he hates it in the exact same way that a damaged-goods woman hates it that she always picks assholes to date. Somehow, somewhere, it's feeding people to choose the actions they do. When people realize with utter certainty that their behavior is a big problem, they figure their shit out and change. Yes, his religion is more important than you, but if he's over the age of 18, it is completely on him that it is so. It kinda sounded like you were making excuses for him or making him sound helpless. But he's an adult. If he really wants to change, if it becomes important to him to get help for his bizarre, hurtful views, then trust me, nothing in this world will stop him from making amends and getting help. Oh, no! By no means am I making excuses for him. *I* know its all his choice and that all his actions are on him. But the sad thing is HE doesn't see that, and he hold his religion up ad a shield in hurting people. It makes me sad that this religion causes so much pain for so many. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akheia Posted May 27, 2012 Share Posted May 27, 2012 Whew! Glad to hear it! Just understand that everything people do is a choice. Nothing we do is a "must." It's a choice we make based on the inputs we've received and the viewpoints we hold. The problem is that your dad is receiving some very clear inputs that his viewpoints may need adjusting and changing, and he's not willing to re-evaluate those viewpoints in light of the new information. Christianity is a religion for people who are terrified of change, who are too rigid to alter course, who can't accept a civil challenge to their views or successfully incorporate new ideas or synthesize new viewpoints from the world around them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahinprogress Posted May 30, 2012 Author Share Posted May 30, 2012 Well, i found out yesterday that i didnt get into the nursing program. SO i guess on to the next thing, after i figure out what that is. I came into my room after my shower this morning to find a copy of "the sovereignty of god" by A.W. Pink on my bed. left by my father, of course. ugh! Edit: he's also given me "revelation: four views" by Steve Gregg. I don't think he understands that I reject the bible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akheia Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 Wow. That's pretty presumptuous of him to leave those books like that, without even asking if you'd be interested. Feel free to do what I did with a Scientology book once--used it to prop open a window with a problematic frame. If you have birds, the logical use for the books presents itself fairly easily. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdaddy Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 Sorry Duckie. I feel your pain, trust me, I feel you. Don't give up if it's what you want to do- its a great field. Ask what you can do to better your position should you apply again. I did that and it got me into pharmacy school (I didn't get accepted the first time either.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SusanStoHeli Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 A relative of mine went into nursing by doing paramedic first. If you're up for that - it'd be a bit more physical, but a good way to get a start, and get a job a bit more quickly. Such a nice 'present' from your dad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdaddy Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 Oh yeah, the books. I'm a dad of 2 daughters (2 and 7) so let me just say this- go easy on him. Obviously I don't agree with his antics, but hes only trying to help. I know you know this, so just understand he loves you as wants the best for you. Because he's older he thinks he's wiser (in this case re religion he's not) and is using that experience to try and make your life better. As long a he's not overly pushy don't worry about it. I'm sure he loves you more than you'll ever know. Ok lecture over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahinprogress Posted June 16, 2012 Author Share Posted June 16, 2012 Dads asking me about the cradle of civilization an the origin of languages and that man kind just appeared suddenly knowing how to read and write. Resources? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator TrueFreedom Posted June 16, 2012 Moderator Share Posted June 16, 2012 Wow--he should take some time to study for himself... Evid3nc3 vids speak to the origins of language a bit. Maybe you can start him on those: http://www.youtube.com/user/Evid3nc3 He can check the sources mentioned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akheia Posted June 16, 2012 Share Posted June 16, 2012 As much as I dislike Wikipedia as a serious source for scholarly study, it is a nice start if he's just beginning to dive into human history like this and it'll usually cite more scholarly sources so he can look stuff up if he wants more info. It's early and I'm pre-coffee but I think what he wants are paleo-anthropology works. If he's looking into it seriously, I notice The Recursive Mind got 5 stars on Amazon. If he wants something less scholarly and more playful, I can attest that The Mother Tongue is a quick, witty, fantastic read about specifically English's evolution, but it does devote a chapter to the development of language in general. (Spoiler: the Tower of Babel gets short shrift.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SusanStoHeli Posted June 16, 2012 Share Posted June 16, 2012 Has he never heard of the Rosetta Stone? Or heck, how about cave paintings showing what is really the earliest form of a written record of what man was seeing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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